Comments | princessfics: My chapter doesn't flow?

princessfics

My chapter doesn't flow?

Jul 24, 2009 14:57

Soooo.....

I've gotten a couple of reviews now that have said something along the lines of...it's not your best, or, it doesn't flow as well....for the latest chapter of Protection (20). I'm not looking for an ego boost of, oh no, they're wrong and you're wonderful ;-)...I'm just genuinely curious about what is different with this chapter - if ( Read more... )

protection, writing

Comments 16

hmrpotter July 24 2009, 23:09:41 UTC

I don't know what problems anyone else is having with it, my only problem is waiting for the next chapter!!! :)

This is personally one of my favorite canon/AU fics and I tell you, I pimp this story everywhere!!!!!

So if you want to just go ahead and post the next chapter now I won't object! LOL

princessfics July 25 2009, 01:11:28 UTC

lol, thank you. I would absolutely post now for you if I could...but I think everyone would be pretty pissy about a completely blank post. :-P

afoust2 July 25 2009, 00:20:02 UTC

I didn't think there was anything wrong with the writing or the flow or anything like that. The only thing I noticed was Tonks was in the beginning of the chapter, then Bill said she was in the hospital. I didn't notice it till my second read through. I think I would have noticed it the first time if the flow wasn't right. I wouldn't worry about it too much. You can't always please everyone.

princessfics July 25 2009, 01:10:40 UTC

oh my gosh, you almost gave me a heart attack. for a second I was thinking I'd messed up the timing, lol. Tonks was injured when Harry brought all the brooms crashing to the ground outside of the gate. :) I just haven't addressed that again yet. Didn't really seem like the time for anyone to say "oh yeah, harry, not only didn't you kill snape, but you also shattered Tonk's hip." ;-)

afoust2 July 25 2009, 01:47:11 UTC

Oh I get it. I thought she was injured in chapter 19. Sorry about that.

princessfics July 25 2009, 02:19:11 UTC

No worries. I haven't explained it, so I can understand the confusion. :)

mon_potter July 25 2009, 02:48:55 UTC

i read it again and i didn't think there was any problem. it was very clear to me and "flowed" well. i think you did an excellent job, as usual, of expressing the raw emotion not only from h/g, but everyone.

fyi: i thought it was even more enjoyable this time! but i will say i like the cut of this chapter on your lj MUCH better.....*smirk*

missliss14 July 25 2009, 04:57:06 UTC

I thought the chapter flowed very well. The only part that confused me was when they told Harry Snape was dead, but that was entirely my fault since I forgot that detail from the earlier chapter. I went back and reread the other chapter, then went back to the current one. If not for my spotty memory the entire chapter would make perfect sense.

(The comment has been removed)

princessfics September 8 2010, 06:20:39 UTC

wow, I never saw these replies or i would have answered much sooner. *blushes* my bad. My understanding...of the spell I made up, lol ;)...Is that it isn't necessary for Harry and Ginny to be there. It would be helpful for them to be there, or at least in a controlled place, b/c they will obviously have the most extreme reaction to the spell being performed (ie, passing out, falling to the floor, etc b/c of the amount of alteration happening to them). But the spell is all encompassing - in a way it affects anyone who has memories or knowledge of the truth that is being hidden. Everyone who went to Hogwarts didn't need to be in the room to have their memories wiped...it just happened as the spell altered reality...so Harry and Ginny didn't "need" to be there either.

In my mind, that makes sense, lol. :)