Really... I just got hit by a car... not bad but I twisted my ankle... I was walking home from going to the Doctor with Eva... Im glad I got out and walked today... but really.... I know there is a lot of stress going on in my lil world... and all I want to do is get better and be there for the ones I love...

I dont give a fuck.... I am so tired of the yes and no's.... Im tired of feeling guilty about every little thing I do.... Fuck this day.... I want a redo....

Cant sleep.... I feel like shit... stomach is killing me... joints are cramped up... yeah... Lyme is kicking my ass... today would be a good day to just go crawl in a hole and die... my mood is fluctuating like crazy... I cant really focus... I have a mission today... I will complete it one way or another... I was told that there are some things ( Read more... )

Im have a bad brain evening... this is pissing me off... Eva wants to talk and

Just Ugh.... I just dont know... I dont know what Im gonna do... do I continue the treatment and go to Washington... or do I continue it and stay here... WTF am I to do... the one I love is moving to OK... and I will be left here... Been down that path before... and it hurt like hell... It was hard enough to leave the hotel room when she asked me ( Read more... )

I am so tired... I have no energy... the Lyme treatment is kicking my ass... who would have thought... Damn... I once was strong... mentally... physically.... now I am withering away.... I am 1/3 the size I was... I am getting worse... what sucks is I am basically doing this alone... I am in a house that I I am safe... but I really dont want to be ( Read more... )

Really... I really hate how this shit is making me feel.. I really really want to stop treatment... I am so tired of hurting and feeling like shit... I can feel like shit without it... I know its gonna get worse before it gets better... I have gotten to the point where I have thought about taking my life... I always snap out of it... there are to ( Read more... )

I sit here and talk to you on facebook... you always get me thinking... not always dirty things... but I think about us... what we were... what we are now and what we could be or could have been... so many emotions... I fight a battle inside everyday... I fight the anger I have towards myself... there was no words to describe how I was feeling... I ( Read more... )

Fuck this bullshit... the Toyota not running... What the fuck did you do to my truck you fat fucking bastard???? I busted my ass to get it running... I reluctantly gave it back to my mom when I left... You useless piece of shit... what did you do??? Fuck you!!!!! I fucken Hate you with all my being... you are lazy... you are a meth head... and you ( Read more... )

All these thoughts ( Read more... )