Oh, I like pizza...just not when it's topped with pity.

[poisonavery]

I was gonna filter this to my "special" list but this isn't all deep and dark to me, even though it might be to some people, were they in the same situation. Anywho.

Comments

[blinding_voip]

First of all, it's completely up to you who you spend Christmas with. Don't let them make you feel guilty for staying home. It's completely up to you. I'll be home, too, since my dad is working so I'll be around to talk & stuff. We can have our own online!Christmas. Or something. :P

I'd rather spend the money on blinding_voip, who is visiting me for New Year, because it's someone I feel is worth it.

Warm fuzzies for me ♥. I can't wait to see you (& get my BUNNY!). 25 days. :D

lolz IronPigs. You should go when the play the PawSox. & I should come. Who knows, CLAY might start the season there, depending on the rest of the offseason (as long as he is a Red Sox I will not be upset about him starting in AAA). But you should still go to R-Phils games! Especially when Portland's there! Yes. :D

OMG I HATE THOSE PROMOS. "14 and under" & whatever. They had one for a Papelbobble in Lowell. Aggghhh LAME. I'm over 14 & I still want a goddamn bobblehead! >:O

[poisonavery]

I don't really feel guilty, per se. I think what bothers me is that they don't understand that it's not ill-intentioned. They just see it as that OMG I'M NOT COMING!!1! Whatever. Yay, Myr's gonna be around too! Partayyyyyy! ^__^

24 days now!

I don't know what I'm gonna do about Pigs games. Reading has the tendency to sell out, so I'm thinking the Pigs games will go ever faster, especially when they play the PawSox. But but some of my boys might be on there!

Fuckin' promos. Last year the RPhils had some poster giveaway of "Reading to the Majors" for kids 14 and under?. Yeah like they would know anyone on there besides the current Phils. They were probably all "WHO'S RYNE SANDBERG?!?1?"
Of course the women's promos are pink hats. If they try to give me a pink hat, I'll shove it back in their face.

[lieinour_graves]

I've had those same feelings about family gatherings. Mostly with my step-father's family. I'm already the outsider since I'm a step-child. Through in the very successful (doctors, phd's, etc) highly snobby other grandchildren in the family and I just never felt like I belonged. Even after being in college and graduating with two degrees, I've never felt like I belong. So, I don't go. But, I have the luxury of having a built in excuse: I'm spending it with my father's family. That's not so bad there. They're happy to see me because they never see me. Seriously, if I had my choice, I'd stay home all together. I like being alone.

I learned a long time ago how to entertain myself. You sort of pick that up very early when you're an only child.
*raises hand* That's me! People don't get how I can stand to be alone. Duh, I pretty much had to entertain myself my entire life. Why should it be any different now?

[heron_advocate]

Comparing yourself to family members always gets you down, at least in my experience. Conversations with family usually go like that for me. Even when I feel like I have a lot going for me, it seems they're always able to find a weakness, you know? Like, my sister graduated from college on the Dean's List, got a teaching job her first year out, is an excellent, amazing, brilliant teacher, etc. But all of my aunts/grandparents/parents (well, Mom mostly) ask her about her 'man' situation, which she's really uncomfortable about and I think she's somewhat jealous of the fact that I've been in a relationship for 3 years now and it's going all the way. And I'm jealous of the fact that she's so ambitious and accomplished, so I feel like a complete loser next to her

[thewlisian_afer]

From an email I sent my best "real life" friend earlier this week:

A big part of my problem is this place. I need to get far enough away that I don't have 20+ years of people's expectations to live up to, you know? I'm just not the same person anymore and that's cool with people like you and Ashley and Maria but I can't be me around my family anymore. I need to go away, at least for a while, so I can be me and then when/if I come back, people won't be so shocked that I'm not the exact same person I was.

So I definitely feel ya when it comes to feeling uncomfortable and like a failure around people who know you. It's why I'm moving almost 3,000 miles away in April. I need a new start. I can't be me here and I will never ever get better if I don't get the fuck out. Maybe you need some kind of drastic change, too?

[poisonavery]

I can't be me here and I will never ever get better if I don't get the fuck out. Maybe you need some kind of drastic change, too?

Oh, I know I do. I need to move to/near Philly. And I know this. And probably like you, I won't be able to prove that I can unless I just go and do it. I mean, Philly's only an hour away but it is so different than living here. And that almost sucks in a way, that it's so close and yet so far away, to be cliche.

Thankssss ♥

[ilive4this_38]

i'm sorry about all that family drama. but, i love your icon!

[poisonavery]

Thanks! bangbang_play made it for me. I've been pining for a KK icon ever since he got called up.