well its finally caught up. i dont really know how to explain i feel. i feel like i am on the verge of death, but i just wont die. i wish i could hold you. i wish you could comfort me and my awful dreams that i have been having. my tears dont seem to dry. the taste of vomit wont leave my throat. i just want this to be over. i want you to say you ( Read more... )

I am always tired, and am only eating the worst food that could possibly go into my body. I feel like if i smell another cigarette that i might pull my pen out of my bag and stab myself in the neck. I am so fucking tired of them. Literally the most useless thing ever. Lets put something into my body and gives me no high at all, all this object does ( Read more... )

well today is officially my 5 year anniversary with loren. i dont know if i really knew that i would make it this far. i dont know if i was ready to face these things. i love her very much though and i know that i can do anything with her now. 35 hour work week and its thursday and i just got here. nothing has been posted on here for ages, but it ( Read more... )

i hope all ends soon.
growing tired of certain things.
i miss almost no one.
i wish there were five people by my side.
those five i dont believe i can grow tired of.
everyone else can sit on the sidelines.
im done with this all.
friends are lame.

things that make me laugh include kids that wear baggy clothes mostly mexican kids. they wear all white super clean air force ones. spike their hair so its super spiked and really hard. they just really try to look nice and then i see them riding razor scooters. its so funny to me. i think its hilarious. it makes me laugh ( Read more... )

in a nutshell. ive been working a lot. im working over at generic youth now too. which is awesome. working a bunch. went to jenny lewis the other night. she was amazing. i love her. went with guillermo, jenny, and loren. it was really really good. lost a friend this week. im not that sad about it. fuck her. my beard is growing out. skating more. i ( Read more... )

so lately ive just been kinda feeling down. its just kind of wierd. my closest friends seem to be further away then anyone i know. i dont really talk to them anymore. it seems like ive been abandoned. please believe me this is a pity cry at all. i just cant find my other journal and i need to get this off my chest. im just through getting mad, im ( Read more... )

being sick = no dice. i feel like shit. trying to get better and i actually feel myself getting there. im slowly but surely getting in shape. i wish i was skateboarding more. works good. a little tiring but good. the paul frank christmas party was awesome. free death cab for cutie, saw davey havok, hung out with jenny lewis and parts of rilo kiley ( Read more... )

i hate my life. i hate the way i feel at this very moment. i dont want to feel this way anymore. i dont want to cause anymore hurt. i want to stop crying. i want to just go out and make everything okay. i wish things werent this difficult. i wish there was something i could do. i wish everything could end. im so tired of everything. but i want to ( Read more... )

so tonight i went to go see sigur ros. boy was it amazing. absolutely mind blowing. i had the time of my life. pete and ruthie got me tickets for me and loren for my birthday. it was such a fucking amazing concert/show. thank you guys so much. i had a wonderful time. id go see them again and again. if anyone has a chance id definately recomend you ( Read more... )