what was i thinking ( Read more... )

im debating whether or not to retract the previous entry.
one
word

Fuck.

i feel so bad. hes been sick all week and i couldnt even do anything for him. ive never been to his house, so i couldnt just go over and see him. i only have his cell phone number, so when he was asleep i couldnt call his house to check on him. how sad, i wanted to be there for him. hes not thinkin anything of it, and hes happy that im not all mad ( Read more... )

can i be honest? wow... from one month to the next, its almost like night and day. hes exactly what im lookin for. im gonna say fuck tradition, fuck superstition, i gotta unload. i think about him always. ALWAYS. i call him... he calls me. he texts me, i text him. its not one-sided. he worhips me, i worship him. he trusts me, i trust him. wow. is ( Read more... )

so sometimes its like wtf am i doin, then its like no, this is what i want, just do it. aww fuck. i dont want to mess up a friendship. he says he likes me, and that he always have, and that ive known this... and ya, i have. i told him a while back he had his chance, but he didnt know he did when it was there. it seems to be round 2, but the ( Read more... )

so i keep thinkin about what happened. i dunno how i feel about it. i mean, i see him, and its like ya, my friend allen, but i know its different now. i still cant figure out really whats goin on tho, i just pretend to know and go along w/ it. am i supposed to treat him like a friend? am i supposed to act like we're dating? do i want it that way ( Read more... )

so jumpin outta nowhere and creepin into my heart is my friend allen. ya... april 24th *slaps ass*... inside joke ( Read more... )

so im like 2 seconds from falling into the arms of the next nice guy who comes my way. for my sake, i hope he's not an asshole. that would be just oh-so typical of me. shit. why do i have such a great track record? *sigh* and the thing is, i still have that stupid childhood-like need to cling to my past, so when i think of love, i think of the ( Read more... )

why did i let him do that to me for so long? i mean fuck look whats hes done to me. i have a great guy who's totally fallin for me, and im worried about shit cuz i wanna tell him something he did bothered me? im so fuckin brainwashed to think that the world would end if i said the wrong thing. why did i let him control me that way? how could i let ( Read more... )

already i like this boy too much, and the irony is that he thinks he likes me more than i like him. i hinted that maybe im just better at hiding it. i was jokin around at dinner the other night and lip synced "olive juice" to him and the whole point is that it looks like "i love you" but i didnt mean it to be serious, and i really thought he knew ( Read more... )