Let's Play Hivebent
<< | ^^ | >>
Act 5 Act 1: MOB1US DOUBL3 R34CH4ROUND
Part 4: FLARP
Link back to comic: Page 2167
[ BGM - Spider's Claw ]
Some time ago!
You are about to play a game called FLARP. Being under the Extreme Role-Playing genre, one must be careful when playing, lest ye suffer serious, real-life consequences.
It's going to be Team Charge against Team Scourge, as usual.
AT: aRADIA,
AT: mY GRUB IS LAYING NOW, sO
AT: i'LL BE READY SOON,
AA: c00l!
AA: i d0nt kn0w where terezi is th0ugh
AA: shes running late
AT: oH, uHH
AT: sHOULD WE WAIT,
AA: her l0ss if she d0esnt make it
AA: itll give y0u a chance t0 gain s0me gr0und
AA: y0u picked a t0ugh class tavr0s!
AA: n0ne 0f the really useful c0mbat abilities c0me int0 play until y0u reach a very high level
AT: iT'S THE CLASS i THINK IS MOST FUN, aND, bATTLE SKILL IS NOT ALL THERE IS,
AT: tO BEING A GREAT ADVENTURER,
AA: i c0uldnt agree m0re
AA: y0u might be the 0nly flarper in the w0rld wh0 really understands the true spirit 0f the game
AT: yEAH, i GUESS,
AA: remember y0ur cl0uder isnt g0ing t0 pull any punches t0night
AA: d0nt fall f0r her mind games
AT: yEAH, i WON'T,
AT: tHANKS, aRADIA,
AA: n0 pr0blem!
The game is afoot! it is now the job of Team Scourge's Clouder to provide a challenging scenario for you, while Aradia does the same for the other side. Anything can happen now.
A bit later...
AG: Hey 8oy-Skytard, are you going to just stand there all night?
AG: Make your move, make your move, make your move!
AT: i JUST THINK,
AT: tHESE MONSTERS ARE TOO STRONG,
AG: Weak! Weaky weaky weak.
AT: wEAKY, iS THAT A REAL,
AT: tHING TO SAY,
AG: Yes. Your 8l8tant excuse making is the weakiest lame that ever shit the coward 8ed.
AG: Advance or a8scond!
AT: tHERE'S NO,
AT: uHH, aBSCONDING PLACE,
AG: 8ut a8sconding is what you do 8est!
AG: I 8n't managed to cloud a scenario yet you couldn't squawk out of in a 8lazing trail of cluck8east feathers.
AT: uHH, tHAT SOUNDS FLATTERING, tHEORETICALLY,
AT: bUT, i DON'T THINK,
AG: Make your move!
AG: Advance or a8scond, advance or a8scond!
AT: hOLD ON, fOR ONE MOMENT,
adiosToreador [AT] began trolling apocalypseArisen [AA]
AT: aRADIA,
AT: hEY,
AT: aRE YOU THERE,
AT: uHHH,
adiosToreador [AT] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]
AT: tEREZI,
AT: i HAVE A PROBLEM,
AT: uHHHHHHH,
arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling adiosToreador [AT]
AG: No one can help you, Taaaaaaaavros!
AG: ::::)
AG: Time to decide!
AG: Are you going to roll?
AT: iT'S IMPOSSIBLE FOR THERE TO BE A FAVORABLE OUTCOME,
AT: nO MATTER WHAT THE DICE DO,
AG: So, you give up?
AG: Why not roll and make it official?
AG: Why would you want to cheapsk8 me out of 8onuses like that? It's so thoughtless.
AT: uHH,
AG: Am I going to have to take matters into my own hands?
AT: i THOUGHT,
AT: yOU COULDN'T USE POWERS,
AT: i MEAN, rEAL LIFE POWERS, nOT GAME ONES,
AT: iT'S AGAINST THE RULES,
AG: 8ut if you are going to 8reak the rules and refuse to roll, what choice do I have!
AG: I h8 that it had to come to this 8ut what can I do!
AG: Fly, Pupa Pan!!!!!!!!
AG: Flyyyyyyyy!
AG: Hahahahahahahaha!
AG: Aaaaaaaahahahahahahahaha!
AG: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!
AG: Haaaaaaaahaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaa!
AG: Adios, Toreadum8ass.
