( Read more... )

no, i am not dead.

so the promotionals are finally, finally over. i would say i feel so relieved and free, but no, not completely. i've pw and a'level mt still hovering above me ( Read more... )

pms has got the better of me.
one more paper before i'm done with promos, hopefully for forever.
to note, i am largely disheartened by how i handled 3/4 of my papers, but no regrets.

so no history paper for me on friday,
thanks or no thanks to an impossible need to purge but being unable to, coupled with the usual headache. i swear i felt like i was ( Read more... )

zomg the promos are tomorrow ( Read more... )

saturdays are my new sabbath.
it is also my new excuse for not getting my ass moving and doing something productive.

so today, being my sabbath yes, i had an awfully relaxed time sleeping in, eating, going to church (on time, mind you) and eating some more. but now that it is 0256, and my sabbath has obviously ended, i am going to go downstairs and ( Read more... )

tonight is one of those rare nights, over this past two weeks, that at 0138 i am not already sprawled on the floor having one of my midnight naps that only, always, turn into a wake-up-5-hours-after-my-alarm-rings habit ( Read more... )

it's 0255, and i am only awake and not slumped unceremoniously on the floor in my school uniform (as it has happened multiple times the past few weeks) because i forced myself to drink this awkward blend of half a packet of 3-in-1 Nescafe coffee, 1 table spoon of milk powder, 1 table spoon of milo and half a table spoon of condensed milk ( Read more... )

the past few days i've learnt a lot about myself. 
i have finally come to the conclusion that
i hate myself, but i hope that a while from now i can look back and know that all these has changed
it's always easy to hope.

i've got a new motivation.
and because this means so much to me, i'm going to study till my eyes bleed, my fingers swell and my throat hoarse from an uncontrollable vomit of historical events, spoken with psychotic precision, as if they were my own. 
i don't mean to count, but twenty nine days to prove myself.
watch me.