How is everyone? Give me a call sometime. Life is great. 408-225-5646. Lets chill.

I was sober today and I just cried. I was forced to deal with my emotions more head on. Like feeling them in the first place. I wish she'd call. My life is really nothing anymore.

So to recap the past month. Recorded song for album. Got a drummer. Found out ex was already with someone like only a month after we broke up. Had some pretty depressing weeks there. New drummer is a good friend now days. Sort of tried to date people but don't feel I'm ready for that. Layed down drum tracks yesterday. So like that's 7 songs to go ( Read more... )

Yeah. So now I'm getting over her. Like. There's nothing I can do to change anything. So I might as well get on with it. I can do better. I can accomplish more. She'll realize she missed the boat. I'm not going to turn around to pick her up either. Fuck that. She's proven to be a horrible person. Kind of wierd that this is happening now. Ah well ( Read more... )

I really don't want to play this whole , needy , clingy, desperate ex-boyfriend role anymore. I've grown weary of it. I do want her back and all...but i'm losing my ideals. I need to be stronger god dammit. If she really loved me she will call me . That's it. I'm out of the game. Nothing I can do. I keep thinking there is something I can. But there ( Read more... )

I just read my whole journal. Interesting. I'm mailing Laura a cd of the songs I wrote about her...for her. She did end up calling and it did seem like a miracle. althoug now. I don't know. Things seem to be getting more and more less desirable. I hope these songs speak better than any letter could. I hope she says "lets start our life together ( Read more... )

July. Was a fucking blur. I think this month will be one too. Although out of the blur I have written many a song. I have realized that. I wish Tanaya would call me. Not sure why she stopped talking to me. I wish Laura would call me ...but that is on a whole different level. I don't expect a call or anything from her anymore. If I do get one then ( Read more... )

Been really into lyrics lately. I've been so apathetic yet so motivated right now. I'm motivated to change. I'm motivated with music, yet, I sleep all day and can't find the energy to be a fruitful human in the society sense. I miss Laura. You realize stupid shit you thought about at the time was just stupid shit hahaha I can't really get into ( Read more... )

Not wanting to believe it's all the same. That the outcome is a vast period of months and years wondering what it would be like if it didn't play out to the cinematic ending. Endings are seldom cinematic in my life or anyone elses. I'm no John Cusack and she's no ...well you know what I mean. Not one to cry at nights for hours on end. Yet here I am ( Read more... )

Some say there will come a day ( Read more... )