if we really feel the same... if i make you happy. sometimes i wonder if i can be happy when you are not happy. so... should i stay or should i leave? there is so much stress in my life... maybe i don't feel like you are happy because i feel so horrible inside. but it isnt about you. ugh.

how much i need to know you love me. how much i need to be shown. you dont know how much i need you to just touch my hand. my face, to tell me i'm beautiful and amazing and everything you need ( Read more... )

i am a bitch.

every day when things seem to be going better, something gets fucked up. i am so... i don't even know what to do. i think i'm just going to go off to a distant land far far away and start a new life. i'll find new friends, a new job and i will make a family. the thing about starting anew is that things won't always be new. maybe i'll move every ( Read more... )

i am sick and tired of this nonsense. lets be done with it. i'm done with this.

i wish i knew what to do. so many things are changing in my life right now, and while i am almost always a person who embraces change, i simply cannot embrace these things yet. i am so upset and sad and confused right now. i know that these things will pass, however, i am losing my best friend, i lost my boyfriend, i am losing my family as it was, ( Read more... )

You are losing everything already. by neglecting the people you claim to love the most. by neglecting your body, your soul. you block out all of the support you have. i was your biggest supporter. you are losing me by doing this. do you even understand that? no. i guess you dont. i miss you too, but my heart cant take this limbo thats not a limbo ( Read more... )

i will do everything i can to make this work. i dont think you will though. that makes me really sad because i wanted what we have to work. i thought it would. i thought you wanted it to also. why are we doing this to ourselves? i miss you the way you were. i miss us the way we were. how can we fix this? it's going to take work. can you do that? i ( Read more... )

i had a really shitty day yesterday, and i'm wondering when the shitty days will end.

tonight when i got to chucks house, it smelled like it used to smell at camp at night. at camp it smelled like innocence, like holding hands was enough, like kissing was too risky, like fire, like outside, like summer, like good food that you cant refuse, marshmallows, love, grass, late bed, early morning, horses, kittens, chasing peacocks, donkeys ( Read more... )