I am a deeply flawed human being. I mean, everybody is, and I’m sure there are people out there more flawed than me. Of course the word flawed implies that there is a perfect ideal of what it is to be people, which is entirely subjective, and already I’m getting off track.  The point is, I got problems. Today’s entry is going to focus on one of ( Read more... )

There was another secret entry before this one.  It’s very dark and depressing. and long. The short of it is I didn’t get the most recent job I interviewed for, and I’ve spent the last week being very sad.  But I don’t want to be sad anymore, so I need to do something about it. The way I see it, I have three options ( Read more... )

One day in the future, I’ll be dead. That is my fate as a mortal being. While I still have more than half my life to go (hopefully), I don’t really have anything like a will. Nor have I really told anyone what I’d like to be done with my body when I’m dead. I don’t really have a will because I don’t really own anything of real value yet, nor do I ( Read more... )

So I mentioned at the beginning of the year that I might write some locked entries, and today is the first of those. It’s not a planed series.  It’s just that I’m not comfortable with “anybody” reading it, but I’d be fine with a select few. Since I’m STILL using live journal for the initial postings, if you are a friend and have an account there, ( Read more... )

So last entry, I off-handedly remakes that I’m doing a sober month, so I’m going to write about that this week because I can’t think of anything else to write about. Well, I CAN, but I’m in no condition right now to write about those things since I’m still having the sleep problems I was having last week due to lack of work/consistent schedule. So ( Read more... )

I had trouble getting to sleep last night. I don’t know why. I was overcome by feelings of nervousness, with not reason behind it.  So proceed to go downstairs and try and fall asleep on the conch while watching TV.  Except the nerviness didn’t abate, so I proceeded to gorge myself. I just kept eating and eating, and I didn’t know why.  I knew I ( Read more... )

It’s that time of year again.  Time to write an entry that’s basically state of my live journal.  I’ll be honest, I gave seriously contemplation to just quitting writing these things.  I’ve been later and later, and I end up seeing it more and more of a chore than therapeutic recently. But I also see some benefits to it too. For example, I tend to ( Read more... )

I had a big long entry for this week written up already, but then two things happened, and now I’m in no mood to post that entry.  Maybe I’ll post it though when I’m feeling better. I got sick late on Friday, so I’ve spent most of the weekend in bed in a half awake state feeling like shit.  Not sure if I’ll call in sick to work tomorrow.  I don’t ( Read more... )

I didn’t have a name for this year when it began because I didn’t know what to expect.  But now that it’s nearly done, I think the most apt name for it would be the year of failure.  I had ONE thing that I wanted to accomplish this year, and I did not accomplish it. It wasn’t for lack of trying. But when I get right down to it, I failed. Without ( Read more... )

So I thought by now things would be slowing up at the seasonal job, and it has, sort of. In the last two weeks, I worked everyday for Sundays and last Tuesday. Think I got overtime the first week in December, but last week I was 3 1/2 hours under. Though I’m on the schedule everyday this week, I don’t expect to work all of them, but we’ll see. I’ve ( Read more... )