Let's Play Homestuck
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Act 5 Act 2: He Is Already Here.
Part 12: Quest Objectives
Link back to comic: Page 3049
-- adiosToreador [AT] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG] --
AT: hEEEY, jADE,
GG: oh hi!
GG: i remember you, you talked to me a lot in my dreams
AT: yEAH, bUT NOW i'M TALKING TO YOU BEING AWAKE,
AT: bECAUSE,
AT: yOUR ROBOT CAN'T TYPE,
AT: bECAUSE IT HAD AN EXPLOSION,
GG: yup!
GG: thats because my dream self died
AT: i SPENT SO LONG SLEEPING AND DREAMING AND PLAYING ON PROSPIT,
AT: tHAT BEING AWAKE WAS MADE TO FEEL WEIRD, aND i DIDN'T LIKE IT FOR A WHILE,
AT: aFTER A CERTAIN MOMENT, i SPENT JUST ABOUT EVERY WAKING HOUR BEING ASLEEP,
GG: wow why did you sleep so much???
AT: tHERE WAS SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED THAT WAS INCREDIBLY TERRIBLE,
AT: aND SAD,
AT: aND MADE ME FEEL TERRIBLE AND SAD AND SLEEPY, sO i SLEPT, a LOT,
GG: what did you want to talk about?
AT: i WANTED TO ASK YOU PERMISSION,
AT: tO COMMUNE WITH YOUR LUSUS,
AT: i WOULD HAVE ASKED PERMISSION THE FIRST TIME,
AT: bUT AT THE TIME YOU WERE NOT ABLE TO GIVE IT, oR TALK OR ANYTHING,
GG: with bec?
GG: uh....
GG: what do you mean by commune?
GG: and
GG: what do you mean the first time!
AT: iT MEANS TO TALK TO HIM, aND, sUGGEST HE DO SOMETHING WHICH IS GOOD,
AT: fOR HIM, aND ALSO FOR PEOPLE HE LIKES,
GG: like a psychic power??
GG: pretty sweet!
GG: when did you do it before?
AT: oH, vERY RECENTLY, pERSONALLY SPEAKING,
AT: bUT FOR YOU IT WAS VERY LONG AGO,
AT: aND, iT WAS A REALLY GOOD EXAMPLE i THINK,
AT: oF EXACTLY WHY WIGGLERS SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO DUAL WIELD FLINTLOCK PISTOLS,
GG: hehe what?
AT: sO, i DID THE LIBERTY OF COMMUNING WITH YOUR LUSUS,
AT: sO THEN i COMMUNED HIM TO USE HIS AMAZING POWERS, tO,
AT: iNTERVENE,
AT: aND REROUTE THE PROJECTILE AWAY FROM THE PATH THAT WOULD HAVE HARMED YOU,
AT: aND ALSO,
AT: aS A WONDERFUL BONUS AND COINCIDENCE,
AT: iT HAPPENED THERE WAS A FELON ON YOUR PROPERTY,
AT: iT WAS i THINK SURELY AN AGING ROGUE WHO WAS VERY MUCH KEEN ON INTRUDING BETWEEN YOUR REALLY NICE LOOKING FAMILY,
AT: aND AS FORTUNE WOULD HAVE IT,
AT: tHE SMALL MISSILE WAS REDIRECTED INTO THE SENIOR INTERLOPER'S CHEST,
AT: aND HE DIED,
AT: }:)
GG: omg......
GG: that wasnt a senior interloper, im pretty sure youre talking about my grandpa!!!
GG: youre saying you used bec to make me shoot him???
GG: augh thats so awful!
AT: uHH,
AT: wHAT'S,
AT: a GRANDPA,
GG: ok it is basically an old man, who serves the same role as i guess a lusus does on your planet?
GG: he was like my dad, he took care of me!
AT: wHOA,
AT: sORRY THEN,
AT: aBOUT,
AT: mY CULTURAL IGNORANCE,
GG: well im not blaming you or anything
GG: it sounds like you were just trying to help
GG: and you did save my life
GG: but......
