Let's Play Hivebent
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Act 5 Act 1: MOB1US DOUBL3 R34CH4ROUND
Part 3: Blood Colors
Link back to comic: Page 2101
[ BGM - dESPERADO rOCKET cHAIRS, ]
Tavros Nitram
adiosToreador
Interests: Fairy tales, animals, card games, slam poetry, flight, games
Fetch Modus: Unknown
You cut to the chase and begin playing card games immediately.
It ends in naptime, and everybody wins.
In the future, your paralysis problem will be fixed by the magic of robot prosthetics.
But this isn't the future yet, so pipe down.
Back in the present, other things are happening!
Your excellent friend Gamzee is messaging you, but so is AG, who is kind of scary.
arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling adiosToreador [AT]
AG: Taaaaaaaavros.
AG: Red team is going to 8ite the dust!
AG: My team's got no use for a 8oy that can't make no use of his legs!
AT: oK, yOU'RE PROBABLY RIGHT ABOUT THAT,
AT: bUT i SHOULDN'T BE TALKING TO YOU,
AT: i PROMISED I WOULDN'T TALK TO YOU ANYMORE,
AG: Whaaaaaaaat. Promised who?
AT: rUFIO,
AG: Omg, who's that????????
AG: I h8 this guy already!
AT: sOMEONE SAID i SHOULD GIVE MY SELF ESTEEM A NAME,
AT: aND TO BE CAREFUL ABOUT WHAT i SAY, tO MAKE SURE i DON'T HURT HIS FEELINGS,
AG: Haha! So he's imaginary! A fake.
AG: Who told you to do something so fraudulent?
AT: gA,
AT: bUT i DON'T KNOW IF SHE WAS JOKING ABOUT IT,
AG: Oh maaaaaaaan, what a meddler.
AG: I h8 her meddling! Why is she always meddling?
AG: Next time tell her to can it! That's what I do.
AG: But she keeps 8ugging me. 8ugging and fussing and meddling. What's her deal!
AG: Anyway Tavros, you've been amazingly 8oring as usual, so I'm going to go.
AT: oKAY,
AG: This show needs to get on the freaking road.
AG: 8elieve it or not, the 8lue team doesn't have a single player in the session yet!
AG: Ok, anyway, good luck to you. It will be just like old tiiiiiiiimes.
AG: :::;)
AG: Adios, Toreasnore!!!!!!!!
arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling adiosToreador [AT]
AT: bYE,
terminallyCapricious [TC] began trolling adiosToreador [AT]
TC: mOtHeRfUcK mY bRoThEr, Im So SoRrY i KiNd Of ZoNeD oUt ThErE.
AT: i WASN'T EXPECTING YOU TO NOT BE ZONED OUT FOR ANY REASON.
AT: sO i GUESS, i DON'T UNDERSTAND YOUR APOLOGY.
TC: i JuSt ZoNeD oUt WhEn I wAs SuPpOsEd To Be AlL aBoUt BeInG tO tElL yOu YoU'rE aLl On My TeAm.
TC: :o) hOnK hOnK hOnK
AT: oK, tHAT'S GREAT, i JUST HEARD ABOUT THIS,
AT: fROM SOMEONE i DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT,
AT: bUT IT STILL BASICALLY QUALIFIES AS GOOD NEWS,
AT: mAYBE WE CAN SLAM ABOUT IT,
TC: YeAh, I cOuLd KiCk ThE sHiT oUt Of SoMe RhYmEs BrO.
TC: aLl StIr Up SoMe FuCkIn HeLl MiRtH aNd RiP oPeN a FuCkIn BaG oF hArShWhImSy.
TC: bUt FiRsT hErE's ThE tHiNg WiTh ThE gAmE.
AT: oH YEAH, i ALMOST FORGOT, aBOUT,
AT: tHE RED TEAM GAME,
TC: YeAh Ok If I rEmEmBeR rIgHt ThIs Is HoW wE'rE jUgGlInG tHiS sHiT.
TC: TeReZi CoNnEcTeD tO kArKaT, sO hE's FuCkIn ChIlL.
TC: tHeN i'M sUpPoSeD tO cOnNeCt To HeR sOoN tO gEt HeR aLl ChIlL tOo.
TC: So In ThE mEaN mOtHeRfUcKiN tImE i'M sUpPoSeD tO gEt YoU tO cOnNeCt To Me.
AT: oKAY, i'LL DO THAT, aND,
AT: iN THE MEANTIME, sHALL i,
AT: cUE UP THE,
AT: sTRICT BEATS????? }:D
TC: HoW sTrIcT aRe ThOsE bEaTs At, MoThErFuCkEr?
