[fic] The Things We Can't Control - Chapter 32 ~A Lesson in Power and Limits~
Title: The Things We Can't Control
Author:
prettyorianna
Pairing: Akame. Others to be added later.
Rating: NC-17.
Genre: crime drama au
Beta by: my cat Gemma. okay, seriously, nobody
Disclaimer: I don't own KAT-TUN, any of its members, any other JE people. I write this for fun and for other fans of these fine folks. But don't steal my plots, mmkay? I put a great deal of time into them except for when I'm randomly spastically spitting words onto a page. But I value those too...
Summary: Two criminals with vastly different styles meet by chance one day. Can they work together or will they end up destroying each other?
Author's Note: Here you go, somewhat longer chapter. I'm off to play HOPAGs now! Have fun reading!
BANNER BY DESHISORABA!!
Warning: This gets graphic often occasionally, containing at the very least foul language, character death, nefarious crimes, rape, etc etc.
The Master Posts:
On my journal - The Things We Can't Control Master Post
On the akame_ Community - The Things We Can't Control Master Post
On the akame_fanfics Community - The Things We Can't Control Master Post
On the je_kamenashi Community - The Things We Can't Control Master Post
On the kattun_fanfics Community - The Things We Can't Control Master Post
On the jin_fics Community - The Things We Can't Control Master Post
Chapter 32 ~A Lesson in Power and Limits~
Kame insisted on helping Aoi clean up the breakfast dishes, even though he was still hurting from yesterday and whatever had happened the night before that. He just… he could never have dreamed things would turn out this way.
Maybe the twins made a habit of taking in strays (that’s what he was, really, wasn’t it?) but somehow Kame didn’t think that. In fact, he had this certain feeling that the opposite was true. Yet, they took him in.
More than that, even. They were giving him a job at their club, so he wouldn’t have to whore himself anymore.
Kame was nervous about getting his hopes up about that point, since the last time he thought that, it hadn’t turned out to be true. Instead, his father still intended to pimp him out. It was just a little more selectively.
He wanted to ask them what thing they saw in him that made him different to them but he didn’t. Kame was in a completely unfamiliar situation and maybe it would be better to get a little more comfortable before asking the hard questions.
Akira recommended starting work on Wednesday so that he’d have the rest of today and all of tomorrow to recover physically and emotionally, at least as much as was possible. The man had teased him when he insisted on helping with the dishes, laughing that he wouldn’t heal up very quickly if he didn’t take it easy. But it was just playful teasing and to be honest, despite the pain (which was more annoying than agonizing by then), doing something so ordinary as washing dishes made him feel good.
Well, it would be ordinary for most people, he supposed. He didn’t do much cleaning at his father’s house. No, his father was of the opinion he was only good for one thing.
It was a bit of a pain to keep the bandages dry and when Aoi noticed this, he handed Kame a kitchen towel and gently pushed him away from the sink and towards the dish rack they were putting the wet clean dishes on. Well, he may not speak “Aoi” but it seemed pretty clear that he was being relegated to dish dryer instead of dish cleaner.
Though that did get him thinking. He started to ask Aoi a question but caught himself as he realized he’d most likely not understand the answer anyway.
Instead, he said, “Ne, Akira? Why doesn’t Aoi talk? I mean, I know you said it was a contract but…”
Akira looked up from what he was doing at that little card table still sitting there (whatever he was doing, it looked like it involved credit cards and IDs) and answered, “It’s about power and limits, Kame.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Think about this for a minute,” Akira continued his work as he spoke, “Between Aoi and myself, who has the most power?”
“Well, you, right? I mean, you order him around and he does everything you tell him straight away,” Kame answered, still just as confused.
“It does look like that, doesn’t it. But it’s not true. Yes, he does everything I tell him, but he’s the one with the ultimate authority. It’s a single ‘no’ from him to end this whole game, no matter what I think and no matter if I don’t want it to end. There is nothing I say or do to him that isn’t done without his permission.”
“But you never ask his permission. You just tell him what to do and he does it. And since he can’t speak, how can he say no?”
“If he wanted to say no, he’d speak. The fact that he doesn’t means he’s okay with what’s going on. Besides, as you mentioned, we have a contract.”
Aoi was nodding next to Kame, looking amused with Kame’s confusion.
“A contract for what?”
