i avoid writing when there's too much shit crashing down around my head. i relapsed this day last year on crystal meth. i've been a rollercoaster since. catchin' high rides to paradise for the last twelve months, over and over... i want more than this. i am lonely. i am scared. i want to be in love. i am in love. with a man who hasn't even thought ( Read more... )

that first moment my eyes discovered his beauty floored my vision senseless; i couldn't think straight for months and now i find myself waking up all bare-skin and tangled limbs in his bedmost afternoons. every time i lay my eyes on him it leaves me just as stunned as the first time over and over and over. i can't believe he is mine. after weeks, ( Read more... )

i wish my temperature wasn't so elevated that my thought-process and word composition both have to suffer, too. i suppose this is what i get for getting lifted in denton with one contagious little woman everyday ( Read more... )

there once existed a series of moments in time when i questioned my own little lifetime of ambitions, intentions, and plans for the future all because of a charasmatic musician, a father, a best friend.. a stranger. things were rough for me that december and then- cue dramatic pause- i see this young man on stage with a guitar and god, talk about ( Read more... )

my most silent dispostion has been a dynamic whirlwind of "adverse nostalgia vs. onward marching" since the end of january, but this sinking feeling in my stomach tells me that the fate of such a catastrophic battle may have already been decided for me ( Read more... )

something isn't right. i'm keeping mental logs and lists of all the faces of my friends who have died in the last two years, you know, since cameron.. the first. i am constantly thinking of the different ways they went; a twine noose, speedboat, heroin, xanax and methadone.. mostly just heroin. i'm up to eight now. eight people that i used to call ( Read more... )

something about tonight was like my rebirth ( Read more... )

me, me, me.
my bones are getting lost,
getting old, getting tired.
bones, floating like sound,
drifting, shifting.
me, me, me.
growing up, finally,
after all this time.
i sat with my songbird the other night, all night.. and how i've missed her, the real her. she held my hand, we watched a series of recently rediscovered images of our mama bird ( Read more... )

from the moment i saw him i refered to him as "my husband" and knew that in due time he and i would be a "we." that was over four years ago. sure enough, after knowing eachother for a matter of weeks we were madly in love like kids at sixteen are. he was my first everything and for years, my only thing. in the last year a lot has changed, he moved ( Read more... )

writing seems to have left my very soul ( Read more... )