Woops...

Mar 27, 2003 21:32

That should have been private. I just had a "Mom Meltdown ( Read more... )

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Comments 23

majesticlady911 March 27 2003, 19:01:28 UTC
hugs honey....I hope the rest of your night goes better

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Re: Thanks! placid_chaos March 28 2003, 05:14:27 UTC
It is going to be a tough week next week as well. They don't have too many teachers in this area that have worked with autism. They have a SPED teacher substituting while the regular teacher goes to conferences for Aspergers all next week as well. Taylor goes completely off the wall with any change. All that happened yesterday was that, they took her out a different door and walked a different way to the bus! That was it! She was all off after that.

Some nights I really miss having my mother. I would have called her last night, I'll tell you! It seems that, if the kids are good, they are all good. When they are bad, they are all bad. No one takes turns!

She was up until 1 AM--and now with the sun coming up earlier, she was up at 5.

I can't wait to see how she comes home today--sob--sob---

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Re: Thanks! majesticlady911 March 28 2003, 06:54:14 UTC
I do understand what you are going through. a very good friend of mind also has a daughter who is autistic and she goes through the same things with teachers that you have been the past few days. I think it's wonderful the regular teacher goes to conferences and classes to be better prepared for the children, but I do think better preperations should be made so it doesn't disrupt the children as much.
hugs honey...I'm thinking about you

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birdbrainmummy March 27 2003, 19:02:32 UTC
I honestly don't know how you do it all. I really don't. I would be going bonkers if I was in your boat.

Do you get any help at all from anyone? Does anyone volunteer to help with the kids?

Speaking of which, I really like your LJ layout. Did you do it all yourself?

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Re: Nope! placid_chaos March 28 2003, 05:20:48 UTC
Tom isn't here all week. He comes during the day but, the kids aren't here. He has never been the type to be involved. I have always done all of the IEP, all of the discipline and all of the upbringing of the kids. He is basically just a paycheck ( ... )

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Re: Nope! birdbrainmummy March 28 2003, 05:36:40 UTC
I think there are volunteers at the Autism society that help people out in your situation. Have you checked that out?

You are not whining at all.

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Oops--I forgot! placid_chaos March 28 2003, 05:37:12 UTC
I make graphics and design web pages. I designed a site for childloss when I lost my 4th child. It is another 'sanity outlet' that I have. When I need my mind to be completely off of life, I design graphics and feel better.

This computer has actually kept me 'relatively' sane. Notice how I say--RELATIVELY! LOL

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Honestly woodspryte March 27 2003, 19:24:17 UTC
You deserve a medal for dealing with all that daily and on your own. You are amazing and a mommy meltdown is inevitable.

I don't think I could handle it like you do. I'd be in a straight jacket somewhere.

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Re: Honestly placid_chaos March 28 2003, 05:25:19 UTC
Sometimes, just a bowl of ice cream and salty chips help! Last night, that was how I dealt. Of course, I look like I deal with it that way too!

There is this lady in town that, has a daughter who has been in a vegetative state for 18 years. This woman has cared for this girl, day in and day out for 18 years--her husband left after 5 years of deal with it--she has 3 other children as well.

I feel pretty selfish when I meltdown like last night and think of her. The woman has to pay nurses to come in, just to go to the grocery store.

I can't even fathom it...

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2mermaids March 27 2003, 19:42:06 UTC
Big Hugs coming to you.:O) I hope you can get some rest tonight or just to relax. I would of had a major meltdown years ago. Your strength baffles me.

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Not much sleep but-- placid_chaos March 28 2003, 05:30:24 UTC
After I gave her some books at midnight, she finally settled down. I am NOT looking forward to her coming home from school today--it takes her a week or more to get into any routine change. With the new 'temper fits' that she is taking, I have to watch her pretty well. She tends to go at Colin, who is so easy to push around (so happy-go-lucky). She pinches and pushes really hard. She throws things too!

The sun coming up early isn't helping either. I really should buy shades for her room instead of blinds. The sun comes up where her room is, so she gets it full strength in the morning! UGH!

I need a damn drink!!!! LOL

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Re: Not much sleep but-- 2mermaids March 28 2003, 06:05:21 UTC
It's too bad her teacher couldn't take the training on a weekend or at night. I would never leave my class. If my principal wanted us to be trained in something I went after school. It was more work for me, but worth it because all kids lose it when someone new walks in. It's a lot of work to get them back on track.
The sun isn't helping me either. It hits my sons room, and when the sun comes up, he is UP!!!!!

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Re: It's a major conference during the day.. placid_chaos March 28 2003, 06:13:12 UTC
If I had a babysitter, I would be at the same conference! It is a conference going on here in Mass--during the day only. It is about every aspect of Autism, new techniques in teaching, Aspergers, developmental tools that are being implimented in classrooms and at home, etc. They have some great speakers that have been working with autism for many years.

So, I can't blame her for that. Many of the EI people are going as well--that is how I knew about it. I am still closely in touch with our former EI person--she was the educator for the three kids!

The new techniques really interests me. I want to open a school or daycare, just for children in the autism spectrum..sigh...Some day I will have more time to do these things.

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crisis_averted March 27 2003, 19:43:01 UTC
Oh you poor thing! *hugs* Cripes! I think anyone would've had a meltdown! I give you so much credit.

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Thankfully, it isn't nightly! placid_chaos March 28 2003, 05:34:37 UTC
If this happened nightly, I would be on the edge of a bridge preparing to jump. It is lucky that, I am afraid of heights!

I never give myself credit so, I would say I am not as strong as I appear. It is just one of the situations where, there is nothing else that can be done and I have no choice. You just do it because there is nothing else that you can do.

I am very glad I didn't give up journaling all together. If I had shut down my other diary and didn't start up anywhere else, I would have lost it last night completely! I don't vent out loud--I even come down here to my basement office to cry. I try to never cry in front of the kids when I am overwhelmed. I grew up believing everything was my fault so, I don't want them to think that either.

Just writing that one line last night helped, as I blubbered down here for a few minutes.

Thank you!

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Re: Thankfully, it isn't nightly! crisis_averted March 28 2003, 06:47:17 UTC
You are such a good mommy!

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