Let's Play Hivebent
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Act 5 Act 1: MOB1US DOUBL3 R34CH4ROUND
Part 5: Strong
Link back to comic: Page 2211
[ BGM - Staring ]
Ugh, I guess we can't put off introducing this troll any longer. Let's get this over with.
Equius Zahhak
centaursTesticle
Interests: Being strong, archery, nude musclebeast portraits, rage, games
Fetch Modus: Unknown
Your excellent butler lusus brings you a warm glass of lusus milk. He is an excellent butler.
You try to pat him lightly enough to not bruise, but it's hopeless. You are simply too strong.
You'd love to be able to equip a bow, but you're so strong that they always snap like a twig in your mighty hands. this is why you have the depressingly useless 1/2bowkind specibus.
Enough dicking around! Time to dick around some more.
centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling terminallyCapricious [TC]
CT: D --> Have I ever told you what a reprehensible disgrace you are
TC: hAhA, fUcK yEaH, oNlY eVeRy MoThErFuCkIn DaY bRo!
CT: D --> What you do appear to know is e%actly how to ma%imize my livid contempt for you
CT: D --> With your revolting language and your sense of decorum
CT: D --> At such breathtaking odds with the richness and perfe%ion of your b100d
TC: iF wE eVeR mEt I cOuLd BaKe YoU a FuCkIn PiE aNd We CoUlD cHiLl AnD mAyBe We'D bE bEtTeR bRoS tHaT wAy.
CT: D --> Maddening
CT: D --> I command you to stop
TC: Oh, AlRiGhT bRoThEr.
TC: yOu MoThErFuCkIn GoT iT.
CT: D --> What
CT: D --> No
CT: D --> This is una%eptable
CT: D --> Ok, let's start over
CT: D --> I apologize
CT: D --> I was completely out of of line, and I'm sorry
CT: D --> I have no right to talk to you like that, or tell you what you can't do
CT: D --> It's not my place
TC: hAhAhA. oK.
CT: D --> Don't you understand that you're better than me
CT: D --> Can you please act like it
TC: oK, i CaN tRy, BuT mAn I dOn'T kNoW iF i KnOw HoW tO bE lIkE a BeTtEr MoThErFuCkEr ThAn AnY oThEr MoThErFuCkEr.
CT: D --> It sounds as if you have begun playing with the red team
CT: D --> Is this true
TC: fUcK yEaH. i'M aLl Up In ThE fUcKiN sHiT oF tHiS wIcKeD mYsTiCaL mOtHeRfUcKeR.
TC: i BoNkEd An ImP oN tHe HeAd WiTh A cLuB.
TC: AnD tHeN a LiTtLe LaTeR i ScArEd OnE wItH a HoRn.
CT: D --> This is very good
CT: D --> It really pleases me to hear tales of physical subjugation
TC: tHeSe MoThErFuCkErS aRe PrEtTy DoPe AcTuAlLy, I lIkE tHeM.
TC: WhAt CaN i Do To MaKe A bRoThEr FuCkIn ShApE hIs ShIt Up?
TC: iF i CoUlD mAkE yOu SmIlE iT'd Be ThE bEsT fUcKiN mIrAcLe I eVeR dId PaRt Of.
CT: D --> Would it be too much to ask
CT: D --> For you to maybe
CT: D --> Boss me around a little
TC: i'Ll TrY, bUt I'm NoT mUcH fUcKiN aNy GoOd At It I tHiNk.
CT: D --> Just
CT: D --> Say anything
CT: D --> As long as it's authoritative
TC: aLrIgHt, WeLl, WhAt ArEn'T yOu AlL nOt SuPpOsEd To Do?
TC: WhAt KiNd Of MiScHiEf Do YoU gEt YoUr BaD fUcKiN sElF uP tO?
CT: D --> I do so many bad things
CT: D --> I'm incredibly impudent and a superior needs to put me in my place
TC: uMmMm, Ok WeLl.
TC: DoN't Be DoIn AlL tHoSe BaD fUcKiN tHiNgS bRo!
TC: cUt ThAt ShIt OuT, i'M sO aLl MeAnInG tHiS! hAhAhA.
CT: D --> Now tell me this, highb100d
CT: D --> I've been roughhousing a little too hard lately
CT: D --> What do you make of it
TC: fUcK mAn, I aM sO mOtHeRfUcKiN sAlTy AbOuT aLl ThAt BuSiNeSs YoU sAiD!
TC: FuUuUuCk, Im LiKe AlL mOvInG mY mOuTh AnD tHe WiCkEd NoIsE iS cOmInG oUt In ThE fRoNtIeSt WaY pOsSiBlE.
CT: D --> So good
CT: D --> I am presently whipped into a state of contrition
CT: D --> But I'm starting to perspire again so it's best that we stop
TC: hAhA, nO pRoBlEm BrO.
