ive given up on being happy and just grown quite find of the idea of not being a complete and total wreck. i smile and try to pretend that it once had meaning. im ok. its really not as bad as it sounds. ive just come to terms with the fact that something will always go wrong or i will fuck it up. i saw julie b tonight. she told me billy was doing ( Read more... )

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i want to move. or just be gone 5/6 of the year... so 10 months ish.

tired.
new life.
new shuttle bus.
finally done recording.
lady friend in the picture.
new phone but still same number.
hopefully now things might pic up a little.
city friends are in mexico & texas. come home.
all of you.
olive juice.

last night changed me.
i still dont know what to think of the whole thing.
im real tired.

so the music is finally done. its online if you have a few min.
www.myspace.com/nineteenninetyfour
my birthday is finally over.
i turned down free saki today bc of my awesome hangover.
thanks to ty, cakes, and tra la, i dont really remember making hotdogs... not at all.

as i look i see the cracks below
and i can see myself fall into them
and i see what ive been running from
i just dont understand how you could
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ive seen lovers dancing in windows.

im tired of a certain someone saying how bad we fucked up without mentioning anything that he had or hadnt done himself. so fuck that. that whole thing about 1000s of dollars being stolen... youre damn lucky i have people keeping people from saying what i wanted to say. i cant fucking take it. i want to explode. im sorry if things didnt work out. ( Read more... )

i am very happy right now.

to those of you who dont know ty from we are only fiction, you need to. here is a response from an email i sent him today about the lack of stickball excitement in the south... (hint say it with a brooklyn feel to it ( Read more... )