i feel so weird. have you ever felt on the verge of tears for no reason? its awful. i feel torn in all these different directions. i hate talkin about it so im done. not talkin anymore. to my friends, i love you no matter what. you are few and far between. please never forget that.

this year is going ok so far. i only get to work out a few times a week though. it sucks i was used to workin out all the time. oh well ill find a way to squeeze it in.
too bad im boring. sorry that i have not much to say. ill write when i do though.

well, dan is going home today. im so sad because i didnt get to spend a lot of time with him. he came to school to see me today but they wouldnt let him because hes a visitor. it sucks. jamie saw him or i wouldnt even know that he actually showed up. hes comming home in december though!!!! yay! too bad hes going off to college in january. but hes ( Read more... )

today i had my orienttion at red lobster. it was soo... i dont know... pointless comes to mind. lol. but i firmly believe that it is going to be a much better place to work besides mcdonalds. plus ive already spotted some hott waiters. ;) hehe ( Read more... )

heya kids!!! im sittin here with my pal james! shes the coolest! yeh ok so not really but im hyper all of the sudden. hmm... i went to bw's tonight with james, britt, britt, jodi, nathan, smitty, jarod and ummm... two other weird quiet guys. i think that we scared them. after all it WAS kareoke night. that explain a lot huh? well w/e i think that ( Read more... )

im glad that i am keeping busy. it helps me not think about ryan. i still think that he will be there on the first day of school ( Read more... )

today britt, jamie and i went to the services for ryan. britt and i went to the funeral but james didnt want to go. it was good to see all the people who cared. jeremy was there. i love him so much. i hope that he knows that. im so afraid that ryan didnt know how much i loved him. cape was actually nice to me. hes not normally mean but w/e. im glad ( Read more... )

what can i say about ryan? weve been really close since 7th grade. hes been there for me like no guy ever has been through my whole life. i dont trust guys. but i trusted him. we talked about his dad and how that whole situation affected him. he shared a lot of his pain with me. today i was reading all of the poems that he had written and gave to ( Read more... )

when you know a romantic relatonship is over and you just want to be friends what do you do? when you have had the just friends talk but it doesnt seem to be a just friends relationship, then what ( Read more... )

i have stayed with emily the last 2 nights. Grandma Donna died last weekend. she was a lot stronger than i expected. i hope she calls when it all hits her and she needs someone. i know that shawn will be there, he always is, but maybe she will need a girl friend. its crazy that i havent seen her all summer til now. like she said though, you really ( Read more... )