Fanfiction - Always loving you.
Title: Always loving you. (Sequel to 'I'm so sorry, I still love you')
Author: Ritsu (crazy_otaku911)
Pairing: Takaki X Hasshi // former! Takaki X Daiki.
Rating: PG
Summary: Hasshi explains to Daiki why he stole his boyfriend and tells Takaki what really happened when they broke up.
Disclaimer: This work is purely fiction.
Warnings: Fluff?
A/N: Beta'd by shimizumiki <3
This is is the sequel for I'm so sorry, I still love you, since several people asked for a better ending. Enjoy!
When Hasshi went to corner Daiki, he knew it wasn't going to be pretty. Hasshi had stolen Daiki's, his own ex-boyfriend, Takaki Yuya from him. Most people weren't very receptive to such things and Daiki was no exception. It took Hasshi forever to get him alone and without Yuya knowing about it, but finally he got lucky. They were alone in a back hallway, Daiki heading back to JUMP's dressing room.
“Oi!” Hasshi ran up to the other, moving to keep them in the hallway. “I need to talk to you.” He told the rather stunned JUMP boy. Hasshi expected the next reaction and sidestepped the punch Daiki sent flying his way, moving to push him up against a wall.
Daiki was furious and struggling, but Hasshi was nearly twice his size, so restraining him was rather easy. Hasshi actually didn't mind tussling with Daiki except that bruises on his face would do him no good.
“Stop that.” He hissed at Daiki, frowning. Daiki merely responded with a rather obscene hand gesture. Frustrated, Hasshi raked a hand through his hair, eying the smaller boy, who seemed more intent on cursing his name then trying to beat the crap out of him now.
Honestly, why was he doing this again? Oh, because he had a conscience, one that had decided to speak up after he'd lured his lover away from his current relationship. He should have known better then to do that to to a friend like Daiki, but the sight Yuya's tears had broken down the wall he'd built around his heart.
That wasn't quite why he was here. He didn't know why telling Daiki anything would help, but maybe it would. He wasn't sure, he just knew he wouldn't feel right until he did it.
“I wanted to tell you something...” He began, silencing Daiki with a hand. “No, I really need to tell you...” With that, he launched into his tale.
*~*~*
Yuya curled up on the couch, head resting in Hasshi's lap, humming softly. He was tired, but spending a few extra moments with Hasshi was enough to stay up for. Besides, wasn't this resting? Hasshi had his fingers gently running through his hair and he let out a slight purr of appreciation.
Despite the smile and the stroking, Hasshi felt tense to Yuya. Flicking his eye open, Yuya made a more concerned noise. That got a laugh from his boyfriend. “Yuuyan, use your words.” Hasshi scolded lightly, leaning down to kiss Yuya's nose.
Wrinkling his face slightly, Yuya shifted so he could snuggled against Hasshi's chest. “What's wrong?” He asked quietly. “You seem...upset?”
Hasshi just held him for several long moments before speaking. “Yuuyan...how come you never ask why we broke up?”
The question was so out of the blue, Yuya was flustered, unable to answer immediately. Flushing uncomfortably, he hid his face. “Don't wanna talk about it...” He muttered, which was the truth. Yuya had been devastated when Hasshi had told him they couldn't date anymore, refusing to explain at all. Even now, just thinking about it made his chest tighten.
“Then why did you come back to me?” Hasshi asked, stroking his hair again. “Even though you had Daiki-kun?”
Another question Yuya didn't really have an answer for. Things such as love were beyond Yuya's understanding. He couldn't explain why, except that suddenly Hasshi had walked back into his life and he'd fallen in love. Why he'd let it happen even though Hasshi had been the one who broke it off was beyond him as well. He just burrowed into Hasshi's arms, making a soft noise, his 'I really don't want to talk about this' one.
Hasshi seemed to be partially amused and partially thoughtful, kissing the top of Yuya's head. “Well...I'm going to tell you.”
Yuya lay there, listening as Hasshi began his story, the same one he'd told Daiki. Not that Yuya knew Hasshi had spoken to him at all.
“It all started back when you debuted. All sparkles and spotlights and attention...we broke up a few months later, right?” Hasshi didn't really wait for responses and Yuya didn't really give him any. “I'm not going to lie..one of my problems was jealous. You had the one thing we were all working towards...But I got over that, quickly. It wasn't JUMP that made me...It was you.”
Yuya didn't even know how to respond to that.
“You were exhausting yourself, Yuuyan.” Hasshi went on, sounding sad. “I felt so selfish, asking for more of your time when you were spreading yourself too thin.”
