I have a problem, I'm quite aware. Most of you drink to relax and have a good time and that's cool. I reach for the bottle any chance I get just so I can feel normal. So I feel like I can be anyone besides myself. I hate myself. I hate everything about me ( Read more... )

friendships are gay and over rated. Life is stupid and over rated. Something needs to give before I give up. I wish most people just wouldn't even try to be nice. Because then I feel bad and don't wanna be rude. And I especially hate meeting new girls they're nice in the beginning but in the end I'll end up hating them and myself for even trying to ( Read more... )

It never always amazes me how down I am all the time ( Read more... )

Tonight I looked through a lot of old family pictures. . .and I see everyone laughing and smiling. . .but I'm not in many of them. If you read this and don't know me, my mom and dad couldn't have kids of their own. I was an abortion that turned into an adoption. I'm the only kid in the family to have never finished school, who doesn't have a job or ( Read more... )

So I'm a litttle late on doing this seeing as how we are now on day 5 of the tour but I'm gonna back up and start with the night before I left ( Read more... )

Another fucking night up untill 6am even though I have to work at like 2 today . . .shit. I've got to much shit on my mind. Things I want to happen with School Girl Knife Fight ( Read more... )

Well she's moving and of course I wait till now to say "heyyy by the way I like you and don't want you to move" and that makes her feel bad sucks. . But I thought about it and it makes me wonder. . .if I would have spolen up maybe she wouldn't be moving to be with him. . .but if she wasn't moving I never would have said anything. Weird how things ( Read more... )

If any of you ever heard me talk about candy. . .forget that shit. I thought she was real and actually my friend and you know like perfect for me. . .hah oh well I hope she's happy with allen and all that. Now I wish we never met. Oh well it's life. . .that's just how it goes. Everyone says I'm young. . .but I've been hearing it for 6 years now ( Read more... )

So it's like 6am I'm about to try to sleep and I haven't really done much today although I have. I've thought about so much and realised how things could be. I miss being on stage. I miss singing to hundreds of people. . I miss the road. I wanna start writing my music again I wanna record I wanna record some solo stuff I wanna fall in love I wanna ( Read more... )

So thursday we went out to eat for my cousins birthday it was nice. . .wish my family did stuff like that for me on my birthday. Oh well so yeah after that I went to adams house and hung out there till like 3 or so then went home.(apartment) I woke up at like 12 today and had to meet matt(sgkf) at the meridian he was helping me with work and we got ( Read more... )