it seems everything is working it's self out now. work starts up agian in a month exactly. still waiting to hear from keene. i feel more peaceful on the inside. like i have my moments but right now i feel very calm and kind of whole.like i'm trying the best i can which is all i can really do. i've been missing my grandmother alot lately. like when ( Read more... )

ok i feel like i'm on the brink of makeing myself go crazy. i just keep takeing so much stuff to heart lately that it's breaking it apart. i've done really well handeling my depression for awhile..and i don't know maybe it's like emotions still holding over from when my grandmother died or somthing but it just seems i can't stop really it just ( Read more... )

so i'm going up to keene in a little bit to go see kayla and i'm super excited!!! javi is supposed to come to but who knows where he is right now....i think i'mn just going to leave....anyways yae for a night away!!

so ya i haven't wriiten in a bit. My grandmother passed away 2 weeks ago. it's been kinda tough. i'm really thankful for my bffl though. actually i'm pretty thankful for most of my friends becuse they were there when i needed them. but she came home to be with me and my cousin. she sang Amazing grace at the funeral and it comforted me that she was ( Read more... )

so today is my last day of being a teenager. i'm kinda like blah about it. not like i can stop it or anything. i think i will just tell people i'm two...you know to soften the blow of being 20 just a little bit. jeez so i was just looking at my baby book....and i was born at 1:55 am. so ya this is my total last day as a teenager ( Read more... )

i'm very very fustrated with myself as of late. it kinda feels like my brain went on vacation because i can't keep my thoughts straight. i'm a big pain to myself the sad part is i relize this but i can't fix it. kinda feel maybe i'm be a little over dramtic about things but it's kinda i can't figure a way to deal still. i'm searching for a way to ( Read more... )

so my grandmother is sorta giveing up now. it sucks. my grandpa joe is not doing that much better. my grandmother moved her bed downstairs because she has trouble getting up the stairs.there is talk about moveing christmas just in case.....i couldn't stop crying when i got home from her house the other day. every so often when i'm by myself i ( Read more... )

soooo this looking for a job thing not going so well......maybe i'm just to picky i don't know...whatever i have one job..it's the second one that is going to make my life hell. ya whatever....still haven't heard back from keene yet but that would be an awsome surprise for this week. i relized today that it sucks to be home. i need to go shopping ( Read more... )

so the keene stuff has been going well. hopefully in january i'll be out of here and up with joe and kayla! but anyways going to a concert with joe tomorrow at gordon college. should be fun. i feel kinda forgotten latly by people i don't know. i'm starting to get my really bad headaches agian. i have no energy and can't really eat anything. stress ( Read more... )

i'm confused.........just thought i'd say that