TC: TeLl Me MoRe WhIlE i GeT mY rEaCh On FoR tHiS fRoStY bReW.
AT: oKAY,
AT: iMAGINE AN ARRAY OF BEATS THAT SET LIMITS,
AT: tHEY GOT A RULEBOOK, iT DOESN'T PAY TO SKIM IT,
AT: bECAUSE, tHERE'S NOT A LOT OF LATITUDE,
AT: tHEY WON'T STAND FOR AN ATTITUDE,
AT: aND, cROSSING THEM'S A HABIT YOU'D,
AT: (nOT REALLY WANT TO GET INTO BECAUSE, uHH),
AT: tHEY'D GET PRETTY MAD AT YOU,
TC: fUuUuCk, So FuCkIn FrEsH.
TC: YoU nEeD tO bE sLaPpEd FuCkIn SiLlY wItH a MoUtH lIkE tHaT! hAhA.
TC: JuSt LeT mE sNeAk Up On ThIs BoTtLe Of FaYgO aNd SnAp ItS nEcK lIkE iM a FuCkIn LaUgHsSaSsIn.
TC: oK.
TC: ArE tHoSe BeAtS sTiLl ChIlL?
AT: yEAH,
TC: aRe ThEy MoThErFuCkIn StRiCt???
AT: yEAHHHHH,
TC: AiGhT.
TC: cRaCk......
TC: HiSsSsSsSsSsSsSs.
TC: mOtHeRfUcKiN kIcK iT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You then proceed to have one of the worst rap-offs in the history of paradox space.
It's time for your lusus to be born.
After ages of communicating through dreams, learning how to survive without sight, it's time.
In case it isn't clear, dragons are real.
But all of your lusii are doomed. She barely made it out of the egg.
Aradia Megido
apocalypseArisen
Interests: N/A
Fetch Modus: Ouija
It is not up to you what items are procured from your sylladex. That honor goes to the spirits of the dead.
This time, it procured this bizarrely-shaped alien laptop you found when you were younger.
Looks like somebody's getting in touch with you. You're OK with that.
GA: So I Guess Tonight Is The Night You Blow Everything Up
GA: Is There Nothing I Can Do To Change Your Mind
AA: yes theres n0thing
AA: and n0 y0u cant
AA: but y0u sh0uldnt pretend as if y0u believe this has anything t0 d0 with the state 0f my mind
AA: 0r the decisi0ns it will make 0r has already made
GA: Yeah I Guess Not
GA: I Thought Id Be Friendly Though
GA: And Remind You That You Do In Fact Have A Hand In All The Terrible Things That Are About To Happen
GA: Because Thats What Friends Are For
GA: Ill Be Here To Help
GA: If You Need Me
AA: 0k
AA: thanks
Later, you're on top of Sollux's hive.
But it looks like someone else is trolling you.
arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling apocalypseArisen [AA]
AG: Araaaaaaaadiiiiiiiia!
AA: 0h b0y thats way t00 many of the same letter in a r0w twice
AG: So we're a8out to get started right?
AG: Have you tricked Sollux yet?
AA: its n0t like that
AG: Ok, whatever. The point is.
AG: Once you have pulled the finely woven silken mesh over his dum8 different colored eyes, you and I will start playing the game and 8e the 8lue team leaders.
AG: That's how this will work right????????
AG: Wait do you mind if we are co-leaders? I forgot to ask! I just assumed it was ok with you.
AA: i d0nt care
AG: And when I 8ring you into the game, whatever the hell that means, then we can send each other stuff right? That is how this works right?
AA: yes
AG: Awesome!
AG: 8ecause I have a present for you. It's a surprise, and it's going to 8e great. From me to you.
AA: 0k well im sure it will be very th0ughtful
AG: I just thought it would 8e really fitting.
AG: Kind of like a fresh start, you know?
AG: I don't know, what are our shared interests? I guess I never really thought a8out this! I guess I'm used to thinking of you as the enemy. There must 8e some overlap in profiles.
AG: Man, it'll 8e great. We'll 8e unstoppa8le. Surely you must admit it will 8e nice to re8ound from the Team Charge de8acle!
AA: i never think ab0ut that anym0re
AG: Oh maaaaaaaan, I'm so dum8! Here I am running my mouth and opening up old wounds, while at the very same time trying to make amends! What an idiot.
AG: Hey speaking of which, that loser isn't going to 8e on the 8lue team is he?
