ARGGH! MATEY, i been drinkin' Rum and I pissed. Me Rum has turned on me, an me friends. There has been a mutiny, and the captain is feeling the ANGRY and a feelin' of dishonesty fills the room. I get super pissed and start choppin' heads off while I'm drinking rum, and I'm quiet as hell. No one is able to touch me, as whistle in the wind and slice ( Read more... )

Well I don't need tooth floss anymore, my hair has gotten very long.

Morale: irony is lost on idiots.

In Memory of Hunter S. Thompson, who has just started to influence my life.

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Lying in the mire the other day I noticed a soft faint rattling. The said rattling coaxed me near its proximity, and I began to scavenge for it. After some shaking of bushes I found the noise coming from a rattle snake that laid twixt the tree and trunk of a persimmon tree. It was of course my good friend Dr. Williams the Snake. "My good boy, will ( Read more... )

So I was licking the homemade crank off the walls of my bathtub, when I realized how great life is.

Morale: They call me tripod!

Hello Mr. Racecar Driver ( Read more... )

Have you ever whistled so hard that, you cracked a tooth? Yeah me neither, but I was just wondering ( Read more... )

Today jimmy jangle punched a light bulb and right as he puched it janey jingle exploded in to pieces and as the pieces hit the ground the vaporized, and the vapor rose up together and formed another random character that I'm about to make up, cause I never do that. It was no other than Douche McFarland in a disguise, you couldnt see his face, but ( Read more... )

Well it seems like its been years since I got stranded in this godforsaken desert, but I'm not complaing, I've had good company, brought to me by my companion Swezzlick. Well Swezzlick isnt actually the best companion, in fact I've tried to kill him in his sleep several times. Let me explain the conumdrum of Swezzlick to you. Swezzlick is middle- ( Read more... )

Mr. Jones had decided to take and evening stroll through a pumpkin patch. He didn't do this often, and seeing how all the pumpkins had been harvested, there wasn't much of a view. He just walked and walked, occasionally seeing a dead pumpkin, or a roasted newt-- Mmmm newt. Well anyways he was awalkin' and all of this sudden a huge mountain of dead ( Read more... )