GG: i mean jeeeez
AT: nOW i FEEL VERY STUPID,
AT: bUT,
AT: i DON'T THINK i WILL GIVE INTO BAD SELF ESTEEM THIS TIME ABOUT THIS,
AT: aND i THINK THIS IS A GOOD OPPORTUNITY FOR US TO BOND, aND BECOME CLOSER IN AN EMOTIONAL WAY,
AT: oH YES, sEE THE FUNNY THING IS, i ALSO KILLED MY LUSUS BY ACCIDENT,
GG: oh nooo
GG: how did that happen?
AT: i MURDERED HIM INAPPROPRIATELY WITH A FOUR WHEEL DEVICE,
AT: i WAS SITTING IN IT, bEING CRIPPLED LIKE USUAL,
AT: aND HE GOT UNDER THE WHEEL IN HIS NAP,
GG: D:
GG: im so sorry
GG: um also
GG: i didnt realize you were paralyzed
GG: not that im saying sorry for that! that would be rude i think
GG: i am just saying sorry for your loss
AT: i'M NOT PARALYZED ANYMORE, }:)
AT: nO, i HAVE ROBOT LEGS, aND i FEEL GREAT, aND i CAN WALK,
AT: bEING NOT PHYSICALLY HANDICAPPED IS MOST CERTAINLY THE KEY TO HAVING HIGH SELF ESTEEM,
GG: um
GG: i dont know if i agree with that!
AT: oH ABSOLUTELY, tAKE IT FROM ME AS WHAT FACT IS TRUE,
AT: aND NOW, i FEEL EMBOLDENED TO DO BOLD THINGS THAT HEROES SHOULD DO,
AT: lIKE, sAVE THE LIFE OF A PRETTY GIRL, AND KILL THE FIENDISH OLD MAN, wHO,
AT: wHOOPS, wASN'T FIENDISH, aND YOU LOVED HIM, sORRY,
GG: i just wish...
GG: maybe you'd told me what happened when i was younger?
GG: i spent years wondering about it!
AT: wOW, yEAH,
AT: i,
AT: tOTALLY BLEW THAT THEN,
AT: bUT YEAH, iRREGARDLESS,
AT: tHIS IS LIKELY TO BE EXACTLY THE KIND OF THING NOT TO STAND IN THE WAY ABOUT GOOD FEELINGS ABOUT MYSELF,
AT: i JUST WANTED,
AT: tO MAKE IT POSSIBLE SO THAT i WAS THE ONE INVOLVED WITH BEING THE HERO THERE,
AT: tO SAVE YOU,
AT: lIKE, tO PUT MYSELF IN YOUR STORY, iN A BRAVE CAPACITY, bECAUSE,
AT: tHAT'S WHAT FEELING GOOD AND POSITIVE ABOUT YOURSELF IS ALL ABOUT,
GG: woooooow...
GG: you sound really confused to me!
AT: fEELING GREAT ABOUT YOURSELF IS NOT A JOKING ISSUE,
AT: iT IS HEAVY DUTY BUSINESS, aND NEEDS TO BE GIVEN ALL THE SERIOUSNESS THAT SAD THINGS GET,
AT: i'VE LEARNED THAT, fROM MY FRIENDS, AND ALSO, FROM RUFIO,
GG: rufio?
AT: a FAKE GUY i MADE UP IMAGINARILY,
AT: hE NEVER STOPS BEING A THING THAT'S NOT REAL,
AT: i'M PRETENDING THAT BEING FULLY HONEST ABOUT RUFIO'S FAKENESS, AND,
AT: bEING UP FRONT ABOUT HIS GENERAL FRAUDULENCE, tHAT IT WILL ONLY GIVE ME EXTRA CONFIDENCE,
GG: that
GG: sure is a philosophy you have there!
AT: yES, bEING CONFIDENT IS ALWAYS ABOUT SAYING AND DOING THE THINGS YOU FEEL,
AT: eVEN IF THE AFRAID PART OF YOU SAYS, nO, pLEASE DON'T DO THAT,
AT: lIKE, uHHHHHHH,
AT: hERE IS A THING i'M AFRAID TO SAY TO YOU, jADE,
GG: oh??
