why am i constantly plagued by doubts?

and it's midlife crisis time. i always seem to fuck up when i come back to wisconsin in the winter. and this winter was no exception. making the same mistakes over and over. i need to get off this ferris wheel of stupid before anyone else gets hurt.

i have some awesome friends. i just wish they lived closer to me, or i to them.

it is not getting any better

i hate everything

hating my life today.
everything seems to be going wrong.
i can't take much more of this shit.

i need something good to happen.

why can't he hurt like i do?

gonna be home alone, drinking.

this house is too quiet.

why can't i just be happy ( Read more... )

kinda wanna run home and cry.
i didn't think it would hurt so much.
or that i would feel so alone.
this hurts so much.

and he doesn't seem to care at all.
why doesn't he have to hurt?
why does he get to have the support of our friends?
why am i all alone?

this is killing me.

not a great morning ( Read more... )