I have moved to aruvani and have just started to move my Friends list over to there.

psychosynthesis ends here with nothing left for me to say as a new phase of my life begins. new LiveJournal too. good-bye.

how much self-hatred comes from fear. you fear the consequences of acting on your pain, of acting revenge. you fear reprisal, you fear going to jail or prison. you have no place to put the black rage so you place it in your heart. not masochism but the desire for revenge turned inward. if you only had the courage to hurt them you would not hurt ( Read more... )

hope has returned to me.

a reality check...

( a story by Eleanor Farjeon )

from here on, my whiny entries go under Private. I do know why I did not think of this earlier. this means that I can write whatever I like there.

my e-mail address works again (but for how long?) no more to write, thoughts too big to codify and write down.

a man whistles the opening lick of "You Only Live Twice" out on the street. from my perch, reading LiveJournal, at a window overlooking through the street near which I can sonically spy on my neighorhood, I smile at his good taste.

I bitch so much. the world has so many kind souls in it, even in Boston, so much compassion. something about the anonymity of the internet allows strangers to give it. not that I have just received help from strangers. thanks due to _solstice_, yet again, as well as to my face to face friends who haven't LiveJournals and therefore will probably not read ( Read more... )

most intense thunderstorm I can remember since forever. it began at midnight. flashes every second, subliminal inserts of monochrome photographs of an overcast day. bolts of lightning setting off car alarms, which sound like insects before the storm. will turn off the light, turn off the computer and watch this.