Challenged By Reality

[pseudnik]

Just been to get my hair cut. The hairdresser asked me "How are you finding the condition of your hair at the moment?". I was stumped. Really, I was. It was on the tip of my tongue to reply "It's sat there on top of my head minding its own business like it normally does", but I thought better of it. In the end I settled for "Errrm... good?" which

Comments

[entropy_house]

Well, I suppose you could have told her, 'It's rather lazy and out of condition. Whenever I ask it if it wants to go jogging, it just waves.'

[pseudnik]

Do you think she was suggesting that my hair looks fat? The bitch!

[entropy_house]

Whenever they say 'your hair is limp and lifeless' I wonder what do they expect? It's dead cells hanging down by the force of gravity. Is it supposed to do the tango?

[pseudnik]

I'm writing that one down for my next visit to the hairdresser.

[hafren]

I think that would have been a fine reply.

Alternative: I consult GoogleMaps and if that doesn't work, I ask someone

[pseudnik]

Hairdressers usually seem to be upset by my total lack of interest in or vocabulary concerning hair. It always seems like a bad idea to upset somebody who is hovering close to your ear with a really sharp pair of scissors.

[kalypso_v]

They do speak a different language. Over the years, I've asked various hairdressers and/or chemists if they can recommend a shampoo to help with an itchy scalp. The reply is usually "We have XXX for a sensitive scalp." I've never worked out whether this means "No", or whether "itchy" is too unpleasant a word and has to be euphemised as "sensitive".

[pseudnik]

I suppose 'itchy' does carry with it connotations of fleas or open sores. Not that I'm suggesting you have either, of course.

Now I just want to walk into a pharmacy and try to think of something unpleasant I could claim to have that they couldn't possibly think of a nice euphemism for.

[edithmatilda]

Dude. I thought it was only women who weren't allowed not to care about these things.

I once had a hairdresser who went on at me for ages about how my hair was "flat" and "ugly" and "like a ski slope". By this he meant that it was long and ordinary and had not been enhanced with eight kinds of layering. (There was no dandruff on it, which is what I'd have thought snide skiing references meant.) This is one of the reasons I stick with a couple of minutes with the sewing scissors these days. It may not always be strictly speaking Not Insane And Messy, but at least I don't spend an hour on front of a mirror insulting myself and implying that I am a bad person for not caring.

[pseudnik]

Hair trauma can strike anybody. ANYBODY, I TELL YOU!

I was quite enjoying being unkempt and beardy, but apparently it isn't considered socially acceptable to model your appearance on the man in the High Street who shouts out random passages from the Bible. Ho hum.

[edithmatilda]

Yak was once hailed as Jesus by a crazy lady in London. Baba totally won by smiling and saying "I'm his father". My dad's greatest moment of awesome and I wasn't even there. I'm told the lady was well scared though. Mwa ha, taunt the mental.