[Locked against her friends and loved ones, PC and NPC] (aka - pretty much anyone she's talked to)

[please_see_me]

You know, I don't think it's fair, being a Children's Angel

Comments

[weaponof_choice]

I know what it's like. To have something given to you you didn't ask for and all the responsibility that comes with having it.

And I know what it's like to really mess things up when you didn't mean to too.

I'm not an angel or anything so maybe I don't really know what it's like for you. I just know what they were like for me. Maybe I sort of understand.

I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm sorry. I know it must be hard for you. And... if I can help, I'd like to.

[please_see_me]

I don't know if there's anything anyone CAN do. Unless you can fix people who are broken.

I don't think anybody can do that.

I wish I could just forget

[weaponof_choice]

I can't fix broken people. Not really.

It doesn't stop me trying.

[nothingsodivine]

Okay. Uncle Descant is going to tell you a story... That sounded a lot creepier than it was supposed to, but hear me out here

[please_see_me]

What good is staying when everyone I love keeps LEAVING me?

I don't want my calling to control me, it's just hard 'cause I can't do half the things I wanted to because people can't SEE me. Just... I turned sixteen and it really hurt and then I had these WINGS out of nowhere and nobody could see me and then I met Robin and I came here. So okay, I'll just start again.

Except that every time I think maybe I've managed to start again, people LEAVE or disappear and I just want to go home but I don't HAVE a home anymore and I'm just a kid and I don't know what to DO

[nothingsodivine]

Then don't let them leave.

Yeah, I get it. People die, people fall off the face of the earth, but people also hide, and that's one thing you don't let people you care about do. You stand in the doorway, you threaten to break down doors, but you don't let them leave. Even if they fight you, even if you break each other, even everything looks like it's going to go to hell, you don't let them leave you.

Home's relative, kid. It's not the place you live. It's the people you can't bear to be without.

[please_see_me]

I don't know how. It's not like they tell me when they're going to leave, just all the sudden they're gone and what if all I do is make them more miserable by making them stay?

I couldn't do that to them.

[sensi_doctor]

Not to contradict my hero (BECAUSE HE REALLY IS REALLY AWESOME AND ONCE HE GAVE ME A STUFFED ANIMAL), but I think you need ice cream and chick flicks and to not be okay for a while! And I really want to hug you.

God, I'm such a girl

[please_see_me]

I like ice cream and chick flicks.

[sensi_doctor]

If you still want to get away, you can come over and hang out with me and my boyfriend for awhile! He won't mind! He likes chick flicks, too!

And we can have ice cream! And cookie dough.

Not that going over to strangers places usually is such a good idea. I swear I'm not a creepster or anything! I'd pinkie swear, but that's hard when there are no pinkies. Only words.

[please_see_me]

Maybe.

Who's your boyfriend?

[allmydiredreams]

Everything comes to an end.
---people leave
---people die.

The strong survive it
--the weak don't;

except when they do-- & become the strong.

Finding yourself is the key
--unlocks the between-the-two.

If you find your center none can take it from you
if you keep it spinning~~
solid.

Keep loving.
(It hurts but it is alive.)
There will be people you can fix with it.

[please_see_me]

what if they're not here, though? The people I can fix.

what if I never find them?

[allmydiredreams]

don't let go--~~

Search for them.
Don't let them go unless it's right--

hang on.

[please_see_me]

i just can't. it's not right. If they want to leave, they have a right to. maybe it'll be better and maybe it won't and they'll come back to me, but

i can't stop them.

can't.

[Locked]

[calicoway]

i think we've got somethin in common then, yeah? Used to think i had a purpose (not exactly an honorable or important purpose), and then even that was taken from me. by my own doing really.

don't pretend. life's too short for pretending 'less it makes you happy to pretend.

speaking as someone who's been at that broken state, continuin to love her is sometimes all you can do. That and pushin' her sometimes. Tellin her that she's worth it. And that you don't care if you get hurt cause it's all a part of it. Life, which isn't worth anythin' without love.

if it weren't for the people who loved me, i'd be in trouble now. i'm afraid to get close to anyone cause i can get 'em real sick or hurt on accident, but they never let me get too far.

[Locked]

[please_see_me]

she says she doesn't want me to tell her that, 'cause it makes her feel more guilty for hurting me and letting me down. So I... I CAN'T, 'cause I don't want to make it worse, but she's worth it and amazing and wonderful and I want to tell her that over and over and over forever until she believes it.

I gotta pretend. at least around the people I care about. 'cause it makes me more miserable when I make them upset by being miserable, so... so I gotta keep pretending 'cause at least it's not as bad as that.

even though I don't wanna.

...I'm Dusty.

[Locked]

[calicoway]

You should find someone you can be miserable around. Otherwise it'll eat you alive, darlin. The misery.

i tried runnin. didn't work out so well for me. ended up right back with the people i love. more sick than i had been if i'd went to them straight away. not sayin it's easy, yeah? don't want to see you go through that, too.

Hello, Dusty. i'm luke. sorry to hear about your friend. And your own pain, too. Wish i could help make it better, but turns out i'm not so good at helpin' either.

[Locked]

[please_see_me]

most've them are more broken than me. and Adrian tries and I really appreciate it but it's hard 'cause he knows what he's doing in the world and he thinks I should still try to do the things I was gonna before, just differently, but I don't...

my music is the most... it's where i go to be broken or angry or happy. i play my cello, i play Bach and Beethoven and Mozart and Vivaldi and Brahms. but if i'm a children's angel, it's gotta be for a reason, and I can't just go and play music for angels and stuff because... what if I could be helping people, not just playing pretty songs for their dinner parties?

I don't... I don't know if he understands that.

So I'm left with nobody and

it's just hard.