New Year's Eve. I'm facing New Year's Eve without you. This seems more terrifying than Christmas did. Christmas comes and goes with little effect on every day life. New Year's Eve signifies a change. A big change. Usually, it represents a fresh start, a time to make changes to better your life. I don't want any of that. I want to just stay here. ( Read more... )

Dear Daddy ( Read more... )

It's been one month since I've last spoken to you, teased you, played a hidden picture game while watching stupid reality TV with you. One month since I've seen you burn things, passed by you in the living room and rested my chin on your head or hugged you. One month since I've heard you say "Hey girl," as I walked by, or endured your teasing or ( Read more... )

I am not a band-aid ripper. I peek. I carefully lift the corner and slowly peel back part of it, just enough so I can see the wound. If I don't think it's ready, I'll replace it and wait a few more days. If it is, I'll slowly peel it the rest of the way off, fold it in half twice and toss it ( Read more... )

My life changed forever today ( Read more... )

stage IV. Treatable, not curable. Spread to bone and liver. I'm absolutely crushed for her. I took her up there to help her get her stuff. They played nice with her. Wouldn't even ACKNOWLEDGE me. I must have REALLY pissed them off by putting in my two weeks to be completely written off like that. Oh well. I really don't give a rats ass what they ( Read more... )

I was suppose to go to the zoo. Instead, I went to the hospital. My friend was diagnosed with advanced breast cancer on Thursday. They think it has spread to her liver and her stomach as well. I went up there to visit her to see how she's doing. My old workplace doesn't give a rats ass. She called them on Wednesday and told them she thought she was ( Read more... )

As predicted, I worked by myself all day. I think it worked in my favor. I had such bad cramps that I don't think I could have dealt with anyone bothering me. Ugh. I am not a fan of this. It's like nothing below my shoulders does not hurt. Not. cool. I was going to go see Rifftrax Live tonight but I just can't take it ( Read more... )

I'm not sure why I bother writing here anymore. I don't have anything exciting to say. I blather on about how this sucks or that sucks or I'm not doing anything or I miss something. I wonder if it's even worth bothering with anymore. Part of this may be my grumpiness talking. That seems to be a pretty constant state lately. Some of this is hormonal ( Read more... )

So another year has come and gone without Tango. This anniversary passed a little differently than the last one. Last one I sat outside and cried. This time, I went outside and rescued a giant turtle trying to navigate across the subdivision. My parents went with me over to the lake, and we set him down on the shore and watched him take off. I took ( Read more... )