“Well, in the world of dominance and submission, there are more than one way for the sub to show his limits and protect his power. The problem is, no doesn’t always mean stop. How are you supposed to know, then, when it does and when it doesn’t? Well, sometimes it’s done with a safe word. That’s the standard thing because it can be implemented immediate as soon as the people involved agree on a word, usually one that seemed unlikely to come up for any other reason. If things feel like they are going too far or towards something the sub just doesn’t want to do or isn’t comfortable doing, he says the safe word and it all stops immediately.”
For some reason, Kame found himself blushing. It was strange, hearing about such things after being in similar positions only without being able to say no and stop it. Was that why Akira once told him the things done to him were a perversion and not at all like their activities?
Embarrassingly enough, Akira spotted his blushing. The man was just so good at reading him. Maybe it wasn’t just him. Maybe Akira could do that with everyone? In any event, Akira smiled at him and continued with, “You really should probably hear this, your question aside. I mean, it would be really stressful if what you heard sounded… wrong but you didn’t know it was normal and acceptable.”
And it was a good point so he didn’t argue it.
“Sometimes, people want a more long-term arrangement which is carried on continuously instead of a single encounter and that’s where contracts come in. They define the duties of both people, what rules they are expect to follow. Basically, the more stuff that can be decided at the start, the less misunderstandings later. Most contracts have a part about limits, an outline of things that will or won’t happen. Hard limits, which are pretty much set in stone, and soft limits, which is generally something a person is uncomfortable with but is still consenting to do, normally under specific circumstances only. And on the flip side, there are things called requirement limits which are like the flip side of hard limits in that it’s something you absolutely insist happen.
“Of course, like a lot of other kinds of contracts, there’s a specified period of time that the contract is valid and the way to prematurely end the contract by either party is spelled out explicitly. The things aren’t technically legally binding since the rest of the world is pretty judgmental about the whole subject, but for the people who do like the lifestyle, they’re seen as having a moral authority just like a marriage contract, no matter whether they’re just a couple of paragraphs or a detailed one like between Aoi and I.”
It was a lot of information to take in. “Wait, so you have a contract about sex with your brother?”
Aoi, who had by then finished the dishes and was watching the conversation, shook his head as Akira said, “No, it’s not sex. Not between us, anyway. I just like being in charge and he like being ordered around.” And both Aoi and Akira laughed, thus proving Aoi wasn’t completely silent after all. “To be honest, Aoi likes having me watch out for him. It makes him feel protected. True, he could do it himself. But instead he trusts me to keep things in safe bounds when he has an encounter with someone at the club. And we’ve got a system worked out so he can let me know if things are going too far anyway.”
So the two brothers didn’t have sex with each other, even though they slept in the same bed? They just had sex with other people together. Well, it did seem to work for them. Kame experience with them was with… what was the term they’d used before… vanilla? Yes, that was it. Vanilla sex. He supposed it would work pretty much the same way in other less tradition experiences.
“Okay, I understand all of that but what I still don’t understand is, how him not talking is related?”
“He never used to shut up. He went on and on and on and, when our positions were reversed-”
Wait, what? “You mean he used to order you around?” Kame tried to imagine it but it was too strange. He couldn’t picture it at all.
But Akira nodded. “We tried it out for about two months but I decided I really don’t like being told what to do. So we switched and we were both much happier. But he still talked all the time. He just would not shut up. So I told him he couldn’t talk again until I said it was okay. I hadn’t meant it to be permanent! But we each got an unexpected benefit out of it.” Sending a sly look at his brother, he added in a teasing voice, “I mean, aside from getting some quiet around here.”
He started to gather up his work from the table and put it in one of the locked kitchen cabinets as he continued, “He learned how to better express himself nonverbally, especially regarding facial expressions. I learned how to read people better, to notice a lot more subtle things in the way people stand or express themselves. The thing is, Kame… in this lifestyle, there’s a level of trust that has to exist between people when they participate. The submissive has to trust the dominant to stop if the safe word is given. They have to believe that the person that tied them up will stop and untie them if they want him to, even knowing that they couldn’t stop him if he didn’t listen. And a dominant has to trust that the submissive will not allow things to go further than they can handle. I know that doesn’t sound quite as important, but it is. Things get messy and painful and sometimes legal action is thrown into the mix and it’s bad all around.
“That’s why reading people is so important. You have to know who you can trust.”
Kame considered what Akira was saying for a moment. It was all so strange… the thought that people would actually want to be controlled like that, possibly hurt or humiliated or whatever else it was that went on. But was it really his place to judge that?