AG: Your old team 8uddy.
AA: n0
AG: Oh thank fucking goodness! Talk a8out dead weight. You made the right choice, leader! I mean co-leader.
AA: i didnt exclude him f0r that reas0n
AA: 0r at all
AA: y0ure just n0t getting it
AA: y0u never listen
AG: Man, now I've got this huge 8eefgrub lodged in my nook just thinking a8out him.
AG: I'm going to go give him a hard time.
AG: Let me know when you're live! Later.
arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling apocalypseArisen [AA]
AA: d0nt d0 that its really childish
AA: uh w0w
twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling apocalypseArisen [AA]
TA: aradiia ii would liike two apologiize, ii flew off the handle there.
TA: iit wa2 liike the handle wa2 a bald guy goiing really fa2t, and ii wa2 hii2 twoupee.
TA: ii hope we are 2tiill friiend2.
AA: yes we are
TA: 2o anyway, ii thiink even though ii quiit a2 leader iim 2tiill goiing two play the game now.
AA: y0u cant s0llux
AA: n0t yet
TA: oh my god!!!
TA: youre goiing two giive me 2hiit agaiin???
TA: after ii crawled on my belly liike that all groveliing at you.
TA: liike 2ome low cla22 guy wiith... whatever color blood ii2 lower on the hiierarchy than miine.
TA: what2 wor2e than yellow?
AA: c0me t0 the wind0w
TA: why.
AA: because im 0utside
TA: ii dont 2ee anythiing out there.
AA: c0me cl0ser y0ull see me
TA: god ii am ju2t bulge deep iin the fecal matter of a wiildly iincontiinent hoofbea2t but ok, iill iindulge you.
TA: here ii go!
Nap time.
By the time you wake up, everyone else will have entered the Medium. You will be the last player to join, and your long slumber will provide a number of critical prophetic dreams.
Ackpth...
...the mind honey.
YOU DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES EAT THE MIND HONEY
Nepeta Lejion
arsenicCatnip
Interests: Friendly role-playing, great beasts, comics, shipping, games
Fetch Modus: Unknown
Pounce de Leon is the best and most adorable lusus in the world. It will be sad when she inevitably dies.
For the meantime, someone is messaging you.
carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]
CG: HEY.
AC: :33 < *ac perks up curiously*
AC: :33 < *she wiggles her rear end a bit and then chases something she s33s bounce into one of karkats shoes*
CG: KARKAT CAN'T BELIEVE HE HAS TO SINK THIS LOW.
CG: KARKAT MYSTIFIES IN INFINITE BEFUDDLEMENT OVER THE FACT THAT YOU ARE PRESENTLY THE BEST REMAINING CANDIDATE FOR THE RED TEAM.
AC: :33 < *ac gathers up all the brick pieces and builds a cute little house and invites karkat inside*
CG: OK GOOD, IT'S GOOD THAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT BUILDING.
CG: EVEN IF IT'S IN THE MOST INANE POSSIBLE CONTEXT.
CG: YOU'RE GOING TO BE DOING A LOT OF IT.
AC: :33 < ok what do i do?
CG: OK, BRIEFING:
CG: ME, TEREZI, GAMZEE AND TAVROS ARE ALL PLAYING NOW.
CG: THE CONNECTION ORDER IS AT -> TC -> GC -> CG.
CG: WE NEED SOMEONE TO CONNECT TO TOREADOR AND GET HIM IN THE GAME.
CG: TEREZI SAID SHE HAD YOU LINED UP TO PLAY BACK WHEN SHE WAS THE FAKE LEADER, SO I SAID FINE.
CG: SO JUST CONNECT TO TAVROS AND LATER WE'LL WORRY ABOUT GETTING YOU IN.
AC: :33 < alright! i will talk to him about that
AC: :33 < oh
AC: :33 < i forgot i have to talk to someone else about this
AC: :33 < i have b33n purrcrastinating :((
CG: OH GOD.
CG: HOW CAN YOU BE BEST FRIENDS WITH THE ONLY GUY ON THE PLANET WHO'S A BIGGER ASSHOLE THAN ME.
AC: :33 < hes not so bad!
CG: HE'S SCUM.
CG: BUT DO WHATEVER YOU'VE GOT TO DO I GUESS.
arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling centaursTesticle [CT]
AC: :33 < *ac twitches her friendly whiskers at ct*
AC: :33 < *ct purrplexes over where he put that important wrench that he n33ded for building a fancy robot or something*
CT: D --> What are you e%pecting to accomplish with this
CT: D --> This is f001ishness upon one hundred thousand prior, equally unsolicited f001ishnesses
CT: D --> You'll stop now
AC: XOO < rawwrrrrr
AC: :33 < youre so lame!
