Let's Play Homestuck
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Act 4: Flight of the Paradox Clones
Part 1: Land of Wind and Shade
Link back to comic: Page 1358
[S] Enter the Land of Wind and Shade.
Go ahead and explore there for a bit if you want. It's interactive!
These things are sort of the strange mail system of this world. You can carve a stone minitablet with a picture of an item you want, and send it into the tube system - if someone else who has that item finds the tablet, it's considered polite to drop it into the tubes to get it back to you.
You can see your house from here!
Apparently the gate transported you down, not up. You'll have to climb even higher to reach the second gate.
In a future settled askance of the present...
Collateral desecration mars the sacred/illicit.
After much firing of rockets and engaging of antics, you settle things peacefully over ancient but delicious rations.
You are basking in the glow of this human emotion called friendship.
Reaching the end of a VERY long countdown just as you find it, an ancient Time Capsule reveals its contents - your friend's copy of the Sburb beta.
While you play with your various fetch modii, the capsule resets. Looks like something else will pop out of it in another 413 years.
Oh no!
Bec has caught on to your nefarious schemes.
And back to your room you are sent.
Oh well, you've got the beta now!
Looks like it'll take some time to install.
Ugh, not those assholes. They can sit tight while you talk to your actual friends.
-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --
EB: rose?
EB: are you there?
EB: i went through the gate, nanna said you might be here too.
EB: are you in kind of this spooky glowy place with oily rivers and stuff?
EB: let me know ok.
-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --
GG: john hi!!!!!
EB: hi jade!
EB: guess where i am.
GG: are you on the ground below the clouds yet?
EB: wait how did you know that's where the gate goes...
EB: did you talk to rose? can she still see me while im down here?
GG: no i havent talked to her yet but id like to soon
GG: sorry ive been so scarce ive just been so busy running around like crazy and looking after my dog and stuff all day!!!!
GG: i think he just locked me in my room actually :\
GG: hey john can you hold on i have to talk to dave and start playing this game with him
EB: oh? what game?
GG: sburb!!!! duh what else!
GG: that reminds me since im setting the game up with dave to be his server you are going to need to do the same thing for me
EB: oh really?
EB: this is news to me.
GG: can you see from where youre standing the place your dads car would have fallen?
EB: oh yeah, i think so. it'll be kind of a long walk though, this place is huge.
EB: wait, how did you know my dad's car fell down here?
EB: miss knowitall mcpsychicpants.
GG: hahahaha oops ok!
GG: i mean i know lots of things but im really serious its no more information than what you have access to
GG: but you dont know it yet
GG: anyway we can talk more about it soon.....
GG: just give me a few minutes while i set up this game!
GG: and say hi to the salamanders for me
GG: <3
-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --
TG: hey
TG: will you open your laptop already
TG: see
TG: this is why you need a phone or something
TG: that alerts you to important messages
TG: instead of leaving them trapped
TG: under three inches of fucking yarn
TG: laptops dont need cozies
TG: what is this place anyway
TG: what are you doing
TG: i guess ill bone up on the faq for a while
TG: so i dont do anything stupid and deploy like 10 crux flangers and fuck up the whole game
TG: oh my god
TG: so many words
TG: do you think like the pulitzer committee is secretly scouring the dregs of the gamefaq archives or something
-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --
GG: yo yooooooo!!!!!!!
GG: so youre finally playing the game with rose?
TG: pretty much you have no idea how much i fuckin own at this game
TG: i bested no less than three flaming tornados and broke a huge wizard
GG: so how does it feel to be a BIG TIME HERO
TG: it feels like
TG: i am in sports
TG: all alone
TG: and i am the star
TG: its me
TG: and then the big man comes
GG: hehehe
GG: but it turns out to be CRAZY what kind of basket ball this man plays!
GG: ummmm......
GG: the HOOP IS ON FIRE...
GG: ok i forget how it goes
TG: no you got it
TG: we're good
TG: reference secured
GG: yes!!!!!!
GG: so now it is my turn to be the star!
GG: i will be your hero
GG: its me
GG: im connecting to you as the server player
TG: oh man
TG: this is ridiculous
TG: i just set this shit up with rose and now i got to do like
TG: some double duty thing
GG: you can keep playing with rose while i just set up a few things
GG: i figured id get a good head start to avoid all the drama you guys are always getting into
TG: look i was getting my ass handed to me by my bro on the roof for like an hour and a half
TG: i got served like a dude on butler island
TG: wait does this mean theres a big meteor coming soon
GG: yes!