CT: D --> Honestly I'm confused by the social order
CT: D --> How is it possible for one of your distin%ion to be so ignorant
CT: D --> And loathesome
CT: D --> Whereas
CT: D --> A member of the most abject, verminous b100dline of all
CT: D --> Can conduct herself with such grace and possess nothing but admirable mannerisms
TC: WoW, i GoT nO fUcKiN cLuE wHaT yOu'Re TaLkInG aBoUt
TC: wHo Is ShE?
CT: D --> I shouldn't be talking about this
CT: D --> You're the enemy
centaursTesticle [CT] ceased trolling terminallyCapricious [TC]
arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling centaursTesticle [CT]
AG: Hey! I'm a8out to meddle with so many losers right now.
CT: D --> How many
AG: So many! All the losers. All of them.
CT: D --> Good
CT: D --> Use your cunning and venom to make them envy our nobility
AG: Did you finish Aradia's present yet? I'm a8out to fuss with her and I want to know if I can keep my promise or if you're gonna make a liar out of me.
CT: D --> It's finished
CT: D --> But I don't understand why you're intent on gratifying that worthless peasant
AG: 8ecause I promised I would and it's none of your damn 8usiness! Man.
AG: So just to review!
AG: We will let Aradia perpetr8 her cute little ploy on Sollux and usurp his power.
AG: She makes her little powergra8, and that's when we 8oth step in and usurp her as co-leaders.
CT: D --> That's the plan
AG: Perfect. We have the perfect plan, and no one is plotting any sort of dou8lecrossings or 8acksta88ery or anything like that.
CT: D --> You know
CT: D --> I can feel you trying to read my mind
AG: 8ullshit!
AG: Pro8a8ly just another one of your many daily rage aneurysms.
CT: D --> Get out of my head, it's making me angry
CT: D --> Try to remember who built your arm for you
AG: Oh g8d!
AG: D8n't you d8re!!!!!!!!
Better check on that present.
This is Aradia's gift. A robot body to house her soul.
You don't know what to make of the feelings this body stirs. For a noble such as you to have such feelings for a lowly rustblood would be utter depravity. Sweet, beautiful depravity.
HEY, WHAT ARE YOU JUDGMENTAL LOSERS LOOKING AT?
You make an example of one of the staring robot bodies around your room. As you often do.
This act of senseless destruction starts a chain reaction that ends with a landslide falling onto Vriska's lusus.
AG: It looks like tonight we will have to 8reak our truce. Or at least suspend it. Hope you don't mind!
GC: TH3 TRUC3 W4SNT 4BOUT NOT PL4Y1NG G4M3S TOG3TH3R DUMMY
GC: 1T W4S 4BOUT NOT ST4BB1NG 34CH OTH3R 1N TH3 B4CK 4NYMOR3
GC: 4ND 4BOV3 4LL NOT US1NG YOUR POW3RS TO HURT P3OPL3 WHO DONT D3S3RV3 1T!
AG: Man, you like to give me such a hard time a8out all that. I can't catch a 8reak!
AG: Can't you see I'm trying to put all that 8ehind me and make amends with every8ody?
AG: No, of course you can't see that. What am I saying!
AG: I'll prove it to you. I'm giving Aradia a present that will make her feel all 8etter finally.
GC: 1 DONT KNOW WHY YOUR3 BOTH3R1NG TRY1NG TO H3LP H3R
GC: SH3 WONT C4R3
GC: WH4T3V3R 1T W4S YOU D1D TO H3R 1 TH1NK YOU BROK3 H3R BR41N
AG: Man, why can't you cut me some slack for once????????
AG: It's not like I even did anything that 8ad to you.
AG: I lost seven eyes 8ut you only lost two! I would say you came out ahead in the 8argain.
AG: Remem8er Team Scourge? How convenient all that must 8e to have forgotten! You were so nasty.
AG: Oh man, if you crossed Terezi Pyrope you were fucked!!!!!!!!
GC: Y34H 1F YOU W3R3 4 B4D GUY
GC: W3 W3R3 SUPPOS3D TO B3 L1K3 4 V1G1L4NT3 DUO D1SP3NS1NG JUST1C3
GC: 4ND YOU COULD T4K3 TH3 B4D GUYS HOM3 4ND F33D TH3M TO YOUR STUP1D SP1D3R
GC: BUT 1NST34D YOU JUST F3D H3R 3V3RYBODY!
GC: 4ND L13D 4ND L13D 4ND L13D
AG: Yeah, those were the days.
AG: I mean, days full of mist8kes and r8gret!
AG: Well if you want to know what I think, you should start changing your tune.
AG: Cause even though you got all these highfalutin morals and fancy reserv8tions, you know as well as me that a killer is a killer is a killer!
AG: And you're going to do something t8rri8le to some8ody and wish you could t8ke it 8ack 8ut you c8n't!!!!!!!!
AG: And then you'll work hard to win 8ack their trust, and you'll try and try and tr8, and you'll see how hard it is!
GC: OH W1LL YOU C4N 1T S3RK3T!
AG: Hahahahahahahaha.
arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]
arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]
AG: Whoa, what was that????????
AG: There was a loud noise outside my hive!
