Comments | punkinberry: Forgiveness

punkinberry

Forgiveness

Mar 13, 2006 22:17

So I ran into an old high school friend yesterday at the mall. We parted on very bad terms, about 7 years ago, because she screwed me over then lied to me about it. When she finally admitted to what she'd done, I just didn't respect her anymore. They say you should forgive, but it was the second time she'd screwed me over in exactly the same way ( Read more... )

Comments 8

fuzzyscribble March 14 2006, 03:46:27 UTC

Well...Skulde and her brother are the only two people from High School that I still talk to. Not because I didn't have any friends from HS...but because I have a terrible temper...and am extremely stubborn. I've lost more friends than I have because of it.

Rewarming an old acquaintance isn't the same thing as giving someone an opportunity to hurt you again. Now you know her MO...just have whatever relationship you can. Sometimes it can be a really good thing to get together with someone who knows you from "back when" before maturity took hold.

Most people make mistakes in patterns. It's the way we're wired...and they're hard to break. Might be why she pissed you off the same way twice.

Then again...I occasionally see my cousin at the grocery store...and I never stop him to say hi. So what do I know about relationships...

nekosensei March 14 2006, 13:02:51 UTC

How many years has it been since high school? Is it possible that she's changed? People do change...

puddnhead March 14 2006, 16:00:57 UTC

That was my thought too. Lord knows I'm not the same person I was seven years ago and thank god for it. Still, I can understand being gunshy after being burned twice.

punkinberry March 14 2006, 17:51:22 UTC

You gotta figure if someone's a jerk at 17, and again at 27, that 34 isn't gonna bring a whole lotta improvement to a person. And really, what upsets me more than her doing bad things is the subsequent lying about it. We all make mistakes, I know that. But to attempt to deny any wrongdoing and flat out lie about for days on end is nigh unforgivable to me.

puddnhead March 14 2006, 19:39:38 UTC

That time spread certainly does make things a little different. I was imagining someone doing something dumb at 17 and then again at 18. If you can't grow up in ten years, you need to accept that the consequence of your actions is going to include permanently losing friends.

starkraving_mad March 14 2006, 16:02:08 UTC

My thought is that a little kindness doesn't hurt anything. And you can always do it while keeping her at arms length. I think it would be smart not to immediately trust her again, but that doesn't mean you can't have some kind of relationship. Besides, these kind of random meetings don't generally lead anywhere. Chances are you'll email back and forth once or twice, then stop.

Well then... donutato_kun March 15 2006, 17:19:40 UTC

My question is, if you didn't want to write, why did you exchange E-mails? If you seriously don't like her, why all the exuberence ( ... )

punkinberry March 15 2006, 17:52:44 UTC

There's a reason we haven't spoken in 7 years. She is fully aware of my negative response to her treatment of me. I was nice to her last weekend simply because it was easier, and also because my sister was the one who spotted her and said hello. I probably would have ignored her altogether.

I guess I'm just not sure what all is entailed in forgiveness. This woman hurt me, and I can't forget it. I don't want to give her a chance to do it again. She has proven over the years to be someone who doesn't deserve my friendship. So what more is there?