Yuya opened his mouth, about to protest how that was hardly a reason to just leave him like that, but Hasshi went on. “And then I went to see you one day...and you were crying on Yabu-kun.” Clearing his throat, Hasshi chewed on his lip. “I guess...I dunno. If you couldn't even come crying to me, what good was I to you?” Hasshi asked softly. “I couldn't be there to help you, every time we spent time together, you struggled so hard to smile and yet, for me, you'd act like it was all okay.”
“I hated it, really...” Hasshi admitted, Yuya's mind barely being able to process this all. “It all felt like it was falling apart, you were falling apart. And yet you'd put up this wall between the two of us, pretending it was okay...and you'd go crying to Yabu whenever you needed it. Not me....”
Yuya remembered back to those days. The struggling, the feeling of failure, the exhaustion. His debuting days had been hell, to be honest, and yes, he'd cried many a time to Yabu. “You were only 14, Hasshi...” He protested softly. He hadn't wanted to burden the younger boy with his problems.
“I know, I know.” Hasshi pulled him closer. “But I wanted to be the only one you needed...and it felt like you were slipping away. I felt like it was for the best if I just let you go...you wouldn't have to deal with me and spending time with me or worrying about if I was still happy dating you, because you kept on asking that....”
By now, they both had tears in their eyes. It may not have seemed very significant to anyone else, but to hear these words was both heartbreaking and beautiful to Yuya.
“I wanted you to be happy...and you didn't seem happy with me.” Hasshi went on. “I gave up on it, since after a while...you got better, you moved on...I was busy, you were busy, we were okay without each other...and then I heard you were dating Daiki...” Hasshi went on. “And I knew I just was never going to be the one, because I'd already given you up...but I couldn't stop thinking about you..” Hasshi smiled tightly. “And then that day came...I don't even remember why I was there, but there you were, crying...and all I could think about was how I couldn't hold you when you cried before...” Hasshi leaned down, kissing Yuya's forehead and hugging him close.
“But I can now.”
Yuya inwardly thought it was ridiculously impossible to love Hasshi more then he already did. But the more Hasshi spoke, the more he did. It hurt to hear and yet it also released a few of the fears he'd harbored for several years. He crawled up into Hasshi's lap, throwing his arms around him and hugging him tightly. “I'm so sorry...” Yuya whispered, cheek resting against Hasshi's. “God, I love you...Hasshi, I love you.”
“I love you too.” Was all Hasshi could manage, holding Yuya, his eyes closed. His mind flashed back to earlier that day, during the little while he'd spent talking with Daiki.
Hasshi just shook his head, scuffing his shoes on the linoleum. “I just wanted you to understand...I'm sorry, I truly am...” But he decided to be honest, even if this hurt more. “I'm not sorry for taking him away...But I'm sorry for hurting you.”
Daiki rubbed his eyes, as if tired, closing them for a long moment before speaking. “Do you know how long...it took him to stop crying over you?” He asked finally. No anger, no hatred...Just an emotion that resembled bitterness and sadness but didn't quite fit either. “Do you know how long it took me to get him to say yes to a date after what you did?”
Hasshi chewed his lip and just let Daiki go on, knowing that if he had been allowed to speak his mind, Daiki did as well. “You hurt him. You hurt him so deep...and yet he still fell for you again.” Daiki's fists clenched. “I should have known...should have known he'd never truly get over you...but...”
The tears came and Hasshi watched, not knowing what to do.
“I knew we weren't right....” Daiki continued on, wiping at his tears in annoyance. “I knew the fights were bad....he was too stupid, I was t-too jealous....but I wanted him. D-damn you....”
“I'm sorry...” Hasshi whispered, wondering if that would ever be enough.
Daiki looked up at him, his head craning because of how much taller. The sadness was near unbearable, but Daiki was somehow smiling as well. “Be...be careful with him...Okay?” Daiki bit his lip. “Be what I...what I wasn't, okay? I'll kill you if you hurt him again...”
Hasshi just stared at him for a moment before bowing. There weren't any words for either of them to say anymore...so soon they parted ways. Both walked tall and proud, despite the tears they had in eyes. Somehow they felt the torment that had haunted them for the last few weeks slowly ebb away. Both made a promise in their hearts, both felt a little older, a little smarter, and a little stronger.
Hasshi sat there, gazing down at the delicate features of Yuya's face. His boyfriend had fallen asleep a while ago and while Hasshi knew he should either sleep here or carry Yuya to bed, he couldn't quite bring himself to disturbing the other. He looked so beautiful, so sweet, so breathtaking.
Leaning down to ever so softly whisper in Yuya's ear, Hasshi smiled. “I love you, my angel.”
