*nudge nudge nudge ( Read more... )

I should not be by myself right now, but here I am. And here they come. There is no stopping them. I hate myself today, and I'm alone.

Close the window,
Calm the light...
And it will be all right.
Let it out,
Let it all begin.
Learn how to pretend...

It's hard to be strong when you're all alone.

I have been nearly comatose for the better part of the last 24 hours. It's amazing how long you can push and push and push yourself, and then have everything all come crashing down when it's all said and done.

It's been go-go-go ever since October. I had the Radio City job -- which was exciting and fun -- and then it was on to Steel Pier, and ( Read more... )

So unbelievably tired. So drained. So depressed.

Everyone has taken their pound of flesh, and there is nothing left to give to anyone else; there's nothing left to save for myself. I can't even indulge in a self-serving tirade about how empty I feel on the inside because I'm going to be late for rehearsal. Run, Don, run. Dance, mister. Everywhere ( Read more... )

Eight hundred miles, eight hours on the train, seven hours of waiting, $300 and a shuffle-ball-change later:

No thank you.

This is not working. Oh, and I'm old... and fat.

Complicated. Difficult. Dramatic. Acting. Stage. Theater. Audition. Make it. Lose it. Fail. Win. Success. Fame. Wealth. Power. Glamour. Magazines. TV. Movies. Broadway. New York. London. Japan. Disney. Bec. Will. Chris. Vicki. Ralf. Josef. Shawn. Dancer. Technique. Class. Study. Work. Lazy. Money. Debt. Credit. Fraud. Scam. Car. Bus. Time. Late. ( Read more... )

I just don't understand why this keeps happening. Seriously, what is wrong with me? I don't understand. No matter what I do, or how I try to make changes in my life for the better, I just always come up short. It's like I'm meant to feel this way all the time... no chance of parole, no hope of escape. I put on a happy face, and for a while I truly ( Read more... )

Finally! We made it! Twelve days later and we're none the worse for wear. Of course, our bank account has seen better days, but for the most part, things haven't been that bad. Anyway, enough of the foreplay, let's get right to it.

( On the Twelfth Day of Christmas... )

Almost there...

( On the Eleventh Day of Christmas... )

I know, you're getting awful tired of all this Christmas talk; it's January 2006, after all. But there are still two more days to come. After all, we're so close to being completely bankrupt; why stop now?

( On the Tenth Day of Christmas... )