AT: rEMEMBER, i TALKED TO YOU A LOT WHEN YOU WERE SLEEPING,
AT: wE TALKED ABOUT LOTS OF THINGS, aND WE HAD SOME THINGS IN COMMON, aND IT WAS NICE,
AT: aND i THINK CONSEQUENTLY, tHE EMOTIONAL RESULT IS PROBABLY,
AT: tHAT MAYBE i HAVE SOME POSSIBLE RED FEELINGS FOR YOU,
GG: red feelings?
GG: you mean
GG: whoooooaaaaaa
GG: wait
GG: really? :o
AT: wOW, tHAT SURE WAS A HARD THING TO SAY AND MADE ME INCREDIBLY NERVOUS,
AT: bUT i SAID IT BECAUSE OF MY REMARKABLE LEG-POWERED SELF CONFIDENCE,
AT: aND NOW i THINK ALL THAT'S LEFT IS DEFINITELY YOUR RECIPROCATION ABOUT THAT, pROBABLY,
GG: um.................
GG: i dont think i can reciprocate!
GG: youre nice
GG: but i dont really know you...
GG: i dont even know your name!
GG: i dont know if youve fully thought about this!
AT: i'M TAVROS,
AT: dID,
AT: i MISINTERPRET THAT, wAS IT NOT ACTUALLY NICENESS,
GG: i like to be nice to people when i can, and when they are nice to me
GG: but......
GG: things are a little more complicated than that, you cant know someone just by a few conversations!
GG: sorry, i feel bad about having to disappoint you...
GG: but i dont know what else to say
AT: bUT WHAT ABOUT,
AT: mY ATTRACTIVE BRAVADO,
AT: aND IGNORING MY INSTINCTUAL COWARDICE HARD ENOUGH TO SAY THAT i LIKE YOU,
GG: tavros i am really flattered you like me and all
GG: and that sure is confident of you to say so! and thats great buuuut...
GG: i guess confidence is one thing but there is such a thing as being toooo forward i guess?
GG: i aaaalso think...
GG: and really this is just polite friendly advice!
GG: that if youre really confident you dont always have to say it all the time
GG: it just comes of as a little insecure and off putting and kind of defeats the purpose!
GG: and all things considered i think we should just stay friends
GG: sorry :C
AT: nO, nO, iF i'M BEING REALISTIC i THINK THAT'S WHAT'S REASONABLE TO SAY TO ME,
AT: aND i'LL WORK ON TONING DOWN MY SELF RESPECT A LITTLE,
GG: aaaah no! you should have self respect
GG: just...
GG: why dont we get back to the original point
GG: why do you want to commune with bec again?
AT: i WANTED TO GET APPROVAL FROM YOU, tO COMMUNE HIM AGAIN,
AT: i WILL SUGGEST TO HIM THAT HE ATTACK YOUR ADVERSARY,
AT: aND MAYBE BEAT HIM, tO SOLVE EVERYBODY'S PROBLEMS,
GG: wow, i dunno about that!
GG: and you have already managed to get one of my family members killed
AT: bUT ACCORDING TO MY SELF CONFIDENCE, i THINK i'M PRETTY SURE i CAN USE HIS POWER TO BE SUCCESSFUL,
AT: wHOOPS, PRETEND i DIDN'T MENTION MY SELF CONFIDENCE, oR SAY ANYTHING OFF PUTTING,
GG: but all of our adversaries have inherited his powers!
GG: i would imagine the strongest guy would have all of his powers, and then some!!!
GG: you said you are asking me permission first and i appreciate that
GG: but if you are asking im afraid my answer is no!
AT: i WONDER IF A TRULY SELF CONFIDENT GUY, wITH THE BEST SELF ESTEEM THERE IS, wOULD EVEN NEED TO ASK,
AT: mAYBE THE BEST GUY WOULD JUST KNOW HE WOULD BE SUCCESSFUL, aND WOULD DO IT ANYWAY BECAUSE IT IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, aND EVERYONE ELSE'S,
GG: no way!
GG: that would be smug and arrogant and would make you a bully!!!
GG: later if my friends and i want to ask bec for help and decide thats our best hope, then thats our business
GG: until then, just please stop meddling!!!!!!
AT: sORRY, }:(
AT: i GUESS US BECOMING A FRIENDSHIP DOESN'T HAVE TO HAPPEN NOW,
GG: i have to go now
GG: bye tavros
-- gardenGnostic [AT] ceased trolling adiosToreador [AT] --
arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling adiosToreador [AT]
AG: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
AG: Oh my god, I cannot 8elieve how hilariously pathetic that whole exchange was.
