( Britney Spears is child-proofing her house...against sharks. )

hey y'all! sorry i haven't been updating much! i've been sooooo busy with baby preparations! i love being pregnant, being a mom is the best thing that's ever happened to me. Squishy is so excited to have a little brother or sister! Owen died my hair black and it looks so fab! he took a crazy hot picture of me for the cover of Bazaar magazine! i can ( Read more... )

ooops - i did it again
i got all knocked up
and i have concieved
a baby, babyguess what y'all! in case you haven't heard, i'm pregnant again ( Read more... )

last night Owen came by my house in the middle of the night to visit me! he brought a ladder and climbed up to my window! he always said i was his Juliet. isn't that romantic? the thing is though he tripped up the security alarm! he was so surprised he fell off the ladder and CRASHED four feet down!!! i heard a THUD CRASH FUCK and i leapt out of ( Read more... )

hope y'all had a happy Easter! i know i sure did. we had the biggest Easter egg hunt ever! and Owen sent me a bouquet of chocolate roses!!! it was Squishy's first Easter. he didn't seem impressed but i guess he's a little young. he seemed to like the giant plush bunny Owen sent him but other than that he didn't seem to care ( Read more... )

hope y'all had a happy Easter! i know i sure did. we had the biggest Easter egg hunt ever! and Owen sent me a bouquet of chocolate roses!!! it was Squishy's first Easter. he didn't seem impressed but i guess he's a little young. he seemed to like the giant plush bunny Owen sent him. other than that he didn't seem to care.

so now we're back home

hey y'all! i'm in Louisiana with Squishy visiting my family for the holiday. we're having so much fun! today we painted Easter eggs. i was carrying a basketful of eggs over to the stove to hardboil them so we could paint them and i tripped and two dozen eggs went SPLATT all over the floor. i'm such a klutz! i cleaned them up while Mom and Jamie ( Read more... )

i woke up bright and early with the baby today. it's just me and him for the next two weeks as i gave the staff a 2 week vacation for Easter so's they can spend time with their family. tomorrow the baby and i are flying out to Louisiana so we can spend the holiday with my family. i can't wait ( Read more... )

have you seen this? a baby falls out of his high chair and they automatically assume it's child abuse! i bet Kevin loosened the screws so that Squishy would fall so everyone would think i hurt him so that the judge would give him custody but i won custody of him fair and square! and now the neighbours keep giving me these sideways glances whenever ( Read more... )

this is important, so i'm only going to say it once.

i am not really Britney Spears, and this is not really her secret diary.

i'm not sure how it happened, but i started telling my friends awhile back that i was Britney Spears and they played along with me and the next thing i knew i was doing things like writing fake autographs for persuasive_pixito the best ( Read more... )