i've decided im going to start drinking, it seems there is nothing better to do in this town and since i seem to f everythign else up, why not f up my liver also. anyway i like hanging out with the boys, tonight it was damian, melvin and mark. i do believe that when they were drunk melvin said something about being attracted to me but i hope its ( Read more... )

so i have gone out every night this week and i am truly worn down, i would like to be social tonight but i dont want to go downtown and deal with the crowds. they found a dead guy in the lake right behind my back door at work, so i quit, the ceo called and convinced me to stay until thursday, and then he convinced me to stay for another couple of ( Read more... )

what is wrong with me?

last night i was out with bob, its amazing how honest you can be when youre around someone that you dont know well. there is no fear of judgement, you can just say exactly what you feel. and that i did, i know where i stand, i know what i want and what i can and cannot have. i am still a little blurry on the details but the general idea is there. ( Read more... )

well fort myers is a bust. the ceo of the company i work for now loves me but i hate the company i work for. traffic is terrible and the boy disappointed me. oh well. you win some you lose some.

i'm cynical. i'm pessimistic. i'm suspicous. i only post when im upset.

i'm afraid and lonley, i keep having nightmares. i am worried about everything, i hate the way i look, i want to be fat and happy and in love. i want to make dinner, do laundry, pay bills, read books and do crossword puzzles. but instead in lying in bed wide awake cuddling with a teddy bear watching down with love and reaching out to the only ( Read more... )

i need to learn how to square dance.

i dont know if i want to move back to fort myers.

nick called...