CT: D --> No I'm not
AC: :33 < youve never played a fun purrtend game with me ever even once!
AC: :33 < even karkat does it sometimes, even if he does mean it in a grumpy and insincere way
CT: D --> Don't pol100t my incoming data stream with his name, or any sort of e%cremental language you pick up from his ilk
AC: :33 < i s33 right through your stupid act, who are you trying to kid!
AC: :33 < look how you go out of your way to use words that have x's in them so that you can use your silly purrcent signs
AC: :33 < or use these absurd words that you can shoehorn a '100' into, even if its not strictly replacing 'loo'!!!
CT: D --> If you're 100king for a 100phole through which you may e%tract concessions from me, you'll have to 100k elsewhere
CT: D --> Your fraternization with the base classes have 100sened your morals, can't you see this
AC: :33 < no! i dont care, they are fun
AC: :33 < and i dont know anything about classes or bases or blood color, it doesn't matter!
AC: :33 < what does gr33n blood even mean! it doesnt mean anything to me and it shouldnt mean anything to anyone else!
CT: D --> Well, green b100d is ok, but it's not great
AC: :33 < rawrgh, you are such a hypurrcrite!
AC: :33 < you pretend to be so high and mighty but i know you're not and i know you like games
AC: :33 < look at that silly little bow and arrow you always type!
CT: D --> Archery is among the highest and most e%ceptional crafts, held in tremendous regard by the most a100f classes for centuries
AC: :33 < you suck at archery
CT: D --> No I don't
AC: :33 < have you ever even successfully fired an arrow?
AC: :33 < like actually got one to leave the bow??
CT: D --> I think
CT: D --> We need to stop talking about archery
CT: D --> The topic is making me
CT: D --> Sweat
AC: :33 < youre so gross
AC: :33 < thats why youre lucky to have me to k33p an eye on you
AC: :33 < no one else can stand you!
CT: D --> You e%terminate beautiful, innocent creatures by the hundreds
AC: :33 < i eat them!
AC: :33 < i dont kill anything i dont eat, that would be mean
CT: D --> You're wrong about me, Nepeta
CT: D --> As it happens I have arranged to play just such a game tonight
CT: D --> Aradia and I have a private engagement to be co-leaders of the b100 team
AC: :33 < *and by a purrsnickety twist of fate, she will be on the R33D TEAM, with her other great friends who like to play their childish diaperpoop games!!!!*
CT: D --> I forbid this
CT: D --> You will take your position on the b100 team with me
CT: D --> I'm afraid you're too delicate to withstand that sort of corruption
AC: :33 < why do you do this, why are you so confurdent about your stupid commands?
AC: :33 < dont you know you cant ACTUALLY tell me what to do??
CT: D --> And yet
CT: D --> You will do as I say
CT: D --> You will join me on my team shortly
CT: D --> Stand by for further instru%ion
AC: :33 < hisssssssss!
CT: D --> You're angry, and I appreciate that
CT: D --> But it doesn't matter
CT: D --> Di%ussion over
AC: :33 < :((
AC: :33 < *ac curls up in tavroses lap*
AT: oKAY, *i,
AT: fOR THE SAKE OF THIS FANTASY SCENARIO, i PRETEND,
AT: tHAT MY CAT ALLERGIES AREN'T THAT BAD,*
AC: :33 < tavros im sorry i cant be on your team :((
AC: :33 < im not allowed
AT: oH,
AT: tHAT'S OKAY,
AT: tHEN i GUESS HE SAID NO, tHEN,
AC: :33 < yes unfurtunately
AC: :33 < rarg im so mad!
AT: iT'S PROBABLY FOR THE BEST,
AT: tHAT YOU LISTEN TO HIM,
AC: :33 < you think so?
AT: iF YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO HIM BEFORE,
AT: yOU MIGHT HAVE PLAYED GAMES WITH US BEFORE,
AT: aND SOMETHING BAD MIGHT HAVE HAPPENED TO YOU,
AC: :33 < hmm purrhaps
AC: :33 < but i still f33l bad
AT: i'LL FIND ANOTHER PLAYER, iT'S NOT A BIG DEAL,
AT: gOOD LUCK, bEING,
AT: oN THE BLUE TEAM,
AC: :33 < ok thanks :((
NEXT TIME: Extreme role-playing!
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