Someday I hope you'll understand the strength it took to give you up. The day you understand that, is the day you finally understand how much I love you. Have a good life, be very happy, very very happy. Be happy for me, happy in a way I'm just not capable of.

pain

Closing in, as always, delayed but not stopped. Is this what it feels like to be slowly going insane?

You know, things never turn out the way you plan them, or the way you desire. I'm 23 years old and I'm still just completely clueless. At least I realize it though. These poor saps, I see them going around day to day looking as if they are actually accomplishing something. She and I know better, we work towards the best future we can manage, ( Read more... )

I scared myself quite a bit just now. I was reading some livejournal posts I wrote only within the last six months. Not only do I not remember writing them, but if I hadn't known that I was logged in I would not have realized they were written by me. Strange, do I know myself so little, do I change so much? wtf is going on here?

Dunno what's going on with my body lately, having little aches and pains all the time, my shoulder, my arms, my legs, my neck. And then today, my freakin knee, it popped while i was just walking and now it's swelling up and i can't bend or extend it properly. Just what's happening to me anyway? Ah, I guess it isn't too bad, I have everything I ( Read more... )

I don't know if it's my destiny to know only pain. I've missed a lot of oportunities in my life that I should have grabbed ahold of. My life hasn't turned out at all like I hoped it would when I was a child. I've found a lot of the things I hoped to find, but there is a lot of unexpected pain as well. I'm at least greatful for the happiness I ( Read more... )

Well.. it's 7 days until I see Wing-Sze....AHHHHHH. it's ok...it's ok, calm... Alright, this is gonna be crazy, I'm getting way too worked up, gotta stay calm and make sure I get everything ready before my flight, clothing needs to be washed and packed, gotta get to my mom's and trade my gamecube for her nintendo for awhile, gotta stay focused on ( Read more... )

After posting that first dream I went back to sleep, only to have another dream! This dream had a single similarity, there were two people in it whom i didn't know, but I knew in the dream very well. I remember one was a black haired woman and the other was a man, but I can not remember anything else about them. We were escaping from some ( Read more... )

I had such a strange dream last night. It started with Wing-Sze and I, discussing something very similar to a RL discussion we have on a regular basis. She was saying she wanted to see me soon, I was telling her I'll be coming on the 15th. After a short conversation with her, I went to school...it was Hogwarts!!! After signing up for all my ( Read more... )