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Fear Changes Souls
Some things never change. Some parts of us never change, but stay the same, locked in an eternal circle that's spinning wildly out of control. We hold on and try to make it stand still, but it just keeps on spinning. My head is empty, my soul is tired. "An old soul", I've been told. Does it need rest? Should I be looking for a spot to retire to, ( Read more... ) -
San Francisco
San Francisco feels different from New York. Maybe because here I'm in no rush, no job, no responsibilities. I guess that adds the spice to an already chill location. But it feels calmer and friendlier here, too. Perhaps it's just a facade, a mask that the city puts on for guests, tourists and former inhabitants. Maybe it's a trap, like a spider ( Read more... ) -
Thanksgiving
Three hours of sleep. Eight hours of flying. Two take-offs, two landings, some turbulence. Two entertaining flight companions (and a silent third), from two different countries but one major bank. One mini-crush, zero phone/email exchanges. One Chinese couple, one cup of tea, one box of cookies. Countless happiness at seeing two loving parents. One ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
I wish I had more to say but words fail me. I wish I could find the meaning but it is out of reach. I close my eyes and pretend Im not here. I don't know where I am, but it's far and wonderful, and only I can truly understand just how lovely it is. I close my eyes and wish for something more. Why is it so hard to dream when reality hurts that much ( Read more... ) -
A Memory
It has been years since their melody graced this world. They’ve now dissipated. Nothing is left. What remains of their perfection? Just a memory. Nothing more. What remains of their unfinished love? Just a shadow of memory. A phrase here, a photo there. They aren’t meant to be together, they never have been. Only the belief - the strong, grinding, ( Read more... ) -
One of Life's Mysteries
Some people will stay in my life forever. Some will disappear without a trace, though they never leave their town. Some people will become "occasionally important", I will remember them at certain periods of my life. We will swim synchronously for a short period of time, then separate again, then catch up and lose each other again the big sea of ( Read more... ) -
Annoyance
I am annoyed. I'm outraged and disgusted and feeling like every particle in my body is alight with these terrible, heavy emotions. There's no reason for my rage, and yet it brews within me, simmering on the inside, seeking a release or an outlet. But no release comes. Everything around me kindles the already growing fire. Like the freezing ( Read more... ) -
Nightmare. Some time ago.
I woke up in a nightmare. All around me strange creatures walked around my room. I saw my reflection in the mirror, but it did not see me. Then it smiled at me, but I couldn't smile back. Something told me to get up, but I couldn't lift my blanket. I watched as they touched my pictures and books, picked up my vases and dropped my favorite cups. I ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
Istead of writing my paper I stare at this blank slate and wish for something more, for something that cannot be achieved. I wish to find the answer to questions that shouldn't even be in my head. There are doubts in there, they cannot be weeded out of me. I doubt much and I hope for little, but I go on because what choice is there. To give up and ( Read more... )