She's still beautiful... Still so beautiful it makes me cry. I miss her. I miss her like the stars might miss the sky if it just suddenly.. Suddenly left them. Perfection is within all of us. It is an opinion of others. You might find one person perfect, while others find them very much not. To me, Cynthia was perfect. So god damned perfect. Why? ( Read more... )

Driving down the road... At first I couldn't describe it. like... one emotion after the next.. Sadness, lack of anything at all.. thoughts... lots and lots of thoughts. So strange.. and then a fear. Some kind of fear that swept me like... Like an ocean.. And stuck with me. Like a hand staying pressed against my throat.. chest... a giant hand ( Read more... )

So hi. I had a great morning. Got wonderful things. Beautiful things.. good books to read. Yay! Call Brian... He doesn't feel good, woke up late, doesn't want to go to me-mar's and we had to dash off, so no time to get here and come with to Mama wink's house. Fine. I was just sad he felt sick... Whatever. Had a good time at mama wink's. It was ( Read more... )

Merry Christmas, everyone! I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas eve and Christmas day!

It's 7:45 on a thursday night and once again I am left alone.. Parents dont care that I am sick.. Brian is asleep... ANd I hate my life.... So fun... So yea, dad is practicing his music and I am sad... Because I can't have anyone who wants to stay up with me and make me feel better... Hell, Brian left me maybe an hour after we got home to play ( Read more... )

18, 19, 20... eighteen is the universal age which makes you an adult.. Big fucking whoop. Who cares? I don't I have come to realize that a lot of the people I know are, for all the world, turning into tight asses. Yea, you have to work, you have to go to school.. Alright.. Maybe you should suck it up and go out.. have a good time.. realize that you ( Read more... )

So tired. I feel so tired. I want to quit my job, but who would I let down? Everyone. Sucks doesn't it? I don't feel like I am doing anything with my life. I really just want to enjoy things, but I can't... Because I have to work, have to be grown up... I see my fiancee less and less and he lives in the same fucking house as me... I screw up at ( Read more... )

I feel one sided.. And when all the clothes are off I am to blame, but never you.. and for this, i feel the only one participating in the dirty. Why must it always seem this way? And fuck talking about it, right? That's how it feels. You cannot tell me words! Form words, damn you! Communicate! God, sometimes I just want to scream until my lungs ( Read more... )

I feel one sided.. And when all the clothes are off I am to blame, but never you.. and for this, i feel the only one participating in the dirty. Why must it always seem this way? And fuck talking about it, right? That's how it feels. You cannot tell me words! Form words, damn you! Communicate! God, sometimes I just want to scream until my lungs ( Read more... )

There's a heart inside every wondering vessel ( Read more... )