Random things ( Read more... )

I was digging through old pictures yesterday, trying to find a glimpse of your face. I hate that I miss you sometimes. I don't for a second wish that my life was any different than it is right now but... fuck I just... I wish I could see you. I have no reason at all to miss you because in the scheme of things we barely knew each other and that ( Read more... )

I resolved to update more so here I go ( Read more... )

Things are getting better. Much better. They feel like they used to which is a huge change from the last little while. It's been a month of strain, almost not being able to stand each other. Too little space, not enough time to connect, so much going on and all of the stress was being funneled into our relationship. All of that led to yelling ( Read more... )

Everything's falling apart.

Today I found out that two days ago my favorite teacher from high school passed away after having a heart attack. The news hit me like a punch in the stomach and I felt like I could cry so hard but I had to hold it all in and keep working. Now that I'm at home I could cry in peace but the tears aren't there... I think work fucked up the grieving ( Read more... )

I'm up late by myself which is an old habit. Ben's in bed, he's not feeling too well. I started working on my online grad school application and ended up looking at my old LJs to get specific dates of when classes began and ended when I was in the states. I honestly don't know how I feel reading that old stuff. It makes me happy to remember ( Read more... )

I had a wonderful birthday. Opened my presents from Ben in the morning and sat around drinking coffee in the huge comfy brown housecoat he got me. Rented skates and went ice-skating with friends at Victoria Park, at the cupcakes my sister made me, got happy birthday texts, phonecalls and myspace messages all day, then went for a very romantic and ( Read more... )

I don't even think I'm human anymore. I am a shell. I don't live now so that I can live in the future and everything I do is to serve that purpose. It's all I think about and it's all I want. I want it more than I want time to take a walk, call a friend, buy a Christmas tree. I want it more than I want my apartment to be clean, my laundry ( Read more... )

Do doctors every get over the fact that they're OMG, DOCTORS?? Seriously. I swear, every time I'm at the Tim Hortons on campus that's right across from the UofA Hospital I sit near some loud-ass table of doctors who can't stop talking very loudly about doctor stuff. They are by far the loudest voices in the restaurant and they talk about being ( Read more... )