trans biatching

[porn_into_this]

Because of nixwilliams rant on his public blog, I thought I would document two bad trans ally etiquette samples I've experienced lately

Comments

[radicalyffe]

The other is that TODAY, 3 separate people in 3 separate incidences saw fit to comment about what a pretty girl I had been. Then didn't follow up that thought with anything. Now, it would have been boring if they'd been like "errr but yr heaps hot as a boy too lolz!" But still, it's kind of grating to have the insinuation that you were better/more desirable whatever when you were in the closet.

OMG I HATE THAT TOO. I mean, AS IF WE CARE!!!!

[porn_into_this]

Uh huh. Fer reals, I don't really need that kind of validation

[nixwilliams]

3 separate people in 3 separate incidences saw fit to comment about what a pretty girl I had been.

gee whiz, what is with people and their arrogance - like their opinion of what we looked like when WE DIDN'T WANT TO LOOK THAT WAY is super important. yeah, NO.

yes, i hate it when people get all defensive and make us noting their mistakes some huge thing about how guilty we're making them feel. grrr. rrrr. RRRRRRRR.

*geeky hugs*

[porn_into_this]

I guess I feel kind of different about it - because I've my whole life looked at my body as a commodity, coming out as trans was threatening because it would mean changing my body from something salable to something that perhaps would be more of a liability. So it's not that I didn't want to look that way, I just wanted to for dubious reasons. And being told that I was prettier as a girl makes me insecure (financially, emotionally) and annoyed that I had to change. I mean, I love trans pride and being happy to be trans...but I also wish sometimes that I would have been happy to just deal with life as a femme girl. And comments like that reiterate that feeling for me.

[ohh_anxiety]

you are totally hot as an artistic performative babe.

and i know that somewhere on the internetts (maybe questioning trans? google is not helping) there is instructions for cisfolks on how to react when called on transphobic words/actions. it totally helped my brain. I dont think I've ever had to be confronted about that, but maybe there were times i should have been, yknow? and it helped to think about accepting,not arguing, apologising, and moving on.

p.s
I am scared about hanging out with you because I am on downers and you are on uppers.

[porn_into_this]

you don't think it will be hilariously disjointed???? I'm sure I can find a way to sit still for a little bit. And I'll probably be jetlagged as fuck. We should organize that soon. Could you come down to Sydney? I'm going to be there the 20-25

[ohh_anxiety]

i forgot that i didnt reply to this! like, 25th of this month?? yeah, I will come to syds, as long as I dont have to see other humans i know!

[ohh_anxiety]

I have melatonin for my non flight related wakk sleeping pattern jet lag type action, it rules. I reccomend ganking some from a pharmacy.

[theorybitch]

people who deny that they fucked up pronouns, they're the worst. and it's because pronouns are so completely habitual, or gendering a person is such a 'natural' thing to do, that people sometimes really don't notice. admit it and move on is a really good look. denial just makes them look churlish.

and the three people... ugh.

[porn_into_this]

I know...fer reals. And it's so hard to point out to someone that they misgendered you, it's not like I would do it on a whim. Like I go around accusing people of transphobia on a lark. Not that I view such mistakes as transphobia, but I definately get the sense that calling people on that shit makes them act as if you had accused them of WORST THING EVERRRRRRR AND THEY MUST DEFEND THEIR HONOR!!

[nixwilliams]

calling people on that shit makes them act as if you had accused them of WORST THING EVERRRRRRR AND THEY MUST DEFEND THEIR HONOR!!

but of course. it's all about them, don't you know?