So, I was having my tri-weekly sparing match with Ramerez the Canadian. Now Ramerez is one big motherfucka, he could crush an 18-wheeler between his firm yet supple buttchecks, trust me I have witnessed this rare occasion. So Ramerez has to tone down his Hulkness when we spar. So we start going at it, you know, the usual easy shit, when I start ( Read more... )

Haven't been here in a while. Or thats what it would seem to you. Truth is I was performing my daily free the dogs hour, down at the vet, thats when I release all the dogs from the kennels from those demonic vets. Well i was releasing this rather large doxen, and he swallowed me whole. So I sat in his stomach for a few days, I was very depressed, a ( Read more... )

I fell down the stairs today. Ripped my shorts. And my underwear. And my shirt. I mean I actually ripped my clothes off, it had nothing to do with the stairs. I ran around naked and others followed. Oh how they followed, the stripped and tore until they only thing left on were birthday suits ( Read more... )

yeah, so anyways I was walking down the street, when all of the sudden this fucking guy came out of nowheres. He was like "Hey you fucking guy, fuck you." So I was like, "Oh yeah, Well Fuck yous you fucking guys." So the fucking guy, lemme tellya, was fucking ashamed. Stupid fucking guys. Always fucking arounds ( Read more... )

As I was floating through the Ether today I noticed a rip I hadn't seen before. I started to tear at it, and as I tore, it seemed time tore before me. Noticing the rip in time, I tried to spit on the rip in the Ether to seal, but then time seemed to slow and I was underwater. It was cool down there, and I swam. The farther I swam down the deeper I ( Read more... )

I climbed a tree today. Then I realized it was actually a cave, and I fell. But there was no ground, so how could i fall. A paradox wrapped in a shenanigan. So as i was floating along in this cave or wormhole, or whatever the fuck it was, and my hand started to melt. I watched for a few minutes and then I took a break, and started watching again ( Read more... )

Today I saw a bird whistling in a tree. I cried. Then, the bird cried. We cried together over drinks, and it turns out that the bird met my mother at Libertarian convention. To make a story short, they had a few drinks, and im the birds son ( Read more... )