_____________________________________________________
A/N: What'cha think?
Author: Ritsu (crazy_otaku911)
Pairing: Takaki X Hasshi // former! Takaki X Daiki.
Rating: PG
Summary: Hasshi explains to Daiki why he stole his boyfriend and tells Takaki what really happened when they broke up.
Disclaimer: This work is purely fiction.
Warnings: Fluff?
A/N: Beta'd by shimizumiki <3
This is is the sequel for I'm so sorry, I still love you, since several people asked for a better ending. Enjoy!
When Hasshi went to corner Daiki, he knew it wasn't going to be pretty. Hasshi had stolen Daiki's, his own ex-boyfriend, Takaki Yuya from him. Most people weren't very receptive to such things and Daiki was no exception. It took Hasshi forever to get him alone and without Yuya knowing about it, but finally he got lucky. They were alone in a back hallway, Daiki heading back to JUMP's dressing room.
“Oi!” Hasshi ran up to the other, moving to keep them in the hallway. “I need to talk to you.” He told the rather stunned JUMP boy. Hasshi expected the next reaction and sidestepped the punch Daiki sent flying his way, moving to push him up against a wall.
Daiki was furious and struggling, but Hasshi was nearly twice his size, so restraining him was rather easy. Hasshi actually didn't mind tussling with Daiki except that bruises on his face would do him no good.
“Stop that.” He hissed at Daiki, frowning. Daiki merely responded with a rather obscene hand gesture. Frustrated, Hasshi raked a hand through his hair, eying the smaller boy, who seemed more intent on cursing his name then trying to beat the crap out of him now.
Honestly, why was he doing this again? Oh, because he had a conscience, one that had decided to speak up after he'd lured his lover away from his current relationship. He should have known better then to do that to to a friend like Daiki, but the sight Yuya's tears had broken down the wall he'd built around his heart.
That wasn't quite why he was here. He didn't know why telling Daiki anything would help, but maybe it would. He wasn't sure, he just knew he wouldn't feel right until he did it.
“I wanted to tell you something...” He began, silencing Daiki with a hand. “No, I really need to tell you...” With that, he launched into his tale.
*~*~*
Yuya curled up on the couch, head resting in Hasshi's lap, humming softly. He was tired, but spending a few extra moments with Hasshi was enough to stay up for. Besides, wasn't this resting? Hasshi had his fingers gently running through his hair and he let out a slight purr of appreciation.
Despite the smile and the stroking, Hasshi felt tense to Yuya. Flicking his eye open, Yuya made a more concerned noise. That got a laugh from his boyfriend. “Yuuyan, use your words.” Hasshi scolded lightly, leaning down to kiss Yuya's nose.
Wrinkling his face slightly, Yuya shifted so he could snuggled against Hasshi's chest. “What's wrong?” He asked quietly. “You seem...upset?”
Hasshi just held him for several long moments before speaking. “Yuuyan...how come you never ask why we broke up?”
The question was so out of the blue, Yuya was flustered, unable to answer immediately. Flushing uncomfortably, he hid his face. “Don't wanna talk about it...” He muttered, which was the truth. Yuya had been devastated when Hasshi had told him they couldn't date anymore, refusing to explain at all. Even now, just thinking about it made his chest tighten.
“Then why did you come back to me?” Hasshi asked, stroking his hair again. “Even though you had Daiki-kun?”
Another question Yuya didn't really have an answer for. Things such as love were beyond Yuya's understanding. He couldn't explain why, except that suddenly Hasshi had walked back into his life and he'd fallen in love. Why he'd let it happen even though Hasshi had been the one who broke it off was beyond him as well. He just burrowed into Hasshi's arms, making a soft noise, his 'I really don't want to talk about this' one.
Hasshi seemed to be partially amused and partially thoughtful, kissing the top of Yuya's head. “Well...I'm going to tell you.”
Yuya lay there, listening as Hasshi began his story, the same one he'd told Daiki. Not that Yuya knew Hasshi had spoken to him at all.
“It all started back when you debuted. All sparkles and spotlights and attention...we broke up a few months later, right?” Hasshi didn't really wait for responses and Yuya didn't really give him any. “I'm not going to lie..one of my problems was jealous. You had the one thing we were all working towards...But I got over that, quickly. It wasn't JUMP that made me...It was you.”
Yuya didn't even know how to respond to that.
“You were exhausting yourself, Yuuyan.” Hasshi went on, sounding sad. “I felt so selfish, asking for more of your time when you were spreading yourself too thin.”