AG: Even 8y your wretched standards, Toreadork!
AT: hOW COULD YOU EVEN BE READING THAT,
AG: Next time you decide to open your heart to an alien girl........
AG: Make sure her chat client isn't 8eing holographically projected for all to see, ok?
AG: Jade let you down too easy. She's too nice! Someone's got to tear into you for that appalling display, and once again, guess who's shoulders that falls on?
AG: That's right. Vriska's, as usual.
AT: i THINK SHE HAS THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF NICENESS, pERSONALLY,
AT: aN AMOUNT THAT IS SOME, iNSTEAD OF,
AT: nONE,
AG: Really I don't know what you see in her. She is completely useless, like you.
AG: W8, of course!!!!!!!! It makes perfect sense. You and she represent the ideal matespritship, how could I have 8een so 8lind!
AT: nO, i HAVE TOO MUCH SELF CONFIDENCE NOW TO BE UPSET BY YOUR SCANDALOUS IMAGERY,
AT: i DON'T THINK SHE IS USELESS,
AT: aND i DON'T THINK i AM EITHER,
AG: I will say this much a8out her, she was right a8out that. How insuffera8le can you get, prattling on and on a8out how confident you are.
AG: Tavros, you give confidence a 8ad name. I gave you all the chances in the world to earn it, to earn REAL confidence, and you failed.
AG: You couldn't even do the one little thing I asked you to! The one thing that would have made you man up once and for all.
AG: So instead you flew away and cried, and decided to sleep away your sorrow for the rest of the adventure.
AG: Do you have any idea how sick that made me? Everything a8out you makes me sick.
AT: tHIS IS ACTUALLY MAKING ME PRETTY MAD,
AT: i DON'T KNOW IF MY CONFIDENCE IS REAL, oR WHAT,
AT: bUT i WOULD LIKE YOU TO STOP SAYING STUFF LIKE THAT TO ME,
AT: aND TO STOP SAYING BAD THINGS ABOUT MY FRIEND JADE, tOO,
AG: Ok, Tavros, I gave her credit for something, so I'll give you credit for something too.
AG: Your plan to control her lusus really wasn't a 8ad idea!
AG: And using your a8ility to "save her life" (lol) was a pretty good way to test how effective your powers are across sessions.
AG: Practicing your a8ilities is important, so when it comes down to using them for something that really matters, you know you're ready for prime time.
AG: I got lots and lots and LOTS of practice with your little guinea pig friend. ::::D
AG: So really, turns out she wasn't so useless at all! Far from it.
AT: wHOA, wHAT,
AT: aRE YOU SAYING YOU DID TO HER,
AG: At this point, you are so sad and disgusting, you should treat anything nice anyone has to say a8out you like a chest full of shimmering 8oon8ucks.
AG: Controlling the guardian to go after Jack was a fine idea. Sure would stir some shit up! 8etter than 8eing an insignificant stuttering piece of trash all the time, I say.
AG: And you were definitely on to something a8out doing it "irregardless" (lol) of her wishes.
AG: There's really just one catch.
AG: The catch is it's not going to work!
AT: uHH,
AT: wHY,
AG: The guardian is not going to attack the agents who engineered him in the first place.
AG: Or who I should say were "encouraged" (lol) to engineer him.
AG: I just sort of gave them an idea. Nudged them along in the direction of seizing more power, which they wanted to do anyway.
AT: wHY WOULD YOU DO THAT,
AG: Tavros, at this point it should 8e o8vious.
AG: I am the unseen hand 8ehind every major event in their session, and to some extent, their whole lives.
AT: i DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO SAY ALL THE WAYS i THINK THAT IS CRAZY,
AG: 8ut you must agree, 8ecause you were copycatting my idea.
AG: You were 8razenly inserting yourself into Jade's history. The self-insertion plan was my idea, and it's revolting and cowardly for you to deny it.
AG: I have every angle covered already. The human session is on full Serket lockdown. Any effort you make to disrupt my plans will 8e laugha8le, just like everything you have ever done in your life.
