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all day at work today i was tempted to explode at the customers for no real reason. i'd ask someone if they wanted a bag or a bucket of popcorn, and if they said "What?" like a moron i really wanted to scream at them ( Read more... )

i couldn't sleep due to the assmar, so i woke up and had caffeine until it went away. then i went and slept in the shower for about an hour or so, and had some insane dreams:

it started with me sitting on the couch in the den with a woman who was black most of the time. she turned white a couple of times, but was never someone i recognized. we ( Read more... )

a number of resigned sighs this evening. i'm not unhappy. wouldn't say i'm happy ( Read more... )

i've switched the buttons on the mouse, and i'm using it with my left hand. i think if i keep it that way long enough, i'll be able to write with my left hand.

so foolish. read two words today that drove me batfuck. "sister's wedding"

no, my sister is not getting married. i'm not going to explain. i get very tired of feeling as if something is trying to burst out from behind my ribcage.

i spent a few hours with kelly today. Watched the triplets of bellville, got some ice cream, and then watched igby ( Read more... )

i've always had a great amount of wonder at the incredibly low odds of everything around me existing at all, but tonight the feeling is very intense. everything i hear and see just doesn't make any sense because by all rights it just shouldn't exist. it doesn't make any sense that it does. thinking again about all the millions of lives that worked ( Read more... )

second worst dream i ever had:

i fell asleep reading (this really atrocious David Sedaris Book, Naked) . after i fell asleep (unbeknownst to me) i dreamt that there was an 8 inch bright green spider/praying mantis thing crawling up my left arm ( Read more... )

today was really nice. woke up with kelly (wink wink) and went out to breakfast. i felt really distressed the whole time we were eating, and kelly called me on it ( Read more... )

living is infuriating. it drives me insane. i wish i lived in a really ugly, terrible place that was not enjoyable at all ( Read more... )