it seems very strange to me that you can live with someone for an entire year and not know that one of their parents had passed away previously. i suppose it's not something that comes up in conversations, easily, but...strange.

sometimes i feel as though i forget what is really important to me...almost like i lost my ability to judge what is important and what is not, and the degrees therein. sometimes i wish that something disastrous would happen in my life, so i would be forced to appreciate things.

so, i met this boy...again.

I suppose I should just start using names in my posts for my own future clarity, if no one else's ( Read more... )

sometimes (a lot of the time), i read back through older journal entries that i have cryptically posted without names, but that are obviously directed at a specific person, and i can't figure out who it was meant for. that's messed up.

when did it become so painful to be alive?

i want your warm but it will only make me colder when it's over...

I haven't ever thought of drugs and alcohol as all that similar. But lately I am beginning to feel more like I felt in Seattle when I was fucked up on pills all the time. Only this time it's with drinking. But it's harder, because I don't have to hide it or lie about it, nor can I hide from it. It's always readily available. And I am just digging ( Read more... )

i wish i could explain myself, but words escape me.

sometimes i just wish that you would say you love me like you used to. but i know i didn't want it, and i know it would have just gone away. sometimes i wonder if things will ever be different.