AG: The only thing left to do now is prepare to kill Jack myself, and save everyone's ungrateful asses.
AG: It's a shame you're not strong enough to take him on with me.
AT: aLL OF YOUR USUAL INSULTING THINGS ASIDE, mY TAKE ON THIS IS,
AT: tHAT YOU CREATED OUR IMPOSSIBLY HARD BAD GUY, wHO WANTS TO KILL US,
AT: aND BY ASSOCIATION, i GUESS THAT MAKES,
AT: yOU THE BAD GUY TOO,
AG: Nice deduction!
AG: Wrong, excruci8tingly linear, and laced with the sort of a8solutes morons like to throw around........
AG: 8ut nice!
AT: aND THAT BEING THE CASE,
AT: eVEN THOUGH i'M TERRIFIED OF YOU,
AT: aND nOT AS STRONG,
AT: i THINK,
AT: i AM GOING TO HAVE TO STOP YOU,
AG: Yeah! That's the spirit.
AG: Tell you what.
AG: If you can find me in this la8, you can have at me.
AG: I'll even give you a free shot! No funny 8usiness or anything.
AG: I'll 8e w8ing. <3
Having done the windy thing and saved your planet, you ascend to the highest rung of your echeladder! Boondollars fly.
[S] John: Enter village.
More interactivity, hooray!
VRISKA: CONGRATUL8TIONS!!!!!!!!
JOHN: that windy thing? did i actually do that somehow?
VRISKA: FOR GAINING ALL THE LEVELS!!!!!!!! ::::O
JOHN: so i guess that's it, then! don't have to worry about leveling up anymore. that's pretty neat.
VRISKA: Don't 8e ridiculous, John.
VRISKA: While you may have technically gained all the levels just now, you did not truly gain ALL of them just yet.
VRISKA: Yes. You are now ready to 8egin your ascent through the god tiers.
JOHN: wow, really?
JOHN: ok, what do i do?
VRISKA: The thing is, from this point on, you can't make any progress while you're awake. So you've got to get to sleep!
VRISKA: You must find your Quest 8ed, John.
JOHN: that sounds pretty cool. where is it?
VRISKA: Not too far away! 8ut rather than me telling you, why don't you talk to the locals and ask around?
VRISKA: I've helped you get this far, 8ut at some point you are going to have to start taking some steps all 8y yourself. I think you're ready for that!
VRISKA: If you make the right decisions and play all your cards right, hell, you might even wind up at a higher tier than I did!
VRISKA: I hope this turns out to 8e the case. I am rooting for you all the way. Now get going and find that 8ed!!!!!!!!
JOHN: ok, i will! thanks a lot, vriska!
There's a salamander village up here!
They all seem pretty pumped about the "Heir" who just saved them from the green inferno. They also seem to not know it was you!
Wow, Fraymotifs are expensive! You would be able to buy the cheapest one, but...
Dave talked you into giving him one of your Boonbucks.
STRRIIIIIIIIIIIDEEEERRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!
These salamanders are extremelly silly.
But, after much exploration...
...you have found your Quest Bed!
EB: ok, i think i'm ready to take this legendary nap!
EB: and then climb the god tiers, i guess?
AG: Yes, exactly! Pretty exciting, isn't it?
EB: maybe it is a little TOO exciting.
EB: i am not sleepy at all!
AG: John.
AG: Would you like me to put you to sleep?
EB: um...
EB: you mean, you're asking me this time, instead of just doing it?
EB: what happened to you wanting to be responsible for me becoming a hero!
AG: I am giving you the option, 8ecause at some point a hero has to start making choices.
AG: The choices you make affect the destiny of the universe you cre8te, as well as the type of hero you 8ecome.
AG: I had to do this a much less pleasant way. I'm sparing you that indignity.
AG: So what'll it 8e, John?
EB: well...
EB: i'm supposed to go to sleep to realize my destiny...
EB: and you have the ability to make me do that, so...
AG: Am I hearing a "yes," John?
EB: yes, that is my decision.
EB: vriska, please put me to sleep!
AG: You got it. <3
Characters Jack Has Killed
Black Queen, Black King, Everyone on Prospit, Jade, Everyone on Prospit again, all the trolls, Bro, John
AG: 8888)
NEXT CHAPTER: What.
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