AG: :::;D
arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling adiosToreador [AT]
adiosToreador [AT] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]
AT: aG JUST JUMPED ME OFF A CLIFF,
AT: wITH MY BRAIN,
AT: aND, uHH
AT: mY LEGS, aLSO,
AT: aND NOW, tHEY FEEL,
AT: iNVISIBLE,
AT: wOW, i'M SURE THERE WAS A BETTER WAY TO SAY THAT,
AT: aNYWAY,
AT: tHAT'S REALLY ALL THERE IS,
AT: tO REPORT ON THE SUBJECT,
AT: oF ME GETTING HURT,
CG: HEY ASSHOLE, STOP PLAYING GAMES FOR GIRLS.
carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling adiosToreador [AT]
AG: Psssssssst.
AG: Hey 8rave leader.
AG: Can I join your team?
CG: YES I'M GLAD YOU ASKED, BECAUSE THERE IS A WIDE OPEN SLOT FOR THE MOST VILE BACKSTABBING SOCIOPATH WHO EVER LIVED.
AG: Vile 8acksta88ing sociopath? Karkat, did you copy and p8ste that phrase directly from your personal ad descri8ing what you are looking for in a lady?
CG: HA HA HA!
CG: MORE CAGEY CUTESY BULLSHIT.
CG: LIKE I'M NOT UP TO MY LOBE STEM WITH THAT ALREADY HAVING TO DEAL WITH TEREZI.
AG: I don't see how we're supposed to 8e 8ecoming friends if you recoil from my olive 8ranch like I'm twitching a mummified 8ovine phallus in your direction.
CG: WE WILL NEVER BE FRIENDS, MORON.
CG: GET LOST.
AG: Anyway, I was just joking a8out wanting to 8e on your team.
AG: I'm already on the 8lue team.
CG: OH! OH REALLY?????
CG: WAIT, LET ME COUNT OUT EIGHT OF THESE THINGS, HOLD ON. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
CG: THERE, I AM NOW AN ENORMOUS TOOL FOREVER.
AG: Yes, Aradia and I have an arrangement. We will 8e co-leaders.
AG: What do you think, Karkat? Can you take on two dangerous laaaaaaaadies at once?
CG: NO YOU'RE JUST A RUN OF THE MILL LITTLE PSYCHO GIRL, A TROLL CAEGAR A DOZEN.
CG: JUST DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT USING YOUR MIND CONTROL TRICKS ON MY PLAYERS.
CG: REMEMBER YOUR TRUCE?
AG: Pshhhhhhhh. Those days are far 8ehind me.
AG: Anyway, I can't control just any8ody. They've got to 8e impressssssssiona8le. Like you!
AG: I find your mind totally unpalata8le to 8rowse. Looking into your 8rain is like pawing through a smelly dumpster.
CG: WHATEVER, DON'T EVEN TRY IT.
CG: I'VE GOT THE BETTER SCOURGE SISTER ON MY TEAM AND IF YOU BREAK YOUR TRUCE YOU'LL HAVE TO ANSWER TO HER.
CG: THE FUNNY THING IS SHE WAS ALWAYS WAY BETTER THAN YOU EVEN WITHOUT ANY POWERS.
CG: OH WHAT'S THAT, NOTHING TO SAY?
CG: WOW SPEECHLESS I GUESS. YOU'RE PROBABLY CRYING RIGHT NOW. THAT WOULD MAKE MY FUCKING DAY.
CG: BYE, IDIOT.
carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling arachnidsGrip [AG]
carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling arachnidsGrip [AG]
AG: Oh, 8ack so soon! Did your thum8 slip on the 8utton????????
AG: I guess you can't get enough of me.
CG: YOU MADE ME DO THAT.
CG: AND YOU KNOW IT.
AG: You 8n't got nothing on me and you can't prove shit!!!!!!!!
AG: Anyway, Karkat, I just wanted to say.
AG: <3
arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]
It's time to get this game started. You are now connected to your server player.
Your server player, however, is only getting more and more confused.
She can see everything happening in your game session, but she can't see you.
She couldn't see you until the moment of your prototyping.
Because you were dead all along.
Vriska Serket
arachnidsGrip
Interests: Extreme role playing, spiders, apocalypses, breaking magic 8 balls, luck, games
Fetch Modus: 8 Ball
You take a moment to reflect on that gorgeous drawing of your FLARP character.
She is so awesome. You wish you were her. And hey! You are her.
It's so awesome being you.
Huh?
Oh, great. Just when you were ready to get meddling, this guy showed up. You thought you were done with him.
Hello.
AG: Oh my god, why are you talking to me????????
This is the last time we'll ever talk.
AG: Still sticking with the white text I see. So smooth and stylish!
AG: I forgot how much I loved highlighting it to read all the 8oring things you have to say.
