What I instinctively want to say to the leaders of the Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Saints is: What the f, dudes? You took a really awesome idea and fucked it up. What's with all the abuse and rape and dressing your women like Victorian chambermaids? Not sexy. When I take a step back, I understand that polygamy, in the way I prefer to ( Read more... )

I'm creating a new religious identity called J-theism. It's like Judaism with all the matzo balls and guilt but none of the believing in God. Go ahead and tell me that Jewish atheists already exist in abundance. That holds no water with me because I'm the motherfucker who decided to replace the A with a J.

Right now I'm watching the Lady Terps ball it up against the Stanford Cardinal for a spot in the Final Four. This is seriously the most exciting college basketball game I've seen in a while. The two teams must be shooting about 80% combined and with less than ten minutes gone, they are both on pace to eclipse 100 points. Unfortunately, Stanford's ( Read more... )

So I think maybe I should make a kid. It must be fun having complete control over someone else's life.

Apparently I have AIDS because my immune system might as well be nonexistent. I picked up an upper respiratory infection on the last day of my antibiotics regimen for strep throat. I feel like shit. See you later.

Check out my new (yellow) form of green transportation--a ridiculously underpriced fixed gear bicycle that I found on craigslist. Beautiful new components including black racing wheels and oldschool drop bars which I flipped up bullhorn style.

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I wish the presidential campaign overlapped with Hanukkah. I would make gelt with Barack Obama's profile in relief and my slogan would be "Change we can eat."

I hate pineapple.

Every Sunday when I get my New York Times, I open up to the back of the Week In Review to read the opinions including those of Sunday regular, Frank Rich. I see Rich as a similar figure to the muckraking filmmaker Michael Moore. Both are entertaining and both advocate political positions I tend to agree with. But the routes they take to those ( Read more... )

Apparently, strep throat can cause a full body rash.