Just in case you didn't know, if I say "I love you", that means this:

I would die before I let anyone hurt you ( Read more... )

2004 is finally done. It was not one of my better years, right up until the final five minutes of the year. Even though the year is "new", time is not so discontinuous. I can't dissociate from what I feel just because it happened "last year", when last year was just a few moments ago ( Read more... )

The last tally was over 70,000 people. Seventy... thousand... people. Gone in an instant.

I can't even wrap my mind around a number that large: 23,700. And still climbing. Statistics like that are so empty. You see a number of that magnitude and say to yourself, "23,700 people dead?" How do you comprehend the profundity of something like that? The reports that have been sweeping in are that most of those numbers are children. It's just ( Read more... )

Dreams are weird. Very weird dreams last night. Very weird. Not as disconcerting as they usually are, but very weird nonetheless. Anyway, it doesn't really matter ( Read more... )

Due to things that are going on in the world today, I'll keep this brief. I know that there are things bigger than me and my life. But, at the same time, this is my diary and a place for my thoughts, and I should be able to write what I feel. So, now that the disclaimer is done, I'll get on with my life ( Read more... )

Ah, the holiday season. I must confess that it is a lot different being on this side of the world for Christmas. I've never celebrated Christmas before, but even still, it just seems kind of strange to not be in the States during the holiday madness. The stores are crowded, but they're not packed full-to-busting with angry men and women vying for ( Read more... )

It seems to be lately that the more I reach out to others to help assuage this depression, the more people pull away. It seems that the more "proactive" (I loathe that word, but it seems to fit) I try to be about being happy and not letting my isolations and loneliness get me down, the worse I feel. It seems that the harder I try to find that " ( Read more... )

It's not another one of those posts, but it's another one of those posts.

( The attention just encourages her... )

Warning: This is going to be a very melodramatic post that you should probably skip. Ironically, it may be the first post in a month to which I will allow comments.

If I were to die and go to hell, ( I know what my eternal torment would be. )