A parting courtesy, I suppose.
All the ways I've exploited you were meant to bring about the events that will take place this evening.
I've gone to great lengths, you see.
AG: You didn't exploit me.
AG: You are just a petty douche with a 8ad temper who likes to pl8y g8mes, and all I did w8s humor you.
I did exploit you, very thoroughly. It was easy.
Have I ever lost a game?
AG: Don't ch8nge the su8ject!!!!!!!!
AG: XXXXO
AG: I'm going to log off in a 8ig huff and you have to promise not to use that nasty trick where you log me 8ack on out of petty douchey spite!
There's no need for that kind of assurance.
I'll be brief.
I no longer hold you accountable for any wrongdoing. In fact, I've given your transgression very little thought since the incident.
If you acknowledge this amnesty and regard it as sincere, you may begin to find the odds falling in your favor again.
AG: I am just wearing out so many pens taking all these important notes! Fuuuuuuuuck!
AG: Fuck you for ruining all my good note-taking pens and giving me this terri8le cramp in my good note-taking hand!!!!!!!!
Incredible, the risks you take with your scorn.
But of course it was your unpleasant, simplistic temperament that made you so easy to control.
Vicious and predictable, like an insect.
AG: Blech. What a sno8. You're worse than my meddley meddler meddlefriend.
I wonder why they waste their camaraderie on you. I'll never understand it.
AG: I thought you said you would 8e 8rief????????
I'll say one last thing.
Though the magnitude of the ensuing destruction resulting directly from your actions will be neither possible or necessary for you to fathom, there nevertheless ought to be a silver lining.
The only question is whether you will live long enough to see it.
I'm not a gambling man.
But if I was, I wouldn't bet on it.
Goodbye.
AG: Zzzzzzzz. 8ye, assh8le.
God, you hate that guy.
arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA]
AG: Whaaaaaaaat.
GA: Just Wanted To Know
GA: Is Your Lusus Dead Yet
AG: Huh? What kind of question is that!
GA: Im Just Asking
GA: Because Mines Dead
AG: Really? Are you sure it wasn't sa8otage? I would suspect sa8otage if I was you.
GA: No There Was No Plot Or Conspiracy Or Any Trace Of Saboteurs Operating Through The Special And Magical Union One Can Only Describe As Being In Cahoots With Another
GA: When A Virgin Mother Grub Abdicates And Renounces Brooding
GA: Her Time Will Be Relatively Short
AG: She was so cool, you had the coolest lusus of anyone I know.
AG: Why did you ask if she's dead, anyway? Do you know something????????
GA: They Are All Dying
GA: I Believe Its A Preemptive Consequence Of The Game We Are About To Play
AG: Okaaaaaaaay, I don't really get that. So you can just go ahead think I'm some dum8 flighty 8road again.
GA: Karkat Thinks Its His Fault
GA: He Believes His Actions Triggered An Inauspicious Chain Reaction
AG: Wow, between his curse and my shitty luck we are so screwed.
GA: Im Not Surprised To See You Endorse His Paranoia Without Hesitation
GA: These Events Are Inevitable And Regardless Of Whatever Emotional Entanglements Obfuscate Their Significance They Will Ultimately Serve An Important Purpose
GA: The Curse Had Nothing To Do With It
AG: Why do you try to help me and stuff? What's the point!
AG: It's kind of bothersome. And insulting sometimes!
AG: So I have a messy room. 8ig deal. My luck fucking 8lows! It's got nothing to do with it and you just don't even know.
AG: Meddler. Why you so meddley, Miss Meddlesome McFussyfangs????????
GA: Because Youre Dangerous
GA: Lots Of People Are
GA: But It Just Means Theres Got To Be Someone Around To Keep An Eye On Them
AG: Or you know, if you're so h8gh 8nd might8 an8 th8nk you're so gr8at, m8y88 you c8uld oh I d8n't kn8w........
AG: TRY AND ST8P ME FROM DO8NG B8D THINGS????????
GA: If I Tried To Stop You You Would Regard Me As An Enemy
AG: Ok, gr8. Fine! I'm going to check on my lusus now.
GA: Just So You Know Im Sorry For Your Loss In Advance
arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA]
arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA]
AG: Aaaaaaaah!
AG: Man, why d8dn't I just get th8 last w8rd and sign off real qu8ck like I usu8lly do????????
AG: Lousy st8pid godd8mn supportive fri8nd!
arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA]
What's all the drama about? She's fine. Just as huge and hungry as ever.
NEXT TIME: Know where your towel is.
<< | ^^ | >>