TG: when you activate the thing will it start the countdown and summon the meteor
GG: itll come when it comes regardless of what we do
GG: the timer really just lets you know when its coming
TG: how big is this thing
TG: like the size of rhode island or texas or what
GG: ok i dont actually know :(
TG: wait hold on rose is finally opening her stupid laptop
TG: so do your thing i guess
TG: have fun
GG: thanks i will! <3
-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling ectoBiologist [EB] --
CG: HEY JOHN.
CG: CALM THE HELL DOWN.
EB: aaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
EB: how did you find me?????
CG: YOUR RUSE DIDN'T FOOL US.
CG: IT JUST SO HAPPENS WE DIDN'T PARTICULARLY GIVE ONE OF YOUR HUMAN SHITS ABOUT TALKING TO YOU IN THAT TIMEFRAME.
EB: ok, this time i'll believe you that you aren't human.
EB: because the skepticism center of my brain is starting to wear kind of thin i guess.
EB: but you're still a major asshole and i don't actually want to talk to you, so bye.
CG: BUT I'M NOT HERE TO TROLL YOU THIS TIME.
CG: WE'RE FRIENDS OK?
EB: hahahahahaha!
EB: oh man, look at this outburst of little human words i'm saying!
EB: from my human mouth!
CG: FINE YOU CAN THINK I'M A FUCKING DOUCHE AND MAYBE I AM BUT HERE'S THE FACT, IDIOT.
CG: I'VE ALREADY HAD LOTS OF CONVERSATIONS WITH YOU.
CG: IN THE FUTURE. I MEAN YOUR FUTURE.
CG: I'VE KIND OF BEEN WORKING BACKWARDS HERE FOR A WHILE.
EB: that's the dumbest thing i've ever heard.
CG: WELL IT'S NOT LIKE I MAPPED OUT THIS TROLLING ONSLAUGHT VERY WELL IN ADVANCE.
EB: wait...
EB: you have something to do with this game, don't you?
CG: OH GOD.
CG: NOT AGAIN.
CG: NO, FUCK NO, I AM JUST NOT GOING TO EXPLAIN THIS TO YOU AGAIN.
CG: YOU'LL GET PLENTY OF DIRT ON ALL THIS FROM ME IN FUTURE CONVERSATIONS.
CG: WHERE YOUR DEMEANOR WILL GRADUALLY BECOME INEXPLICABLY AND REVOLTINGLY FRIENDLY TOWARDS US.
CG: IT'S REALLY WEIRD.
CG: THIS HUMAN EMOTION YOU CALL FRIENDSHIP.
EB: friendship isn't an emotion fucknuts.
EB: what do you want? why don't you just tell me what's going on.
EB: are you in the medium?
CG: OK, FINE. YES WE ARE.
CG: YOU AREN'T THE ONLY ONES PLAYING THE GAME.
CG: EVERY GROUP OF PLAYERS GETS THEIR OWN DISTINCT, BLANK SLATE SESSION.
CG: AS WILL BE EXPLAINED TO YOU MANY TIMES.
EB: so why don't you just explain it again so i know...
EB: so i don't ask so much in the future???
CG: NO.
CG: FUCK THIS SHIT, JUST NO.
CG: I'M ENDING THIS CONVERSATION BECAUSE I'VE SAID IT ALL TOO MANY TIMES.
CG: BECAUSE YOU ARE DUMB.
EB: so what do you want.
CG: I NEED YOU TO TELL YOUR FRIEND JADE TO TALK TO US.
EB: she pretty much can't stand you guys.
EB: because of all the trolling you did before.
EB: remember?
CG: JUST TELL HER WE'RE SORRY.
EB: we'll see.
EB: i'm still not really sold on this friendship thing yet.
EB: but i've got to go now and get on with my petty little quests.
EB: so talk to you in the future i guess.
EB: jerkface.
TT: Jade is connected with you?
TT: So you mean to tell me she was able to connect with you in a timely fashion, without waiting until you were on the brink of annihilation?
TG: we went over this
TG: i was a little bogged down
TG: in the epic swaddle of legendary puppet taint
TT: I've done nothing but wait for boys to play this game with me all day.
TT: And yet a girl, one who didn't even own the game, was able to connect with you minutes after you connected with me.
TG: whoa wait
TG: what the hell is she doing
TG: shes taking my bed what the hell
TT: And there she goes.
TT: She HAS the karma.
TG: so seriously what were you doing just now
TT: You remember the trolls?
TT: One of them messaged me, so I indulged him/her/it for a moment.
TT: I also took a moment to check on John.
TG: how is he
TT: I can't see him anymore. Just his empty house.
TT: But I did talk to him briefly.
TG: i should probably text him soon
TG: see whats up
TG: because
TG: i love him
TT: I know.
TG: so this place youre at now
TG: its the same place hes at right
TT: It's hard to say for certain.
GG: oh fuck!!!!!!
NEXT CHAPTER: Exploring more of the Medium!
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