Down - er [dou-ner]
-noun. Slang1. An exceptionally stupid or idiotic individual ( Read more... )

Have you seen this new Orville Redenbacher commercial? Neither have I.

But, as you might know, it stars a man more than a decade dead.

My friend Sean, in reference to this, has, as of yesterday (January 16, 2007.... OMG we live in the future!!!) coined the term "digivived" to describe this. You heard it here first... but it came from him first ( Read more... )

I do try not to "over-share" personal details that you don't want to know about.

For instance, I don't post here about my fetish for midget clowns gang-rarping a large bowl of gnocchi with peanut sauce while singing the Oompa Loompa song and dancing the Macarena as I hose them down with Robitussin.

...oops.

You ever get the feeling that the universe is just plain old fucking with you?

Tonight I met the most metal chick this side of the girl from GWAR. She's seen, in concert, every freakin' metal and hair metal band ever. It's almost scary. Where was this chick when I was in 8th grade?

Where?!?!?!

People sometimes ask questions like "what's your dream job?"
I now have an answer to that question:

Boobienaut.

It's shorter and a bit more tasteful that "Fantastically well-paid judge for the thrice-weekly Which Hot Girl Gives the Best Head? contest."

Things I came up with last night that, apparently, make reverendstompy nearly laugh/cough himself to death 900 miles away.

Cocktoberfest. This one needs no explanation.

Butter Mustache. This was a typo. It was supposed to be "better moustache" as in "Stalin was less of a cock becuse he had a...." Regardles, it sent the good reverendstompy into gales of ( Read more... )

If I ever get subjected to some awful experience so terrible it caused a catastrophic mental collapse resulting in multiple personality disorder, I suspect one of the personalities will be a thirteen year old girl who lives in the eighties.  I base this on three simple facts:

1. I have a lamentable fondness for games such as truth or dare and "I never ( Read more... )

I have a date tonight.

Who wants to bet on possible outcomes?

Be aware, any bet that includes any kind of long term relationship pays well due to its unlikelihood.

Well, this one didn't come as much of a surprise.


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Sometimes this song come on itunes or on my iPod. It's a song of which I'm very fond and which is not known by very many people at all ( Read more... )