Comments | potcsues: Francesca Barbossa

potcsues

Francesca Barbossa

Feb 19, 2004 21:34

Many apologies for the lack of Sue yesterday. I'll do an extra offspring!Sue before the week is out in order to make up for it.

On to the first hellspawn. Lord, it's bad.

TITLE: Francesca Barbossa's Daughter How imaginative.
CULPRIT: francesca quiroz Oh, Lord.
SUMMARY: "After her father Barbossa is killed she swears revenge on the pirate who ( Read more... )

Comments 16

mylla February 19 2004, 19:34:55 UTC

Okay, let me get this out first:
This one, despite being Punctuationally Challenged, at least has decent pacing. And I often can picture just what she's trying to describe.

However.

The... uh... plot. And... the Sue.

And THIS!

'Who are you Francesca? To the world what they see of you is reality, but they don’t know the act life makes you perform, and this being the way it is you have the ability to trick them, to deceive them, but not your own heart,' she contemplated herself again for a moment tilting her head a bit, 'today I do not recognize who I see before me, my reflection doesn’t show who I am in reality, but one day they will see who I am, that day will come. I don’t want to appear to be something, I want to be reality. To lie is not to live,' she passed her hand down the mirror and sighed."

Just... WHAT?

And what exactly is the reason for all this "I am not really who I appear" angsting? Hm?

And hello, the summary?

After her father Barbossa is killed she swears revenge on the pirate who stold her heart.Is that " ( ... )

Re: mylla February 19 2004, 20:06:04 UTC

Actually, having looked at the rest of it, I think I take back what I said about the pacing.

salophile February 19 2004, 19:54:47 UTC

Wait, I'm confused.

If the Sue's mother had an affair with Jack's father (while Barbossa was raping her), doesn't that mean that the Sue is possibly *not* Barbossa's daughter, but Jack's father's daughter, thus Jack's half-sister?

So, this is possibly one long, convoluted incestuous romance. I wonder if that ever occured to the Suethor.

Re: mylla February 19 2004, 20:05:16 UTC

Afraid it isn't possible. Seems the Sue's mother only slept with Jack after she was pregnant. Or after the baby was born, or whatever. I don't want to look back at it to find out which.

Re: drakonlily February 19 2004, 20:09:12 UTC

*whimpers about the making light of rape by yet another sue*

I am out of sporks...

Re: swgmigraines February 19 2004, 20:09:50 UTC

Maybe THAT'S what she was referring to when she was having that rhetorical discussion with her mirror.

wolfychan February 19 2004, 20:42:29 UTC

NO MORE RAPE! NO MORE RAPE!

God damn it, I am really really sick of rape as a plot device. I think that any author wishing to write a fic involving rape in any way should be required to submit documentation saying that either: a)They have been a victim of rape themself, or b)Their story has been reviewed by a rape victim who found it realistic and not massively offensive.

*wipes slavering rabid foam off mouth*

Well, this Sue was worst than most. It's when the authors think that they're actually good that the most horrible offences against language occur, isn't it? But I have to commend you on your snarking here. Exceptionally lovely snarking on this one.

Re: princesskraehe February 19 2004, 20:53:21 UTC

Having come from the realm of MSTing anime fics, I have seen the rape thing used far too much. I've also seen instances in which having sex with another person actually cured the girl of her emotional scarring (I don't know if that happened here, because I couldn't read very far).

And yes, Johnny Depp is forty. Why can't these girls just be content with lusting over an older man? Geesh.

anonymous February 20 2004, 01:26:46 UTC

"Francesca looked back at one of the men from the crew who had accidentally thrown it [dagger] towards them."

He was probably aiming for the Mary Sue but missed.
Because, after all, no one can throw daggers as well as FranSue can.

Re: cuileann February 20 2004, 13:53:09 UTC

I'm wondering what kind of convent teaches kewl!1! dagger-throwing pirate skillz. I always pictured a convent as a place of prayer and charity, not a Sue training ground.

thekow February 20 2004, 13:58:45 UTC

"'No, call me Jack, not Captain. For ye only Jack,' he grinned."

No. Just... no.

However, about the whole deal about Johnny being 40? For one thing, it was quite common for 40 year old men to be with much younger girls (which was why it was acceptable for Norrington to propose to Elizabeth). Plus, actors don't always play people their own age. I mean, Orlando is 26, but and Will Turner probably isn't much older than 20. I would place Jack Sparrow as about 35 years old.

Of course, I completely understand why the age issue would bug you, but I figured I'd just point out why it's definitely not one of the worst Mary-Sue qualities :)

Re: potcsues February 20 2004, 16:29:05 UTC

Will and Elizabeth are both supposed to be 20 according to the writer's commentary on the DVD. I usually assume that Jack is the same age as Johnny because we're never given any real indication otherwise. Though, considering he was probably about 38 when the movie was filmed, I don't take much issue with the idea of Jack being 35. If this fic follows the proper timeline (which is, of course, not guarenteed) then he'll be 33. It annoys me, not because it's a horrible crime of Sueishness in and of itself, but because it's part of a pattern with Suethors in this fandom. Jack is generally portrayed as being close in age to the Sues and the Sues are all teenagers. This is probably because when writing their little wish-fulfillment fantasies they don't want to imagine their lust object around the same age as their father. So while they're giving their Sues the "ideal" ages of mid-to-late teens they go ahead and knock some years off of Jack too. It bugs, not least, because, as you mentioned, it would actually be completely plausible, for the ( ... )

Re: thekow February 20 2004, 17:13:42 UTC

*smacks forehead* Ditzy me! I see where you're getting at now. I totally missed the point, and was thinking that you meant it was dumb for them to be crushing a guy so much older than them because they just didn't get it... or something. I agree that them making Jack so much younger is stupid, and annoying :P

Re: cuileann February 20 2004, 16:35:46 UTC

The problem Sues and the age is that they tend to make Jack a whole lot younger because their teenie minds can't understand that "old" people can be sexy. To them young=sexy, "old"= not sexy.

This Sue claims that Jack is only 5 years older then her. No. Just no. Jack is not 23. Late thirties/ early forties, yes.