I dont know why I don’t like the concept of moving on.
It feels like a betray of one’s own feelings for me.
Why do you deny what you used to believe so strongly?

Why do we all change?

Talked to everyone in the welcome party today.
I became the talkative one somehow.
And now I'm starting to worry that they will find me annoying...

What's with this train of feeling?

Great, now I feel unbelieavbly lonely.
That's why I hate love stories

Never deal with air ticket agent again.
They never have better deal than the actual airlines..

I told my friend about my insecurities ( Read more... )

Not really the thought of today but I've been thinking about it for a while.
That person who just stops responding to my messages/comments/questions, what is going on in their heads? I bet they must find me annoying huh? I shouldn't have tried to maintain the contact after all. Putting faith in others is something I'm worst at.

I wanted to be a bit selfish.
Cant my mom just leave my grandmother for my uncles and aunts for a few days and spend some time with me?
I love my grandma but I cant help thinking like that sometimes.

I rewatched Ofurotaimu Smiling and felt so fucking proud of myself for making that happen.
It is one of a very few things that I'm actually proud of myself.
Waseda info came in and anxiety is kicking in again. Had to tell myself that I will be fine. I am a good person, I will be fine.

I remembered a classmate in highschool.
There was a yearly exam to decide who can move on to a better class. She passed it but decided to stay.
No matter what reasons she did it for, now that I think about it, she was a really gentle person.

Sometimes conversations just don't come out. Feeling awkward thinking I'm bothering people.
I should start planning on what to grow in my dorm room when I arrive. Can't really see me loving plants and animals though but at least that's the plan.