Comments | potcsues: Katherine Hemming

potcsues

Katherine Hemming

Mar 29, 2004 06:15

Next Sue, I begin YouJack week. You can still get away. Don't say I didn't warn you.

TITLE: Reborn
CULPRIT: Depprulz So does correct spelling.
SUMMARY: "This is a JacK-OC story, Katherine was a princess and happy ... until that fateful day when her life changed forever..."
BEST LINE: All. Of. Them.

THE VERDICT

( Read more... )

Comments 26

wolfychan March 29 2004, 08:12:23 UTC

I think the author thinks the Spanish Main is actually in Spain. Stupid.

ganeris March 29 2004, 09:09:33 UTC

*gasp*

Do you mean to tell me the rain in Spain isn't plainly in the Main?

I missed that gaffe. Where is it? I need a good chortle.

wolfychan March 29 2004, 16:18:30 UTC

In the second chapter:

"the crew were sailing through the Spanish main,(familiar anyone?) on their way to port royal, the last place Katherine’s father, the King of Spain was spotted. They had reached the Cayaan Islands, about 2 days out from Port Royal, when an unnatural fog formed around the ship. "

Now, it doesn't explicitly say that the Spanish Main is in Spain, but the presence of the King of Spain does sort of suggest it. I mean, why the hell would he go to the Caribbean, given the long and risky voyage and the extended time he'd have to spend out of contact with his homeland? (Anyway, Port Royal is a British colony... I'm never going to get this sorted out, am I?)

A spirited search through the atlas found no mention of the "Cayaan Islands" anywhere in the world. The Cayman Islands do indeed exist, but they're a good 300 miles or so from Port Royal, so that ship'd have to be mighty fast or the wind mighty good to do that in two days.

farmercuerden March 31 2004, 14:30:06 UTC

Um, 300 miles in two days, remembering that ships sail 24 hours a day, is only just over 6 miles an hour. I don't find that particularly hard to believe. even with tacking factored in.

Thread 5

youko_riki March 29 2004, 11:23:39 UTC

One: Katharine Hemming is not a Spanish name. Catalina, maybe, but not Katharine.

Two: No princess would be down on the docks for any reason.

Three: Even if she was, she would be surrounded by guards and it'd be impossible for pirates to capture her, even if they were stupid enough to try.

Four: No royalty would be tan for any reason, as in the 17th century it was considered a mark of being a low-class peasant.

Fucking moron.

anonymous March 29 2004, 11:36:16 UTC

I know it's Jack/You week next, but I happened to find this Sue at the Pit and just had to point it out to you.

khym_chanur March 29 2004, 15:46:06 UTC

Meet Katherine Hemming, Princess of Spain. She's kidnapped by pirates and beaten, tortured, and raped constantly by the entire crew for five months. But don't worry about her. I'm sure some sex with Jack will make it all better. It always does. It's a cure-all, you know.

I guess Jack should package some of his semen (har!) and sell it as a miracle cure.

visp March 29 2004, 15:54:07 UTC

*snerk*

usagivindaloo March 29 2004, 16:08:06 UTC

Oh, don't you know? It's not in the semen, it's in the healing light of his cock.

JACK: Sumthin got you down, luv? Raped and pillaged and beaten within an inch of your worthless life? I got jus' what you need, luv. Come bathe in the light of my healing cock.
SUE: Oh wow! I feel all better now! I'm not at all dirty or scared or frightened! In fact, I'm horny! Can I have another crack at that healing cock of yours?

Apologies for bastardizing Jack's accent (hence why I don't write POTC fic). Mega-thanks to ficbitches for the first reference of the healing cock gag in fanfiction.

Because we've been watching it... mylla March 29 2004, 17:48:12 UTC

I note Lizzeh's story is back. It - uh - doesn't look much different. Worse, if anything.

And it's still got "Please send me only positive reviews" and "Oh Port Royal does so have a forest", now at the end of Chapter 6.

araeph, did she decide descide she didn't need your help after all?

Re: Because we've been watching it... araeph March 29 2004, 18:58:35 UTC

I e-mailed her yesterday. Either she hasn't checked her e-mail or she's ignoring me. I'll give her a couple more days. I am a bit miffed that she put it up again, though, after she said she was going to improve it.

If she still ignores me, my assassins won't be happy.

*Grimaces at "Luitennet" Norrington*

Re: Because we've been watching it... megaera_1 March 30 2004, 02:43:30 UTC

That author is a BLATANT LIAR!

She said "woods" in the original story. I'm not letting this go. WHY, for the love of God, did she post again anyway? You'd think she would realised when people strated sending her those *cough* positive reviews.

Re: Because we've been watching it... mylla March 30 2004, 15:10:20 UTC

Maybe she just took the story down to get rid of the bad reviews.

If that's the case, she's already starting a nice new collection of them on her reposting. :p

I'm glad she's back, actually. It's really one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. And every time I look, it seems funnier. :D