I put my hand up for the four-eyes too. I get angry where in a story the author rubs out glasses, or just forgets that they exist at all. Glasses are not a handicap to doing anything but it would be nice if they were mentioned at all. Like if he goes out in the rain, or has a shower, or trys to wear a scarf wrapped round his face in cold weather. All Voldemort needs to do to catch him unaware is attack him when his glasses fog up after coming inside on a cold day.
Another culprit for rubbing out glasses is the magical?creature fic where he wakes up in the morning looking like a shampoo comercial and just happens to discover he doen't need glasses. All this lazer surgery has been for nothing I should have just asked my if my parents are secretly veelas.
Don't forget the ubercool trunk. The one that's decked out with enough space to live in, a la Mad Eye Moody. Yep Harry gets his own pad! That can shrink to the size of a matchbox but have a training room, kitchen, living room, library, master bedroom, and a full en suite bathroom to rival the famed Hogwarts prefects bath! And for only 1500 galleons.
I usually skim through the shopping trip, the beauty salon where he gets a rad haircut with those every so popular goth streaks, the tat parlor and the piercing joint. I figure it's all bullshit but OMG why DO SO MANY people write it?
Damn I forgot that, or is that a good thing maybe it is possible to scrub cliches from your mind. The Library in the trunk is always decked out in tons of magical texts that Harry has never seen before, and it has a special dueling room where he can practice in secret all those dark curses that he discovers in the books he just happened to find. Why does Harry need to even go to school when he could just lock himself in his trunk and learn everything?
Coz, like, teenage girrlz really luv shopping and buying stuff and like, what is more important than buying stuff and like, glasses are uncool and like, if you want to be cool, like, you have to do all the currently fashionable stuff coz like not doing what everybody else is doing is like not cool. (Or whatever the current phrase that is the equivilant of cool is among brain dead fourteen year olds.)
And. . .my number three pet peeve. . .shrinking stuff. NO WHERE in the books do folks shrink huge amounts of stuff down and stuff them in their pockets. They struggle with loaded trolleys at the train station and drag heavy trunks around and get extra big cars to carry them. Tonks doesn't stick Harry's trunk in her pocket, she carries it slung under her broom. NOBODY SHRINKS STUFF. EVER.
But, like, emerald green orbs are just, like, you know, like so hot with leather pants. Sweaty crotches are so cool, like and isn 't a moving tatoo such a, like, you know, an original idea.
The bloody shrinking charm, where he buys a ton of books, all with secret dark knowledge, and can just'cast a shrinking charm' and wander back up the street to get those really cool dragon leather Ug boots.
A lot of time the shopping trip is where the author starts coming up with tons of magical crap they think of themselves. Like, wouldn't it be cool if Harry had a magical Hair brush, that could like change his hair colour and make it long and short, that would be so like cool.
So shops pop into existence where Harry suddenly buys things that we have never seen before, that will never turn up again in the story.
Don't forget the snake has to be purple with green spikes, can fly, make people invisable, it's posion brings death in 0.3 secs, and always know who Harry's tru luv is. In fact they will act like oprah when Harry comes back to his room to emo about how horrible his life is and how his boy/girlfriend doesn't love him.
Why does the snake always have a name to start with S and why does it have to always 'lisp'?
If it's not snakes, then it's magical wolves, big cates, pheonix, small furry animals he can have a conversation with and act like the cute furry monkey that steals the keys.
My friends have a theory that in all anime and kids fiction there must be a pokemon, some brightly coloured magical creature. It will turn up if you look.
Comments 9
(The comment has been removed)
I get angry where in a story the author rubs out glasses, or just forgets that they exist at all. Glasses are not a handicap to doing anything but it would be nice if they were mentioned at all. Like if he goes out in the rain, or has a shower, or trys to wear a scarf wrapped round his face in cold weather. All Voldemort needs to do to catch him unaware is attack him when his glasses fog up after coming inside on a cold day.
Another culprit for rubbing out glasses is the magical?creature fic where he wakes up in the morning looking like a shampoo comercial and just happens to discover he doen't need glasses.
All this lazer surgery has been for nothing I should have just asked my if my parents are secretly veelas.
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Sorry "Asked my parents if they are secretly veela."
Reply
I usually skim through the shopping trip, the beauty salon where he gets a rad haircut with those every so popular goth streaks, the tat parlor and the piercing joint. I figure it's all bullshit but OMG why DO SO MANY people write it?
Reply
The Library in the trunk is always decked out in tons of magical texts that Harry has never seen before, and it has a special dueling room where he can practice in secret all those dark curses that he discovers in the books he just happened to find.
Why does Harry need to even go to school when he could just lock himself in his trunk and learn everything?
Reply
Reply
And. . .my number three pet peeve. . .shrinking stuff. NO WHERE in the books do folks shrink huge amounts of stuff down and stuff them in their pockets. They struggle with loaded trolleys at the train station and drag heavy trunks around and get extra big cars to carry them. Tonks doesn't stick Harry's trunk in her pocket, she carries it slung under her broom. NOBODY SHRINKS STUFF. EVER.
But, like, emerald green orbs are just, like, you know, like so hot with leather pants. Sweaty crotches are so cool, like and isn 't a moving tatoo such a, like, you know, an original idea.
Bleargh.
Reply
The bloody shrinking charm, where he buys a ton of books, all with secret dark knowledge, and can just'cast a shrinking charm' and wander back up the street to get those really cool dragon leather Ug boots.
A lot of time the shopping trip is where the author starts coming up with tons of magical crap they think of themselves. Like, wouldn't it be cool if Harry had a magical Hair brush, that could like change his hair colour and make it long and short, that would be so like cool.
So shops pop into existence where Harry suddenly buys things that we have never seen before, that will never turn up again in the story.
Reply
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
Why does the snake always have a name to start with S and why does it have to always 'lisp'?
If it's not snakes, then it's magical wolves, big cates, pheonix, small furry animals he can have a conversation with and act like the cute furry monkey that steals the keys.
My friends have a theory that in all anime and kids fiction there must be a pokemon, some brightly coloured magical creature. It will turn up if you look.
Reply
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