Comments | polyamorous: Coming out

luckybear86 in polyamorous

Coming out

Sep 02, 2010 00:55

It has almost been a year since my husband and I starting seeing our girlfriend. We all live together. I love them both so much I can't believe it sometimes. I have came out to everyone but my parents. My parents are divorced and have been for most of my life. My mom is the one person I have be able to tell everything to and she has accepted me ( Read more... )

Comments 8

parmonster September 2 2010, 08:03:53 UTC

Not advise per se, but a question I've been seeing on a poster nearby for the past week:

"What would you do if you were not afraid?"

tacky_tramp September 2 2010, 08:36:36 UTC

It seems pretty clear that coming out to your father will change the way he sees you and your relationship with him. Only you can decide if the benefits of openness are worth that.

tisiphone September 2 2010, 08:41:18 UTC

You can't have everything, and you can't control how your parents react. There is no way to tell your homophobic father "Dad, Annie isn't my roommate, she's my lesbian lover and we're a happy family" and be assured he's going to nod and smile along. Your mother sounds like she will be very accepting, but sometimes that too can fail. Before you come out, you need to be absolutely certain that you are ready to potentially lose your parents over it. That said, there's no reason to be overly detailed - just say you're very happy with her, and that your husband has nothing to fear from it. If you can come out together, just to make sure, this may make things easier. Good luck. This isn't easy.

friend_of_tofu September 2 2010, 14:10:11 UTC

Coming out to your father offers him an opportunity to change, and to let his love for you teach him to overcome his prejudices. This may not happen, but it is much more likely to change him for the better than simply waiting for him to get with the times. Best of luck with whatever you decide to do.

just_dia September 2 2010, 16:00:03 UTC

I've never really agreed with the idea that parents are obligated to accept/understand everything about their child, once that child reaches adulthood. It has always seemed to me that if a parent is dead set, for moral or religious reasons, against poly or homosexuality, than it would be more loving and respectful on the child's part to not come out to his/her parents. Yes, it sucks that an important part of one's life must remain in shadow; equally, it sucks for the parents who are forever living with such a hurtful 'truth ( ... )