“The way the club is set up, the main floor is a lot like a casual bar or restaurant. The second floor is mostly set up with bedrooms, each with its own bathroom with shower. You will mostly be on the first floor, taking and delivering orders and just generally chatting. We like our members to feel welcome and stimulated even if all they do is order a few drinks and hang out for a while. But the second floor is wired to an intercom system that all feeds to a speaker at the bar and a speaker in the kitchen. Sometimes you’ll be sent to carry orders upstairs but you don’t have to stay. You can drop off the order and come back downstairs. You’ll probably be invited to join in now and again, but don’t be afraid to politely decline. If they press the point after you’ve made yourself clear, you can get either of us or Subaru from the kitchen and we’ll deal with it.”
Aoi’s hand on Akira’s arm caused Akira to turn towards him and after a couple seconds, started speaking. “I know we’ve never had an off-the-menu employee. Yes, yes, I had thought of… this is not the time for this conversation. We’ll talk later in private.”
And that was it. Kame was suddenly laughing. Not just a little chuckle, either; no, he was in full-scale, side-splitting laughter. “Talk… private…” Seriously, did they not see how funny that was since Aoi didn’t talk anyway? Trying his best to control his laughter enough to apologize, he hastily added, “I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t laugh at you but it just… Maybe I’m just tired and everything seems funny…”
But neither Akira nor Aoi seemed to mind. Akira even chuckled a bit himself. “Maybe. Well, you have most of today and all of tomorrow left. Relax, maybe take a bath,” and that last bit sounded rather pointed. “We’ll both be going to the club in about an hour and we’ll be there for about four hours. You’re welcome to anything in the fridge but please do respect our locks. Oh, and don’t answer the door. Anyone who’s allowed to be in our place when we’re not home is already in here now or has a key. That means just us three. Hmm… I should get you a key made, if you’ll promise to keep a good eye on it. We like our privacy.”
Aoi and Akira set course for their room. Kame could only assume they were getting ready to go to the club. As for himself, that bath idea sounded really good. It sounded even better when he got to the bathroom and realized he could take a literal bath and not just a shower. It wasn’t a fancy bathtub like the one in his father’s private bathroom, but it was still 100% more bathtub than he’d seen in a long time.
He hadn’t meant to fall asleep in the tub, though. When Kame finally opened his eyes, the water was cold and the house was silent. He couldn’t believe he’d fallen asleep in the water! He’s lucky he didn’t roll over and drown or something. But he had to admit, the hot water had felt so good.
As he pulled the plug to let the water drain and started to dry off, he glanced down at the clothes he was wearing before. Since his hound clothing was ruined with blood, this was all he had. But now that he was clean, he was hesitant to put them back on.
It was his first day as roommate though and he didn’t want to cross the dresser-raid line quite yet. Maybe… they had to have a laundry machine somewhere, right? Wrapping the towel around himself, he said a quick prayer that he was the only one home. Not that they hadn’t seen it all before. It’s just… it was different when he wasn’t sleeping with them.
Right? It was different?
Even though the place was pretty tiny, they’d apparently managed to still fit a washer and dryer, tucked away in what he’d mistakenly believed was the linen closet. For lack of a better thing to do, he sat down on the ground between the machines, back against the closed door, while he waited through the washer cycle and then the dryer.
And then he was in the heaven known as warm clothes fresh from the dryer. The long soak in the tub had helped draw out the tension all that fear left him with. A huge smile spread across his face as he just basked in the warmth from his clean clothes.
And that’s when he started to sob. But it was different, you know? He’d given up on ever knowing this feeling. It wasn’t exactly the clothes; he had clean clothes to wear at his father’s house. It wasn’t the bath exactly, either, since he had that, too, at his father’s (or, well, at least a shower).
No, it was that one moment where he barely hurt and he was warm and, though he might not know everything his future held, he at least knew it didn’t involve being brutally taken by some disgusting stranger in an alley.
Kame hadn’t even known those moments were a real thing. He’d wanted them so very badly. He just never expected to get them.
So, yes, he wept. But it was a good thing. A very good thing.
The only thing wrong was that it had taken fifteen years to reach that moment.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The story continues:
Chapter 33 ~All the King's Men~
A/N: Well, there you go. Um... I've never been strictly speaking "in the scene" or whatever the phrase is, but I do know some stuff about the way submission and dominance works not limiting to but still including sexuality. The rest of it I looked up online, and I can only hope that stuff I pulled from experience meshes with the research and that it's all accurate.
That moment with the warm clothes after the bath where the stress has (mostly) melted away is a wonderful thing. I'm happy I finally got past!Kame to something like that.