Yuya opened his mouth, about to protest how that was hardly a reason to just leave him like that, but Hasshi went on. “And then I went to see you one day...and you were crying on Yabu-kun.” Clearing his throat, Hasshi chewed on his lip. “I guess...I dunno. If you couldn't even come crying to me, what good was I to you?” Hasshi asked softly. “I couldn't be there to help you, every time we spent time together, you struggled so hard to smile and yet, for me, you'd act like it was all okay.”
“I hated it, really...” Hasshi admitted, Yuya's mind barely being able to process this all. “It all felt like it was falling apart, you were falling apart. And yet you'd put up this wall between the two of us, pretending it was okay...and you'd go crying to Yabu whenever you needed it. Not me....”
Yuya remembered back to those days. The struggling, the feeling of failure, the exhaustion. His debuting days had been hell, to be honest, and yes, he'd cried many a time to Yabu. “You were only 14, Hasshi...” He protested softly. He hadn't wanted to burden the younger boy with his problems.
“I know, I know.” Hasshi pulled him closer. “But I wanted to be the only one you needed...and it felt like you were slipping away. I felt like it was for the best if I just let you go...you wouldn't have to deal with me and spending time with me or worrying about if I was still happy dating you, because you kept on asking that....”
By now, they both had tears in their eyes. It may not have seemed very significant to anyone else, but to hear these words was both heartbreaking and beautiful to Yuya.
“I wanted you to be happy...and you didn't seem happy with me.” Hasshi went on. “I gave up on it, since after a while...you got better, you moved on...I was busy, you were busy, we were okay without each other...and then I heard you were dating Daiki...” Hasshi went on. “And I knew I just was never going to be the one, because I'd already given you up...but I couldn't stop thinking about you..” Hasshi smiled tightly. “And then that day came...I don't even remember why I was there, but there you were, crying...and all I could think about was how I couldn't hold you when you cried before...” Hasshi leaned down, kissing Yuya's forehead and hugging him close.
“But I can now.”
Yuya inwardly thought it was ridiculously impossible to love Hasshi more then he already did. But the more Hasshi spoke, the more he did. It hurt to hear and yet it also released a few of the fears he'd harbored for several years. He crawled up into Hasshi's lap, throwing his arms around him and hugging him tightly. “I'm so sorry...” Yuya whispered, cheek resting against Hasshi's. “God, I love you...Hasshi, I love you.”
“I love you too.” Was all Hasshi could manage, holding Yuya, his eyes closed. His mind flashed back to earlier that day, during the little while he'd spent talking with Daiki.
Hasshi just shook his head, scuffing his shoes on the linoleum. “I just wanted you to understand...I'm sorry, I truly am...” But he decided to be honest, even if this hurt more. “I'm not sorry for taking him away...But I'm sorry for hurting you.”
Daiki rubbed his eyes, as if tired, closing them for a long moment before speaking. “Do you know how long...it took him to stop crying over you?” He asked finally. No anger, no hatred...Just an emotion that resembled bitterness and sadness but didn't quite fit either. “Do you know how long it took me to get him to say yes to a date after what you did?”
Hasshi chewed his lip and just let Daiki go on, knowing that if he had been allowed to speak his mind, Daiki did as well. “You hurt him. You hurt him so deep...and yet he still fell for you again.” Daiki's fists clenched. “I should have known...should have known he'd never truly get over you...but...”
The tears came and Hasshi watched, not knowing what to do.
“I knew we weren't right....” Daiki continued on, wiping at his tears in annoyance. “I knew the fights were bad....he was too stupid, I was t-too jealous....but I wanted him. D-damn you....”
“I'm sorry...” Hasshi whispered, wondering if that would ever be enough.
Daiki looked up at him, his head craning because of how much taller. The sadness was near unbearable, but Daiki was somehow smiling as well. “Be...be careful with him...Okay?” Daiki bit his lip. “Be what I...what I wasn't, okay? I'll kill you if you hurt him again...”
Hasshi just stared at him for a moment before bowing. There weren't any words for either of them to say anymore...so soon they parted ways. Both walked tall and proud, despite the tears they had in eyes. Somehow they felt the torment that had haunted them for the last few weeks slowly ebb away. Both made a promise in their hearts, both felt a little older, a little smarter, and a little stronger.
Hasshi sat there, gazing down at the delicate features of Yuya's face. His boyfriend had fallen asleep a while ago and while Hasshi knew he should either sleep here or carry Yuya to bed, he couldn't quite bring himself to disturbing the other. He looked so beautiful, so sweet, so breathtaking.
Leaning down to ever so softly whisper in Yuya's ear, Hasshi smiled. “I love you, my angel.”
_____________________________________________________
A/N: What'cha think?