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So everyone was telling me I should watch The Last Samurai, that it's the perfect movie for me and all this stuff. So I watched it, I ended the movie with tears in my eyes, a first, unless I remember falsely. I was very deeply touched by the movie. The movie's meaning touched me more than anything though, the storyline was pretty much irrelevant ( Read more... )

Yes so I have severe mental problems, I probably need to see a psychiotrist. Yes Wing-Sze I'm moving along with my life, sure, but it doesn't seem to have helped my depression much, course it may just be that I haven't talked to you in so long, course I haven't been on ICQ in awhile so it's probably my own fault. Anyway I'm on edge right now, ( Read more... )

I was reading Kathy's livejournal the other day and it made me think I had lost a part of myself. I did, just not as much of it as I thought. She wrote about a flower, and her emotions at it's blooms, she was thrilled by it, thrilled by life. I thought I had lost my reverance for life, lost my care for it. In truth, I only lost my appreciation ( Read more... )

LOL, you know, I don't think I have the slightest idea what I'm doing, in life or in anything else. Need someone to guide me I think. I have all these crazy ideas, all these ingenious plans, but I just chaotically jump around doing random crap. Man I need some direction in my life. Maybe soon, maybe soon I'll gain a direction. My friends see ( Read more... )

This is what I call the vicious, slashing sword dance that I do when I'm upset. I really don't know how I haven't killed myself doing this. Basically I just slash my swords in wild anger, there is no technique, no patterns, just wild swinging at my full strength, sometimes I even throw myself to the ground by the force of my swings. Hehe, I ( Read more... )

Jessica: "What's wrong ( Read more... )

My muscles straing to their limits, the razor sharp steel of my blades whiz through the air as I slash then in impossible patterns that I sometimes can't even follow myself. I begin moving out of instict, reacting far faster than my brain can think, the edges of my swords miss my arms by inches, they whiz past my legs, my face. My feet move, ( Read more... )

Sometimes, I feel like the most romantic guy in the world. That's the guy I want to be, the guy I enjoy being. But when she hurts me, I die inside, i become emotionless and cold, I shrug off those people who think themselves my friends, and I avoid those who really are my friends. I only feel hate at those times, with a deep pain mixed in every ( Read more... )

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