AG: It sounded like an explosion.
AG: And then another one!
AG: And now something that sounds like an avalanche!!!!!!!!
GC: W3LL 1F 1 H4D TO GU3SS
GC: 1 WOULD S4Y
GC: 1T W4S PROB4BLY TWO 3XPLOS1ONS 4ND TH3N 4N 4V4L4NCH3
AG: That dum8ass is probably punching ro8ots again.
AG: I will go outside and look.
GC: TRY NOT TO G3T BURN3D OR CRUSH3D TO D34TH OR 4NYTH1NG TH4T WOULD B3 4WFUL
Much earlier, shortly after Tavros's "accident"...
gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling apocalypseArisen [AA]
GC: HOW 1S H3
AA: 0k
AA: he cant walk th0ugh
AA: pr0bably never will
GC: M4YB3 H3 COULD B3 F1X3D
GC: W1TH ROBO PROSTH3T1CS
GC: 1F YOU D1DNT M1ND G3TT1NG H3LP FROM...
GC: UH >:\
AA: n0!
AA: i d0nt see why theyd lift a finger t0 help him
AA: they hate us b0th s0 much
AA: im s0 mad!
GC: 1 HOP3 YOUR3 NOT TH1NK1NG OF DO1NG 4NYTH1NG 1N R3T4L14T1ON
AA: im n0t scared 0f her
AA: she cant c0ntr0l me
AA: i was distracted when i c0uld have helped him
GC: 1 W4S TOO
GC: W3 W3R3 BOTH D1STR4CT3D BY TH3 S4M3 TH1NG
AA: wh0 was he anyway
GC: PR3TTY SUR3 1T WAS VR1SKAS FR13ND
GC: H3S NOT R34LLY H3R FR13ND THOUGH
GC: YOU SHOULD S33 HOW H3 T4LKS 4BOUT H3R B3H1ND H3R B4CK
GC: SH3 H4S NO 1D34 HOW B4D H3S PL4Y1NG H3R
AA: i feel p0werless sitting here d0ing n0thing th0ugh
AA: its like she wins even if y0u get her back!
GC: DONT TH1NK OF 1T TH4T W4Y
GC: 1 KNOW HOW TO STOP H3R
AA: i guess 0ur gaming days are 0ver then
AA: us f0ur at least
GC: Y3P
You probably should listen to Terezi's advice, but you can hear the voices of her victims. They demand justice for their deaths.
Maybe if she hears them, she'll feel remorse.
Well?
AG: Well what! I am surrounded 8y ghosts and kind of fre8king out a8out it!
I'm asking what you intend to do about it.
Aren't you going to kill her?
AG: Will that make them go away?
She brought them here to torment you. This obviously warrants revenge.
You know you're going to anyway. You won't be able to help yourself.
AG: I don't have to do shit!
AG: Why don't YOU kill her! 8e my guest! Wow, thanks for offering. Wh8t a pal!
That's not how I work.
AG: Oh really, well you seemed pretty excited a8out killing Tavros too.
Not really.
I just gave you an opportunity to do something you wanted to do anyway.
AG: I know I did! I still do, I guess. I dunno.
AG: 8ut I was never gonna kill these people. They were like, off limits I guess?
Again, I didn't talk you into anything, nor am I doing so now.
I only ever place myself into positions of tangential involvement with events that will bring about my employer's entry into this universe.
AG: I'm 8eginning to think you really 8elieve that! So delusion8l. You're just a path8tic, lonely gamer who 8uys into his own character profile 8S.
The omniscient have no need for beliefs and no room for delusion.
AG: Hahahahahahahaha!
AG: You're the dum8est omniscient person I ever met.
AG: Sure you know a lot, 8ut I know for a FACT there's stuff you don't know.
The gaps in my knowledge are the pillars of shadow on which my comprehensive vision is built.
But I wonder why I waste this nuance on you.
AG: 8ecause you need to add more 8l8tant lies to patch up all the holes in your sad cover story.
I don't lie.
Deception is only necessary for those like you to achieve their objectives.
I play with my cards face up.
Isn't it funny how during our various matches, I can tell you what my moves will be in advance, and still win?
Look at that. The short amount of time I have reserved for arguing with a child has expired.
I will go.
But maybe you're right. Maybe you are a person with free will and you won't kill your friend.
He's right, of course. You can't let this go unpunished.
You just need to find the right person to punish her with...
AG: Araaaaaaaadiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaa.
AG: Nice trick! With the ghosts and all. Man, you got me pretty good.
AA: id rather n0t talk t0 y0u
AG: Anyway, hey guess what?
AG: I've got a message for you from your 8oyfriend.
AG: He's outside your hive right now!
AA: i d0nt see anything 0ut there
AG: Well ok, I'm just the messenger. If you want to risk missing him then suit yourself.
AG: L8er!!!!!!!!
Sollux??
...Sollux?
AG: Arrivederci, Megido.
arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling apocalypseArisen [AA]
NEXT CHAPTER: The White Text Guy.
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