So I have found someone, who now is officially my boyfriend. Yes, I'm very happy with him, but his company does not help my insecurities at all, I hate when he touches me, I just think 'oh god, he probably thinks I am the most fattest thing in the world right now!'. He says the most beautiful things to me, and makes me wonder if he's lieing, if ( Read more... )

Not much has changed, I'm still deep in thought and heart with him ( Read more... )

Today was the same ( Read more... )

*things on my mind ( Read more... )

Everything is a blur, through my eyes nothing makes any sense anymore ( Read more... )

looking in the mirror
"this is why they hate you"
stare into my face
"you are so ugly"
looking at my legs
"your parents stare with such disgrace"
looking at my arms
"you are so ugly"
looking at my stomach
"no one will ever love you"
looking at my back
"everyone will leave you"
looking in the mirror
"you are a failure!"

whats there to say anymore, I'm kinda of at that point where I honestly don't care what happens next. I havent eaten much in the past two days, and the feeling towards the starvation is actually becoming really numb. I hate that I feel so empty emotionally but I'm addicted to it physically. I wonder how long it'll take for people to notice the ( Read more... )

I wonder when people talk to me, they feel that everything I say is fake ( Read more... )

I feel as though the walls are caving in, the sadness is getting stronger, and there's nothing I can do. I should be happy, in pictures I look so happy, when I'm at school they think I'm happy, I try to talk but nothing can be expressed, no words can describe what I feel ( Read more... )

His memories still haunt every thought in my mind, I see him occasionally and my heart still beats faster when i do. He took me by suprise, I didnt think I could learn to love him as much he did, but little would I know that it would be the other around, him with my hear and me in tears. I hate to admit, yes I still do love him, and yes it still ( Read more... )